Does your shul have babysitting for the yomim noraim?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur

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shabbatiscoming

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 1:11 am

Just wondering how many people have babysitting provided in their shul.

mine does, for the past two or three years and I am going to go and daven for the first time in a long time.

growing up, for many years, the public high school had off on the yomim noraim because there were quiet a few jews learning there, so the shul got non jewish kids to babysit. it always worked out so nicely.

Last edited by shabbatiscoming on Fri, Sep 19 2014, 1:19 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 1:17 am

My shul has 2 minyanim. The first minyan is over before the second minyan starts mussaf. Teens (and a few adults) who daven at the early minyan are paid to babysit until second minyan is over. This way women can go to mussuf and shofer.

Barbara

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 1:53 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Yes, our shul offers babysitting.

Ruchel

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 7:28 am

No, and have never encountered the concept irl.

Sanguine

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 7:45 am

My shul doesn't offer it - The mothers put it together. The mothers take shifts, make the rules, arrange shofar blowing for the kids, set rules of snacks kids can bring, arrange to all bring some toys to share, clean up together Motzei Chag, chip in for shared drinks and bamba... Shul is quiet cause all the kids are at the babysitting. Four mothers do a shift together. I watch for 1.5 hours one day and I have my kids taken care of all the other times. It works beautifully cause we're not hiring a teenager. We're having real live mothers do it. The shul doesn't provide it. The mothers do it so that they can daven and know that their kids are being cared for by other mothers. Most of the kids love it too. It's one big party.

freidasima

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 7:56 am

We don't have such a thing. After mincha gedola we have a second set of tekiyot for those who can't make it for davening. For years when the kids were small I didnt daven in shul and it was just fine. Shul for me is overrated anyhow, very happy to skip it. If only the grandchildren were here for yuntif I would be happy to stay home and babysit for them and let the mothers go to shul if they wanted to....lol! But they are all at their own homes (the marrieds) and so...

saw50st8

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 8:17 am

The shul has youth groups for ages 3+. If your 2 year old is well behaved, they can participate in youth groups as well.

They don't have babysitting for babies though.

They do also have a second shofar blowing for anyone who hasn't heard at a minyan.

Our shul isn't large enough to have a second minyan. There is a much larger shul within walking distance that has multiple minyanim should someone want to do that.

MiracleMama

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 8:23 am

There is a kids' program, but nothing for dropping off a baby if that's what you mean.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 8:27 am

MiracleMama wrote:

There is a kids' program, but nothing for dropping off a baby if that's what you mean.

I meant the drop off kind.

Sanguine

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 8:27 am

freidasima wrote:

I love shul here on the Yamim noraim. It's not shleppy like it was in America. Everyone sings together. My favorite part is the Avoda on Yom Kippur. In America (young Israel) no women ever went down on the floor (except one lady and her daughters who seemed so odd to me). Here I go down with everyone and it's really such an inspiring thing. And then the best thing is the end when they sing Mareh Kohen. In America the Chazzan kvetched through it. Here it's so upbeat - A real wedding dance song. So we're all so inspired from going down on the floor and then we break out in song for Mareh Kohen. This feeling like we prayed our hearts out and now we're forgiven.

You don't get that davening at home

yo'ma

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 8:49 am

Nope, not at all!! We go to a small shul that used to have a much larger kehila, but the children, who are now grown up, go to other shuls, so we're the youngest ones there.

cbg

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 8:49 am

Not exactly babysitting. We do offer a children's program for Shabbat and Yom Tov for ages 2 and up. ( boys 2-5, girls 2 and up.) the boys 6 and up have a youth minyan. Lots of girls volunteer. They daven, ask questions on the Perasha and yom Tov, and play games.
The problem is no one can enforce the older kids to stay inside, 7 yr olds and up. They say they want to go to their parents, are escorted to the sanctuary, but then their parents never take them back to the program. They leave the sanctuary and are disruptive. Parents also need to be parents.

gp2.0

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 9:02 am

No babysitting, but they blow shofar again after davening especially for moms.

freidasima

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 9:12 am

Sang, hate to tell you but I don't go down on the floor, women don't usually...and the davening in shul does nothing for me that davening at home doesn't do..... I actually did like it in america as a child but that's because I loved my kehilla there and have never found a kehilla in EY that I love and I have seen many. They are nice but I don't "love" being there. To each their own.

My shul in america was never "shleppy" and the davening was lovely. Here in EY the davening is long, I do not like chazanut of any kind, and for me it's a punishment to go to shul from 7:30 AM to 2:00 PM with no break (that's how we do it) with mincha gedola right after mussaf. Too much shul. DH and I are both very much of the short hashkomo minyan group, another shul nearby has a 7 Am to 10 AM RH minyan but our rov refuses to allow such a thing...so we spend our time counting the burnt out lightbulbs during the chassonus. Did I tell you that I only recently told my friend our rebbetzin how I spend most of shul and now...she counts the burnt out lightbulbs as well.

Look, some people go for the communal thing, the singing, etc. For me it does not uplift me. Davening per se uplifts me and at home I can really daven the way I want to with no one around to distract me, in the comfort of my own home. Men go to shul in my world, women usually do not...other than holidays. For me RH and YK are cheshbon nefesh time, davening for whatever I am davening for. For that I need a machzor and space and to be able to speak to the Ribono Shel Olam. The tunes do not uplift me, they are not the tunes of my youth which would be the only ones that would maybe stir memories. Let's just say in brief that I am very much NOT a shul person nor are my kids...the girls don't see a shul from RH to RH, not the married not the singles, the boys do what they are supposed to and that's that. And that's fine for us.

asp40

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 9:39 am

Our shul has babysitting for ages 3+ I believe. However, the year I saw my 4yr old alone outdoors and complained, I learned that it is the kids responsibility to stay in the social hall with the teens.

