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Forum -> Children's Health
DD Teen bedwetter.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 5:35 pm
Hello,

I know this is really rare, but I really need help here, my DD 16, started to wet her bed.

At first she was trying to hide it, But one morning I caught her red handed, (yellow handed...lol) and she freaked out, I remained calm, and I told her its ok, accidents happen, she shouldn't worry about it, And I saw she was very embarrassed and I didnt wanna make a big deal out of it, I just told her to take a shower, she shouldnt worry.
we didnt talk about it after, she just threw her stuff in the hamper.

The next day I was doing laundry, (from the past 3 days) and there you go...I found a few dirty undies and her pjs in the hamper, I was kinda shocked, I didnt know how to approach her, if at all, so I decided to walk in on her the next morning, so I did, and she was still sleeping, but it was late for school, so I woke her, and she right away still half asleep checked her self, and she opened her eyes and realized im there, and she was like making sure shes all covered....

so I asked her if everything is ok, she was like...yeah, so I asked her how long is this going on, she was shocked that I knew, (moms find everything.... Wink ). and shes a bad liar...so she told me this is going on for a few days now, I was very concerned and upset of her not telling me,but I understood her trying to hide it, I wouldt be different...

so I told her its ok, but its not so common, at least to happen out of the blue, so I told her il make her an appointment to the dr. this could be very serious, diabetes or a kidney problem ch"v she didnt wanna go, but I convinced her, she went to a urologist (first to our fam dr) dr made all kinds of tests and asked all kind of questions, the results came back that its not a physical problem bh, its a psychological problem coming from stress, (her friend passed away recently)

And shes currently seeing a therapist for the stress issue, but the dr and the therapist made it very clear that this issue will take some time to go away, we have to be very patient and relaxed, it will go away.
I asked the therapist what means some time, she told me months, maybe even a year!!!
we weren't very happy with the news but I was happy that its nothing major (physical) bh,

So here is my/our problem, the wetting obliviously continued, and its happening almost every night if not every.... embarrassed and it came to a situation where I was really frustrated, (im sure she too) plus everything was getting ruined, mattress, her clothes etc.

I really didnt know what to do, so I checked out online the options, and I bumped in to a website depends for women its called, and they had all different kinds of solutions to protect the bed..... (I knew about this company because of some prev issues with my self after birth) the reviews were fantastic so I ordered one pack called Depend® for Women Underwear
with FIT-FLEX™ Protection, http://www.depend.com/womens-s.....9558, and I also called to consult with her therapist if I should do it, she said well this is a great idea to avoid mess and embarrassing but my daughter might refuse to wear it, so I should be gentle.

anyway, 2 days later I got the pack and it looked like reg undies but an absorbing type, but ya know.....its still kinda uhm..baby'ish, but I knew I have no other choice,

so that night I asked her to come to my room before bed, and we had a talk about the whole bedwetting issue, and I saw that shes also very frustrated with the every morning mess, so thats when I told her that I got a solution for her, she gave me that look, like is it what I think it is....?? but I didnt let her think a lot..I showed her the pack I bought, she was blushing, she was pretty embarrassed, she told me shes to old for that, its not for her age blah blah....so we talked and talked, I explained her that its only for overnight, no one would know, and its not even a diaper, it doesn't even look like one....bottom line after a long talk she agreed to it.

so I ordered a few more packs, and was hoping for the best...like a week later I noticed her sheets are stained again, so I asked her what happened, she told me she wears it every night, but sometimes it leaks, so I called up the company to ask why it leaks, and they explained me that this is more for during the day, (elderly people) not for overnight, for overnight they have another product, without hesitation I ordered the overnight one, and I told my daughter not to worry because this was just not the right product, so a few days later I got the new one and little did I know what I ordered, I called my dd before bed to give her the new one, and I opened it up to see what its like, and gosh my dd flipped out, it was a regular diaper, like with straps on the side, not 1, nor 3 on each side, looked so bad, oh! and to makes things worse it comes with wetness indicator...whatever something really embarrassing for her,

BUT what do I do now? she of course refused to wear it and I dont blamer her, (but it bothers me) now we are back to square 1, bed is wet laundry and all...im upset on the situation, and shes upset too, should I try again with the diaper idea, should I try to convince her? dont even know how.....

