Shabbos Birthday Party?

amother

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 5:22 am

Every year we throw our daughter a big birthday party with pizza and cake, etc.... We invite so many people and it's always a lot of work. Especially since her parties are always right after the yomim tovim. This year my head is just not in it. My daughter is turning 5 next week (the day before erev sukkos) and she will be having a birthday party in school. This year I was thinking of possibly doing a shabbos birthday party instead (the week after Yom tov). We have friends who recently did this for their daughter and it was so much cheaper and simpler than doing a huge party during the week. The party would only be for friends, not family, so that would also significantly cut down on the amount of people. My husband is not so on board with this idea because he wants to throw her a huge bash (like every year). Has anyone ever done shabbos birthday parties and can tell me the pros and cons of it? Thanks

Ruchel

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 5:28 am

Look, it has a potential for lots of mechallel. Mistakes, kids unable to resist whatever... many games are off limits, no candles on cake (would be totaly dealbreaker in my world) and also wondering now, can one cut a cake with writings on it?

Pineapple

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 5:34 am

Ruchel wrote:

Not every cake has words on it

You can have happy birthday written on a piece of chocolate

Last edited by Pineapple on Wed, Oct 01 2014, 5:34 am; edited 1 time in total

saw50st8

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 5:34 am

For 2nd birthdays (I find kids aren't so aware of their birthday at that point), we do a simple party. We get cookies or cupcakes or cake and invite 2-3 neighborhood friends for lunch or dessert and that's it.

Raisin

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 5:46 am

You can do a shabbo party quite easily. Plenty of games you can play on shabbos. There are def some limitations though... you will need to make the cake in a certain way. No mukztza prizes, games. But why not make a simple party just for her friends on a sunday? I've done that many times for my kids and its not hard. Simple food, cake. Midweek parties don't need to be fancy or have a huge guest list.

Rutabaga

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 7:00 am

DD has been invited to shabbos and Y"T parties. They were very nice and low key. One was a Succos party with just cake and nosh in the succah.

The Shabbos party was actually very clever. The mom made it into a tea party. She set the table beautifully and served the girls iced tea and pretty cupcakes and other "fancy" desserts. She read them a book about a tea party and they played some games that were appropriate for Shabbos.

Have you asked your daughter what she would like? She might have some good ideas for a Shabbos party or she might be very disappointed if she usually has a bigger bash.

mummiedearest

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 7:07 am

Ruchel wrote:

my rav holds you can cut the writing if it's edible.

redroses

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 7:49 am

I think it's a great idea. It's basically one big shabbos party. You can have tons of nosh, there are plenty of games you can play on shabbos, there are plenty of prizes you can give out for kids to take home if there is an eruv, just make sure there is no ripping or writing required.

As for the cake, you can have the writing on a piece of chocolate that you can just remove from the cake and it can be eaten after Shabbos.

Pros: Inexpensive, still a party, plenty of options
Cons: She might not get as many presents Smile

I honestly don't think that other people have high expectations when they go to someone else's birthday party, this seems more like an issue with your own expectations of yourself. Kids+nosh+games=fun, no matter how big or small it is.

Hope this helps.

Ruchel

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 7:53 am

Had totally forgotten the issue of presents... from bringing, to kids taking home pekelech if you do that, and to opening the presents! honestly now between this and the candles... It wouldn't work in my expectation of a low key but traditional birthday. Even as an adult I would be disappointed LOL

vicki

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 9:58 am

I think a Shabbos party is a great idea. With some thought you will find many, many fun Shabbos games to play.
The only down-side that I can offer is that it ends up being a bit "exclusive". Kids from the other side of town might feel left out and/or your daughter might be disappointed that great friends cannot attend because they live just too far to walk. Does she have very, very good friends that are not in walking distance?
At times, my kids have been disappointed to find out weeks later that a friend who was invited to her party and is considered a close friend did not invite my daughter to hers because it was on Shabbat and only the friends on her block were invited.
Then again, at 5 years old, the social aspect matters a bit less.