Busy with Kids this Yom Kippur? Read This!

mazal555

Fri, Oct 03 2014, 11:53 am

Busy with Kids this Yom Kippur? Read This!
http://jewishmom.com/2014/10/0.....this/
Posted by JewishMom on Oct 1, 2014 in Featured | 8 comments
Busy with Kids this Yom Kippur? Read This!
Not going to be spending much time, or any time at all in shul this Yom Kippur? A bit disappointed to be spending the most lofty day of the year stuck at home with young kids breaking up fights, changing diapers, and passing out bamba?

Listen to this…

The great Rabbi Elya Lopian zts”l taught that while the rest of the Jewish people is in shul praying, we mothers of young children should not feel the slightest bit disappointed that we spend this day focused on physical tasks rather than in the elevated atmosphere of the synagogue.

Rabbi Lopian taught: “Women who are at home during the High Holidays, busy caring for their children, don’t need the atmosphere and all of the prayers that are said in synagogue, since their prayers rise upward through a pipeline that goes directly to the Throne of Glory. And with the few words they’re able to daven, they are brought as close to the Throne of Glory as all the people who are standing for long hours, begging and pleading.” (Translated from Avodas HaTefillah V’Hamussar b’Mishnasah shel Kelm)

If you are a mother of young children, and dedicate your holiday to caring for them and your family’s needs, then the few minutes of prayer you say on your living room sofa are as valuable in Heaven as a rabbi’s 3-hour Amida in synagogue.

And remember: if you feel like your children are getting in the way of your serving Hashem this Yom Kippur…

Rabbi Brezak teaches: “Children don’t get in the way, they ARE the way.”

And let’s finish off with a story I just received from JewishMOM Chaya Cohen:

There once was a king who made a ceremony in honor of his birthday.

All day, he sat on his throne receiving his citizens’ well wishes. Each was rewarded for his or her visit in accordance with the king’s respect for that subject.

In the line stood the nanny of the prince, the king’s son.

When her turn came, everyone waited to hear what reward she would receive, as the king surely valued her role immensely.

But when the nanny came before the king, before she could speak, the king said to her: “If you are here, WHO is watching my son?!?”

I have a friend, a mother of 9, who shares this story every Yom Kippur as she watches her children from the neighborhood park bench. She says, “when my turn in judgment comes this Yom Kippur, all I know is I will be able to say that I spent this holy day watching Your children.”

Gemar Chatima Tova, JewishMOM!

debsey

Fri, Oct 03 2014, 2:55 pm

Barbara wrote:

And I hate it.

Its patting you on the head and saying, "now, now, dear. don't you trouble that pretty little head of yours with things like prayer. you just go on and watch the kids, and leave the important things to us men."

Jeanette wrote:

Now, now, dears
don't worry about a thing like who's going to watch the children while you're praying and fasting
Just run along to the synagogue and leave the important stuff to us women.

PS: It's long been my belief that women invented shul prayer to get the men out from under their feet.

As these two quotes demonstrate, it depends on your viewpoint. Prayer is important. Public, communal prayer is important for men. Private, individual prayer is important for women. And I think the article is saying - taking care of children IS a form of prayer, in the sense that prayer is "avodah sh'bilev" - the work of the heart - and so is parenting.
I don't think going to shul is inherently more holy that davening at home. And it doesn't matter what I think - it matters what G-d thinks. According to these rabbis, who know better than I what G-d thinks (by virtue of their years of study) - this is true.
So as frustrating as the multi-tasking of trying to daven with kids around is - we're doing the job the King gave us.
Thanks for the post - I printed it and I'm going to look at it for inspiration on Y"K.
G'mar Chasima Tova, everyone!

dr. pepper

Fri, Oct 03 2014, 3:01 pm

debsey wrote:

Liking this wasn't enough.
I just don't get why people insist on reading things as a constant "we're better" kind of theme.
Why can't it just be chizuk to continue doing what we already know is important. Having NOTHING to do with what my husband will be doing this Yom Kippur. It's not connected to him at all. He has his way of connecting to Hashem on this day; as do I. In a world of sheker and confusion...such chizuk is greatly appreciate.
Period.
Gmar tov to all and may we all find ourselves a fulfilling and meaningful (and easy!) Yom Kippur.

little_mage

Fri, Oct 03 2014, 3:12 pm

Barbara wrote:

I saw this on facebook earlier. It bothered me, but I was having trouble articulating why. After thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that this is exactly how it makes me feel as well.

Honestly, especially on RH and YK, I struggle with not being able to go to shul. I'm sure that part of it is growing up reform, where so much of Jewish expression centers on what is happening in the synagogue. It was a hard shift to find meaning outside of the formalized prayers, and for me, there's still a lot of meaning and value in them. I might be unusual, but I find it hard to pray spontaneously. With two young children at home, including a nursing infant, sadly I'm mainly seeing tomorrow as something to get through. That isn't the way I want to think of the holiest day of the year, but it's really hard to do otherwise.

debsey

Fri, Oct 03 2014, 4:10 pm

little_mage wrote:

I hear u, little mage! I'm nervous for tomorrow too because it;s hard to daven and fast. Can you work on mindfulness and kavanah when you care for your kids? Saying to Hashem each time "I'm doing this act of childcare right now as a service to You? Prayer is a form of mindfulness, after all.
I wish you a meaningful fast.
G'mar Chasima Tova.

Bitachon101

Sat, Oct 04 2014, 11:44 pm

Beautiful. Wish I had time to read this BEFORE yk but now is good too! I surprisingly got to daven some at my personal kosel Wink

but much of the day was spent bonding with the kiddies, feeding, bathroom trips, (thank u Hashem no accidents today!), reading books, building sukkahs with blocks tht fell over too many times for a 3 yr olds patience, teaching the kids not to fight but to share, explaining that mommy couldnt eat when they wanted to share with me much to their dismay, bopping balls across the house, etc.... I thought it would be a miserable yk. But BH it was all positive. (OK, except when I had to stop shmone esrey in mid neilah to see why the baby was crying and my 3 yt old laughing... To find that they em ptied the clean folded laundry all over the floor and were "mushing" it as my son so eloquently said and then the baby fell down in the process.... I couldn't talk but oh did I give Mr wise guy a look of disapproval!) After I finished neila I was on a high that at least I bonded with the kids and they behaved decent.

I was always a shul goer as a teen. Shabbos yt etc and I have a hard time "connecting" without the external push that u get from shul and I miss it so much all these years but Hashem knows I'm watching his kids.... I love the marshal (tho I'd never have chosen nanny as a profession) Wink