Israel wedding gift -how much cash

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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skcomputer

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 8:00 am

I have heard that at Israeli weddings, the cash gifts go to cover the wedding costs spent by the parents. My niece is getting married in November. I would like to give a cash gift to cover the costs of our attending (2 people), but I will also be either buying a gift for her while we are in Israel or bringing wedding gifts in my luggage. What is a typical gift amount for a run of the mill Israel wedding that would cover our costs?

chani8

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 8:53 am

My DD says 100 shekels is the norm for single Israeli girls to give.

I would think 150 nis per person is appropriate in your case.

freidasima

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 9:01 am

I don't agree as it depends on the wedding and on the society. In our circles it is normal to give at least 400 shekel for a couple and sometimes more. The "cheapies" give 300 shekel. Singles are a different story as they are often younger, not working well at their jobs yet etc. But an established married couple? Definitely not 100 shekel a person which for working people is considered really cheapo.

There are groups however where you go to a wedding a week and in those cases one is not expected to give so much. Also one is expected to give a lot more to a close family member. Again depends on your circles and how many neices you have. I have a friend who has 100 neices and nephews so that's a really different story, she won't be able to give much to any of them, having ten children herself and being one of eleven, all of her brothers and sisters are older and they all have nine to fourteen children apiece!

But..I venture to guess that's not what the OP is talking about. I know what we have given to my husband's first cousin's children, and what they have given to us, and I know what my children give their best friends etc....that is more like 500 to 600 shekel a couple...again we aren't a big family in terms of cousins so we are all very close. Depends how close you are with the bride and groom, what kinds of gifts you are going to bring from abroad etc. That also determines the total cost of what you are giving.

Sanguine

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 9:11 am

FS - you changed your story (maybe you had too many weddings lately). Serious Israelis expect the gift to pay for the meal (which I think is totally ridiculous). Israelis, Sfardim expect much bigger gifts. We're American and Ashkenazim (and poor) so we give 300-350 shekel usually, (for a niece we give 500). I don't give a larger gift for a more expensive affair. I don't feel I'm paying for the affair. I feel I'm an invited guest and I'm giving the young couple a gift.

chani8

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 9:20 am

Rich Americans should definitely give more. Plus expensive gifts. Wink

sprayonlove

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 10:12 am

When my husband and I go together to a wedding we give 400 shekels. If one of us goes alone we give 200 shekels.

Tablepoetry

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 10:15 am

Depends on circle, as you can see, but I would say usually 200-250 for a single, and 300-500 for a couple.....
In my circle 100 would be considered rather unusual. Even for bar/bat mitzvot I've only received 100 nis from kids, not from adult guests (adults who couldnt afford more simply bought a modest gift instead).

rachel91

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 10:19 am

We were at a wedding in Israel last week, since we didn't know about this concept, we bought a gift for 500 nis we would have given this amount in cash, if we wouldn't have bought something.

Sanguine

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 10:31 am

Tablepoetry wrote:

(adults who couldnt afford more simply bought a modest gift instead).

We used to do that cause we were giving on the cheaper side and a nice gift like a Shabbat urn seems nicer than 300 shekel. But the we decided that most couples prefer cash even if it's low. As I said, I don't feel like I have to pay for my meal. So why not give them what they can use? (cash)

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 11:29 am

Maybe the "rich american" is struggling to finish the month. The same way the "rich french" is not a milk cow.

Sanguine

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 11:32 am

Ruchel wrote:

Maybe the "rich american" is struggling to finish the month. The same way the "rich french" is not a milk cow.

They don't have to be really rich, but if Americans usually give $200 (just guessing) then when they visit Israel they can give that same amount that would be over 700 Shekel!! (remember, we said 500 shekel is a very generous gift)

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 11:34 am

Of course they should give as much as they would give abroad

mommy3b2c

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 11:48 am

Sanguine wrote:

Are you kidding? $200 dollars for a wedding? Normal is between $36-$50. If you are much closer, then maybe $100-$150. Maybe if its a fancier affair with fancy type people then most would give $100. Over $200 is if you are a very close aunt or something like that.

catonmylap

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 11:48 am

there's an online calculator that will tell you -- http://www.mitchatnim.co.il/kamakesef/

amother

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 11:59 am

mommy2b2c wrote:

I got married 5 yrs ago in NY. Many (most?) couples gave $150- 250.

Sanguine

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 12:05 pm

mommy2b2c wrote:

I'm talking a couple (that's also what I'm talking in Israel - A couple).

Raisin

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 12:09 pm

it really depends what the other gifts you are giving are worth. If you are shlepping an expensive mixer costing several hundred dollars I would think you can give much less.

In Israel don't people JUST give a monetary gift?

Sanguine

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 12:10 pm

amother wrote:

I got married 5 yrs ago in NY. Many (most?) couples gave $150- 250.

So that's what I said - $200 - for a couple. = 700 shekel - More than most people give - The "rich Americans" can cause that's what they always give (a couple)

mommy3b2c

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 3:04 pm

Sanguine wrote:

I'm talking a couple (that's also what I'm talking in Israel - A couple).

Im talking about if my husband and I go to a wedding we give $50 total. Not $50 per each of us. If im very close, I give more.

mommy3b2c

Tue, Sep 23 2014, 3:06 pm

amother wrote:

I got married 5 yrs ago in NY. Many (most?) couples gave $150- 250.

Maybe you associate with fancier people then I do. I assure you thats not the norm.

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