Please advise asap!

Thanks
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 6:09 pm
Ask your daughter's therapist if you can put her on Desmopressin. If the issue is psychological and likely to go away by itself, it might be a good solution.
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 6:16 pm
Wow, that is so sad for her, and for you. Can you set an alarm to wake her during the night so she goes to the bathroom then? Also a plastic mattress protector will at least save her mattress. I really hope this goes away quickly, how mortifying for her.
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sneakermom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 7:26 pm
Maybe set an alarm for some time in the middle of the night so she could empty her bladder.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 7:32 pm
Have you told her that you had the same problem for a while? I find it helps if someone knows that you've dealt with the exact same thing.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 8:17 pm
I know that you say it's psychological and not physical, but is your dd water logging? Google anorexia and water logging.
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anotherima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 8:52 pm
I would go to a top urologist and get a second opinion and see if the problem is physical.
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PAMOM




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 9:16 pm
First, your poor daughter. The stress must be horrible. Next, poor mother because you can't fix this although you've done everything right. There are really nice waterproof mattress covers that look like regular ones. I got mine and bed bath and beyond. They're cheap-- get 3. Get some inexpensive sheets -- several sets. Get some chucks at the drug store and tell dd to put one on her bed each night. Would it make her feel better if you told her just to strip the bed when she needs to and stick the stuff in the washer without even saying anything to you? Would she feel more in control?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 10:43 pm
Would it help if she just wore pads overnite? Like the super heavy after birth ones. She can even wear two.
I'm thinking it might not be enough though.

And I agree with the idea of having her wake up in middle of the night to go to the bathroom. OR she should be not allowed to drink after a certain time in the evening.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 11:06 pm
OP Here,

First, Thanks everyone for the ideas and for trying to help,

So, Desmpressin is not an option, I asked this in the begining, And regarding the alarm we discussed that too, the therapist told me to try the alarm which did, but it didn't work, she's a deep sleeper and we she did wake up she was already wet and she had a hard time falling back asleep causing her to be the next day sleepy, so I tried waking her up in the middle of the night, but she didn't like it, she wasn't comfy, also I asked her to cut on fluids in the evening, which she nderstands, but when I reminded her in the evening she was like, can you please stop, she told me that she feels like being potty trained again....

And yes, I already put a mattress cover, it helps the mattrass, but not her blanket, underwear, pjs etc, the mess is still there, and of cousre pads wouldn't be enough if the depends didn't work.

I'm so lost.

Had anyone experienced the same? Or know of a similar situation how it was dealt with?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 11:47 pm
I was bed wetting well into my teens (didn't happen suddenly though)
I hated the alarm bc like you said, it only rang when I was already wet. Plus I was very embarrassed that my whole family was able to hear every time it rang.
What did work, was a nasal spray - one spritz in each nostril - but it was an uncomfortable feeling so my doctor gave some pills - one every night and that worked well. I took the tablet for a long time and eventually when I stopped, I wasn't wetting myself anymore on a regular basis 'just' about once a year and both Seder nights -all the sugary grape juice and the wine. Bh I've been completely dry for about 4 yrs now (I still get nervous every pesach and go to the toilet about 10 times before going to sleep;)
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st1000




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 11:52 pm
amother wrote:
I was bed wetting well into my teens (didn't happen suddenly though)
I hated the alarm bc like you said, it only rang when I was already wet. Plus I was very embarrassed that my whole family was able to hear every time it rang.
What did work, was a nasal spray - one spritz in each nostril - but it was an uncomfortable feeling so my doctor gave some pills - one every night and that worked well. I took the tablet for a long time and eventually when I stopped, I wasn't wetting myself anymore on a regular basis 'just' about once a year and both Seder nights -all the sugary grape juice and the wine. Bh I've been completely dry for about 4 yrs now (I still get nervous every pesach and go to the toilet about 10 times before going to sleep;)


op here,

So what's the name of that spray? And until it worked what did you wear to bed?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 02 2014, 11:56 pm
I wet my bed my first summer of sleepaway camp. I was so embarrassed. I never told anyone. I would change my pajamas in the middle of the night and go right back to sleep in my damp sleeping bag. I guess I was lucky that I didn't retain as much fluid as your daughter seems to.

