extremely challenging 4 year old. Where to turn for help?

amother

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 11:40 am

My 4 year old daughter has become extremely challenging. She gets some OT, but it doesn't seem to be helping at all. I think the root of her issues are sensory. What can I do? Is there any way I can help her?
She is just constantly destructing things, rolling on the ground, hurting other kids and just being impossible.
Pls advise.

Chayalle

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 11:52 am

What positive sensory activities do you give her to fulfill her sensory needs? If your DD needs sensory input and she is lacking it, it makes sense that she will be difficult.

Try to channel her needs. My parenting mentor told me to let my DD wash the dishes - yes, at age 4. (I rinsed them after). I would stand her on a stool and let her soap up and get all into the warm water and suds....it was better than having her climb (and scribble) the walls.

Play dough, an art box with lots of glue, scissors, water color paints, and supplies she can use in a designated area to make a mess (and clean up after herself, to a reasonable extent), bath activities (I bought DD bath soap paints, sponges, toys, etc...and she can spend quite a while in there....) lotions, etc...can all provide a stimulating experience to calm her.

From time to time we take a bucket of water and sponges, and DD helps me scrub all the walls in the house. She loves it! (yeah, she has a great future as an immaculate housekeeper B"EH).

Last week I divided 5 lbs. of Challah dough into 48 pieces and my DD (she's 6 now) rolled each one out pie crust style and then rolled them up, and helped me braid them (round basket weave style) for R"H. (The Tamar Ansch challah method.) She did a great job and it was actually a help, plus it used some of her tremendous energy and boosted her self-confidence. (Of course, we also wrote a mitzvah note to her Morah about it.)

I'm always looking for ways to stimulate my DD from a sensory viewpoint, because if I don't, she finds her own ways!

amother

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 12:18 pm

Thank you for your ideas. She loves water and sensory things but I can't trust her for a second alone. She'll squeeze the entire soap bottle into the sink, she'll flood my entire kitchen and counters, drawers etc. If I give her water to wash walls, in a matter of minutes, she'll be pouring it on her and anyone around her. Help. I just feel like crying thinking about it. I thank G-d for the hours she spends at school.

5*Mom

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 12:22 pm

I second that. If your child's issues are sensory based, then you need to read everything you can about sensory processing and become an expert in it. You need to be able to identify what types of sensory input she craves, as well as what types overstimulate her, and provide a balanced sensory diet. This is not something that can be "fixed" by OT once a week. It's a way of life until she can self-regulate or she outgrows it.

Recommended reading: The Out of Synch Child, Kranowitz and How Does Your Engine Run, Williams and Shellenberger.

amother

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 12:29 pm

I would ask your pediatrician about pandas. My son who has it was diagnosed at 4 years old and was acting very much like your child, aggressive, impulsive, and sensory. He was also sort of jumping out of his skin like you describe the rolling around on the floor... If your child does end up having high strep titres on the blood, all you will need is antibiotics... its worth it to check it out bh my pediatrician diagnosed its right away before we had to start going to therapists, psychologist etc