Well, I disagree. It is the teens responsibility to be by the door and not let a 4 year old outside. SO now the kids come and sit with us for the davening. They bring loads of books, snacks and take breaks. But it is better knowing they are not in that ruckus.

Chayalle

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 9:51 am

Sanguine wrote:

In America (young Israel) no women ever went down on the floor (except one lady and her daughters who seemed so odd to me).

In the RW yeshivish shul I grew up in, there were several women who went down on the floor. Everyone did according to their family minhag.

princessleah

Fri, Sep 19 2014, 10:12 am

Mine has a children's service from 10:30-12 this year that parents must be in the room for also (nothing before 10:30). Then at 12 they will have babysitting until shul is over.
The hard part will be convincing them to stay in the babysitting without a parent. Also I will have to bring lunch for them. Also the 2 yr old's nap will be pushed off.

shabbatiscoming

Sat, Sep 20 2014, 1:49 pm

freidasima wrote:

FS, Ive been to a few different communities here on Rosh HaShana and I always see women go down all the way for aleinu. Not just one or two, but quite a few. Never saw it in america. There maybe one or two. SO dont say women dont usually. Maybe where you daven, but Ive seen it in many places.

You have shul fom 7:30 - 2 on rosh hashana? Never heard of such a long davening, anywhere. Here or america (or south africa where we were one year)

you say that women dont usually go to shul only the holidays. Is that really how it is where you live? That is very hard to believe. In most MO communities where I have lived women daven in shul every week. And I mean from the yishuvim here, to raanana, to tel aviv, to jlem, to the golan to communities in chul. Ive never been to a MO community where most women only go for chagim. Strange, if you ask me.

And you didnt have your single daughters go to shul growing up? I also find that strange, but to each their own.

grace413

Sat, Sep 20 2014, 2:59 pm

Different strokes. My shul is starting at 8:15 and I hope we'll be finished by one.

Going to shul every Shabbat and Chag is very important to me. Much more conducive to davening than home where I am just too distracted. I like to hear the Torah reading.

In my shul most women go down to the floor but I don't (they'd need heavy machinery to get me back up).

In my younger days when I worked 6 days a week I was very happy with the speed minyan I attended. Now I go to a Carlebach minyan which takes a bit longer but since I'm a lady of leisure I don't mind. (The fact that its a 2 minute walk from my house doesn't hurt either). I'm not really the Carlebach type but we have a wonderful kehillah.

When my kids were little I was very lucky - they always stayed quiet for shofar (even though DH could blow for me if I needed it). If I got to say one Shmoneh Esrai either at shul or at home I was happy.

freidasima

Sat, Sep 20 2014, 3:30 pm

Shabbat, I wrote that "in my world"...etc. remember that I'm a very different generation than you are. And indeed in "my world" women do not prostrate themselves on RH and YK or ever. We were taught that it is not considered modest for women to do so, and thus we do not.

I have certainly seen women bow low in oleinu but have never seen a woman in shul prostrate themselves flat out on the floor like men do. The men kneel down and then stretch out flat on the floor, face and forehead touching the floor body flat on the floor. I have never in my life seen a woman do that, not in shul in England, in the USA or in EY on the yomim noraim.

Could be the feminists do it but I have never davened in a feminist shul, never davened in a shul where women dance with the torah on simchas torah and never davened in a shul where women dance at all! My world, as I said, is made up of late middle age and older women mostly and the young people do not daven around here for yuntif usually.

Yes of course we have shul from 7:30 to 2. Doesn't everyone? The 2 includes mincha gedola which begins sometime between 1:15 to 1:30 depending on the chazzan. Don't you have chazzonus? With us it's usually shachris 7:30-9:45, Kriyas hatorah etc. and kiddush and shofar until 11:15 and musaf from 11:15 - 1:15 or 1:30 depending on the chazzan.

And yes, in my world most women only go to shul on the holidays unless you are talking about very young girls and very old women, the great grandmothers. The junior high and high school age young single girls go to shul Friday nite but never on shabbos day around here, shabbos morning only the very old ladies go - all the rest of us are either taking care of small children or grandchildren! It's only after you are a great grandmother that you don't have a house full of grandchildren around shabbos morning to help your daughters or daughters in law care for.

My single daughters never went to shul and I never went to shul during the year...nor did any of the women I know. What for? Women don't count for a minyan boruch Hashem, so why in the world should we go to shul? My husband always davens at the 7 AM shabbos minyan in the beis medrish and there isn't even an ezras noshim there! There are MO kehillas and more shtark MO and I've always been part of the more shtark. We are NOT feminist in these shuls and are very happy to leave the minyan going to the men. We have more than enough work with taking care of kids and home, aren't mechuyav to daven even and are yotzi with kriyas shma because our avodas Hashem is taking care of our children, our homes, our husbands so that they can daven, learn etc. I know that you aren't used to it but think more along the lines of charedi and more shtark women, many in my generation, although MO, are like that.

Abroad it is different because shul is the center of the Jewish community and so women go much more. Here there is no Jewish "community" like there is abroad nor is there a need for one. Thus going to shul doesn't have that "demonstrative" and "performative" role that it does abroad, it's "brutto=netto" davening (or gossping and that I can CERTAINLY do without) and the davening I can do just as well at home at my own time.

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