Would you call the cops on your neighbors

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amother

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 1:22 pm

Last night, at about 3 in the morning I heard screaming from the neighbors apartment. The wife kept screaming 'get away from me' and 'don't touch me' and the husband was responding with pretty abusive comments like 'I'll do whatever I want' and 'what are you gonna do to make me stop'...

I know it was none of my business but in my neighborhood we all kind of live on top of each other and I couldn't just ignore it. I was able to hear all of it through my bedroom window (which was closed!!). In the end I asked my husband to call the police who arrived literally 60 seconds later (which makes me think that I wasn't the first to call them about the same incident). The screaming went on for another hour at least, this time with the cops. I heard the police threaten to arrest the guy if he didn't shut up and stop touching his wife but I don't think he listened. In the end they escorted him outside and I was finally able to fall asleep.

I don't know what happened in the end, I never met my neighbors and I don't know anything about them so I'm not sure I did the right thing. Would you call the cops in such a situation?

out-of-towner

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 1:24 pm

Yes.

If C"V he would have killed her, would you have been able to live with yourself for not calling?

And anyway, they don't have to know that you were the one who called.

amother

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 1:26 pm

out-of-towner wrote:

Yes.

If C"V he would have killed her, would you have been able to live with yourself for not calling?

And anyway, they don't have to know that you were the one who called.

Depending on where this incident took place, they very well could be told who called, but that wasn't OP's concern.

SRS

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 1:27 pm

Uh yes I'd call. It is a neighborhood disturbance. On top of the fact that the wife should be able to get a good night's sleep without his torture, the rest of the neighbors should be able to sleep without this man's torture. Of course it is your business because they made it your business by invading your private space with their disturbance.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 1:42 pm

Would you stop children from kicking a puppy?

OF COURSE IT'S YOUR BUSINESS!

When I was being abused it was summer, and our windows were wide open. I know for a fact that you could hear me scream for blocks. No one ever called the police, even though I was praying desperately that someone would intervene and make it stop.

I secretly cursed each and every one of them for being so cold hearted. I'll never forget the feeling of being so completely alone in the universe. Knowing that people could hear me and didn't care made the abuse 100x worse. Crying

mille

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 1:46 pm

I HAVE called the cops in a very similar situation. If it were me, I would want my neighbors to do the same. If it's really nothing, the cops can sort that out...

exaustedmom

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 1:54 pm

You absolutely did the right thing!

ElTam

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 2:11 pm

Yes, you did the right thing. I have called the cops in similar situations, and I would do it again.

amother

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 2:16 pm

FranticFrummie, you aren't alone. We lived in an apartment building when I was a kid and I'm sure the neighbors heard the screaming and the beatings, but no one wanted to get involved. The feeling that you weren't worth saving is horrible. And I wonder how those people who lived next to us and did nothing look at themselves in the mirror.

amother

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 2:49 pm

If I were that woman, I'd be very grateful that a neighbor called the cops. The woman herself does not have the courage to do that, and I imagine the fear of retaliation by her husband....So having a neighbor call might have been very appreciated.

debsey

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 4:09 pm

OP - everyone seems to think it's a no-brainer to call the cops. I'm wondering why you are second guessing yourself? Are you worried that the husband will retaliate? uncomfortable around the wife? What's the question here? I feel like maybe we could help you with more if we knew more about your thought process........

amother

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 4:18 pm

debsey wrote:

I think OP has a halachic question which in that case is AYLOR.

singleagain

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 4:20 pm

amother wrote:

I think OP has a halachic question which in that case is AYLOR.

Where is the halachic question in the op?

amother

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 4:24 pm

singleagain wrote:

Where is the halachic question in the op?

If the neighbors are Jewish, then you need to ask your rov.

singleagain

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 4:26 pm

amother wrote:

If the neighbors are Jewish, then you need to ask your rov.

Why should that matter, it sounded like the husband was going to srsly hurt his wife. It's your responsibility to help if you can.

mummiedearest

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 4:26 pm

I have called the cops on neighbors who are jewish. they sounded like they were going to physically harm each other. sometimes you don't take time to ask a shaila.

amother

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 4:29 pm

singleagain wrote:

Why should that matter, it sounded like the husband was going to srsly hurt his wife. It's your responsibility to help if you can.

I agree with you. There are some that would never call even under those circumstances.

singleagain

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 4:34 pm

amother wrote:

I agree with you. There are some that would never call even under those circumstances.

I Cannot understand that attitude. What happened to "kol yisrael araviem " what abt "al tamod al da'am rayecha" why should fear stand in the way of someone's life?
I'm srsly trying to understand how anyone can justify not getting involved?

SRS

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 4:36 pm

If the OP is unsure about the halacha, she can go and ask the local Rav now since it will likely happen again. But really, when you have a bad neighbor like this, it is hard to know who is really in danger. . . her? (presumably), him? (I guess that is conceivable too), you? (well, if it happens regularly he is stealing your sleep and I would not want to approach an abuser and endanger my family).

ElTam

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 5:29 pm

Quote:

If the neighbors are Jewish, then you need to ask your rov.

Any rav who will say that if you hear someone being physically assaulted, you should ask a shailah before calling the police, I would never ask that rav any shailah again. Are you going to go to the levayah or the hospital and explain to the children, "So sorry I couldn't call the police; my rav wasn't answering his phone."?

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