Telling about a person by looking at their face

joy613

Sun, Sep 21 2014, 3:05 pm

marina wrote:

omg, that's very scary. You make shidduchim essentially based on how people's faces look. Awful.

I don't think that is so awful. She's not arranging a marriage based on faces, just arranging dates.
The two people take it from there.

busymom

Sun, Sep 21 2014, 4:55 pm

For the amothers above who read faces, I do believe they can do this well. I have a friend like that. She is eerily on target. When I first got to know her, I showed her pictures of some family members, and her observations were unbelievable. She would often cover the mouth so as not to be distracted by a smile/frown and focus exclusively on the eyes. People like this are blessed with an extra dose of intuition or perceptiveness, and channeling this skill to shidduchim is an interesting idea.

Another observation: I would score higher than my husband on any IQ test. I did much better in school than him. However, his gut response to people we meet are much more on target than mine. I'm a bit idealistic and think everyone is nice and means well. Whenever he has a negative feeling upon meeting someone, he ends up being right about them. I'd trust his first impressions over mine any time.

octopus

Sun, Sep 21 2014, 5:05 pm

there may be something to it, but I don't think you can really tell just from a picture. It's more than just a face. It's reading how a person carries themselves, speaks, and body language. Within the first few seconds of meeting someone I am usually able to sum up a person with their positives and negatives. I am usually correct. However, I always, always, always give the person a chance just in case I'm wrong. I have been wrong a few times. But in most cases my character analysis (which is subconscious) is right on the money. But again, it is not only based on face. It is based on mannerisms, expressions, body language, etc.

debsey

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 10:46 am

octopus wrote:

There's a great book - The Gift of Fear - by Gavin De Becker, and he writes that people get a "funny feeling" when they are with dangerous people, because they are reading subtle cues. NOT facial expressions, because sociopaths, manipulators, and criminals can control those - but other signs like body language, mannerisms, sometimes language usage. So I think facial expressions can lead you wrong.

amother

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 11:00 am

marina wrote:

omg, that's very scary. You make shidduchim essentially based on how people's faces look. Awful.

As a verryy proud Shituf of Hashem many many many times over, BORUCH HASHEM!!!!!!, I havent yet forced one couple to go down the aisle, and BORUCH HASHEM none of my couples have divorced.

I know I know, theyre probably all miserable and staying married because theyre looking to please their Shadchan and dont want to ruin her stats. Hee hee.

Simple1

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 11:43 am

You can tell something in the face.

But it's very possible to be wrong. I have seen quiet people mistaken for unintelligent; shy people mistaken for snobby ; and some people mistaken to be unkind and rude, when they are just rough around the edges or socially awkward. And as mentioned above, some abusive people are good at charming others.

marina

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 1:10 pm

Enjoy this fascinating article about how we ridiculously judge people based on their appearance.

Tinder is a dating app which lets you indicate - based on the person's photo only- whether you'd like to casually chat with that person. This research looks at what ultimately causes people to reject (swipe no) or accept (swipe yes) photos of potential dates.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/annehe.....ulwcb

It's a long article but interesting and on point to this dicussion.

yogabird

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 1:19 pm

debsey wrote:

Do you mean subliminal stimuli. Because someone who is trained well, such as a forensic pyschologist, can probably pick up the cues in sociopaths as well, in their body language that is apparent in the split-second before they put on their poker face or whatever-face again.

debsey

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 1:32 pm

yogabird wrote:

Yes. subliminal or unconscious reactions. Because most of us are NOT trained forensic psychologists (who by the way, do NOT use faces as their primary guide. Easier to lie with your face than it is to lie with your body language, according to the book)

dimyona

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 2:11 pm

marina wrote:

Thanks, this was fascinating. I saw this float by my Facebook earlier this week, and I'm glad I clicked now.