Eventually the problem just went away as I got more comfortable in camp. I assume it was stress related. I've never had a problem with bed wetting again.

Your daughter is probably mortified. Be supportive but not intrusive. Let her deal with her own laundry so she has some privacy. Let her know that you're there if she needs anything or wants to talk about it, but otherwise leave it alone. You said she's in therapy already, so hopefully she'll deal with whatever is troubling her and the bed wetting will resolve itself.
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st1000




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 12:01 am
amother wrote:
I wet my bed my first summer of sleepaway camp. I was so embarrassed. I never told anyone. I would change my pajamas in the middle of the night and go right back to sleep in my damp sleeping bag. I guess I was lucky that I didn't retain as much fluid as your daughter seems to.

Eventually the problem just went away as I got more comfortable in camp. I assume it was stress related. I've never had a problem with bed wetting again.

Your daughter is probably mortified. Be supportive but not intrusive. Let her deal with her own laundry so she has some privacy. Let her know that you're there if she needs anything or wants to talk about it, but otherwise leave it alone. You said she's in therapy already, so hopefully she'll deal with whatever is troubling her and the bed wetting will resolve itself.


That's exactly what I'm doing, I'm giving her privacy, but I on the other hand I care, I know how she feels, and I see what she's going thru every morning, it's hard for her and for me, everything is getting ruined.
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Rubber Ducky




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 12:14 am
Try lining the Depends with a heavy-duty sanitary pad. it will absorb a lot more liquid that way and she won't feel like she's wearing a diaper.
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st1000




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 12:22 am
Rubber Ducky wrote:
Try lining the Depends with a heavy-duty sanitary pad. it will absorb a lot more liquid that way and she won't feel like she's wearing a diaper.


Op here

So you think that wearing a diaper to bed is a good idea? In this situation.
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Jeanette




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 12:31 am
st1000 wrote:
op here,

So what's the name of that spray? And until it worked what did you wear to bed?


the spray is the same medication as the pills (desmopressin) but they stopped prescribing it in the spray form for bedwetting because of a higher risk of overdose.

Basically desmopressin is a synthetic form of the hormone that your brain produces to tell the kidneys to conserve water. Taking it before bedtime will cut down on urine production overnight. But overdose ch'v can be dangerous if you retain too much water.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 12:34 am
amother wrote:
I was bed wetting well into my teens (didn't happen suddenly though)
I hated the alarm bc like you said, it only rang when I was already wet. Plus I was very embarrassed that my whole family was able to hear every time it rang.
What did work, was a nasal spray - one spritz in each nostril - but it was an uncomfortable feeling so my doctor gave some pills - one every night and that worked well. I took the tablet for a long time and eventually when I stopped, I wasn't wetting myself anymore on a regular basis 'just' about once a year and both Seder nights -all the sugary grape juice and the wine. Bh I've been completely dry for about 4 yrs now (I still get nervous every pesach and go to the toilet about 10 times before going to sleep;)


My son is 12 and still bedwets, he has been on desmopressin for about a year and a half now. Every time we tried to wean him off he'd go right back to wetting. I really don't want him on the pills long term but at this point he is scared to go off them and start wetting again.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 12:38 am
I don't mean to hijack ur post, but I'm going thru a similar challenge with my 14 year old son. This is not sudden. It's been on & off for years. I'm really concerned. I've discussed this with my doc many times, who doesn't seemed as concerned. He says to give it time. I tried the alarm, he doesn't hear it..
Still looking for a solution.
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st1000




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 12:38 am
Op here,

Therapist advised not to use Desmpressin. Sad
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