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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances
Those whose husbands make $200,000 or more, what do they do?
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 12:54 pm
I just read the thread:

If youre husband made $250.000

http://www.imamother.com/forum.....ight=

and I gather quite a few husbands make more than $200,000.

May I ask (you can answer anonymously)

1-What your husbands do (those who make upwards of $200,000)?

2-Were his earnings made possible by his degree?

3-Was it more hard work or luck, in your opinion, or a combination?

4-Is your husband a unique go-getter or laid back, or medium?

Shana Tova!

TIA
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ROFL




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 12:56 pm
Can we add do you make more than 200000. And with the same questions.
To respond I don't make 200000 and neither does my husband
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 1:30 pm
my dh makes a little bit more than that . He's a Doctor. Bh
1- yes he went to medical school
2-extremely hard work
3-he is not a go getter- I would say a responsible laid back person. who loves medicine.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 1:32 pm
He's a doctor. 4 years of college, 4 years of med school, 3 years of residency, 3 years of fellowship in his specialty. We lived at a very low standard for those years, I raised our kids alone, didn't matter if I was 9 months pregnant or two days postpartum....and after all of that we earn what we earn. We are, BH, happy and healthy. But he still works much more than the average husband and I am still often alone, even on shabbos.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 1:43 pm
amother wrote:
He's a doctor. 4 years of college, 4 years of med school, 3 years of residency, 3 years of fellowship in his specialty. We lived at a very low standard for those years, I raised our kids alone, didn't matter if I was 9 months pregnant or two days postpartum....and after all of that we earn what we earn. We are, BH, happy and healthy. But he still works much more than the average husband and I am still often alone, even on shabbos.

Is/was it worth it? Are your 200k+ yours or do you have debt from the school years?
Asking because DH is thinking of this. The income is a big part of the appeal but I feel the sacrifices outweigh it. But of course there are also the personal reasons for wanting to be a dr.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 1:52 pm
Is it worth it? Yes. His work is very meaningful and he has great job security. He will not earn this much in ten years the way the health care system is going though.

We have minimal school debt we are paying off, slowly just because the interest rate is so low. If he had to take it all out in loans? Not sure we would have done it.

I think there are very few fields that pay so high without a lot of hard work, long hours, higher schooling. Unless you just get lucky (business takes off etc)
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 1:52 pm
Bank fraud and real estate schemes

I'll enjoy the money till he's caught and goes to jail
Then I'll move on
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 2:01 pm
He got a degree in a service field related to real estate/construction, then built up a big firm in that field.

He's ambitious, a go getter, and a risk taker. He also had exceptional communication skills.

He's Chasidish, and he says that going to college despite everyone's protests is what contributed significantly to his success.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 2:06 pm
I was amother who made 200 and DH 140. Lawyer and engineer. $$ only going up up up in the future.

Both hard work, sacrifice, go getters, driven, goal oriented, serious.

Luck? Not unless you count being born intelligent lucky. Our families didn't pay for college or grad school, we worked through and took loans. Not emotionally supportive either, and no family help with our kids. We didn't mess around and we always worked together. We never spent frivolously on clothes, fancy cars etc. our $$ always went back into investing in our kids (having them, taking good care of them, choosing good schools).

But the $$ wasn't worth the sacrifice of family time (we literally only had shabbos with our family) and the impact on our kids (we have a larger family for MO). Now that I'm not working, everyone is happier, our house is clean and organized (by me), we eat healthier. We live on a third of our former income and kids are on scholarship now.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 2:09 pm
Owns and manages commercial real estate.

DH is pretty low key. He has great people skills, but he's not a big shmoozer or what you would call outgoing. Just a nice guy who gets things done.

He does have an MBA, which definitely helped when he was breaking into the field.
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Jeanette




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 2:18 pm
amother wrote:
Bank fraud and real estate schemes

I'll enjoy the money till he's caught and goes to jail
Then I'll move on


Not sure if you're serious or tongue in cheek
or trying to make a point.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 2:27 pm
Quote:
Bank fraud and real estate schemes
I'll enjoy the money till he's caught and goes to jail
Then I'll move on



Jeanette wrote:
Not sure if you're serious or tongue in cheek
or trying to make a point.


Dream on! Crime of all sorts is happenning among us!!!!

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com......html
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 2:29 pm
amother wrote:
I was amother who made 200 and DH 140. Lawyer and engineer. $$ only going up up up in the future.

Both hard work, sacrifice, go getters, driven, goal oriented, serious.

Luck? Not unless you count being born intelligent lucky. Our families didn't pay for college or grad school, we worked through and took loans. Not emotionally supportive either, and no family help with our kids. We didn't mess around and we always worked together. We never spent frivolously on clothes, fancy cars etc. our $$ always went back into investing in our kids (having them, taking good care of them, choosing good schools).

But the $$ wasn't worth the sacrifice of family time (we literally only had shabbos with our family) and the impact on our kids (we have a larger family for MO). Now that I'm not working, everyone is happier, our house is clean and organized (by me), we eat healthier. We live on a third of our former income and kids are on scholarship now.


Do you think that its fair to ask that others pay your children's tuition (via scholarship) when you are able to do so, but have chosen not to?

Would you consider it appropriate for the school to say that it is taking into account your earning potential, and refusing to give you financial assistance? Or taking into account your greater earning potential, and basing financial need on a $200,000 income, since you could have the same impact on your family by your husband staying home?

Do you feel that another family in which both parents are working full time in order to earn the income generates $140,000, should be entitled to more assistance than you are?

Do you think that another family where both parents work and make what you used to make should get financial assistance, since the only difference between you and them is that you decided not to work?

Not suggesting the answers, simply posing the question.

By they way, though, you're not living on 1/3 of the income that you used to live on, you're just taking a chunk of the money from someone else, through scholarship.

ETA that I know of at least one school that would take your prior income into account, and deny financial aid.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 3:11 pm
To the amother who just posted above with her questions to the woman who stopped working, I think that your questions are fair, but they are just as fair as questioning a million other decisions people make- how many kids they should have, what degree to pursue, etc. These are complicated questions without real answers or perhaps the real answer is that the expectation of private education is just not realistic for the Jewish community unless something big changes. Why should this woman have to work if it's not good for the emotional well being of her family? Should everyone be forced to get jobs as lawyers and doctors so that they can pay full-tuition even if it's not what they are interested in doing. I don't think so! Obviously, there's a lot of luck/mazel that is needed to make a good salary, but it's likely that a couple where one is pursuing a social work degree and one is in special education isn't going to be able to afford to pay full tuition for a bunch of children. Should we ban people from pursuing those careers? Do you think that the social work/special ed couple shouldn't get a scholarship since they chose those low paying careers?

To the original OP, my husband and I are young so we aren't making that type of money but I have a father who does. My father works extremely hard. He is a doctor but also does business. My mother has always worked and even though my parents make a lot of money their expenses were huge, so there wasn't a lot left over after tuition, tzedeka, and regular living expenses. I didn't grow up feeling wealthy at all. I don't think my parents consider themselves wealthy. I think they feel that they can afford what they need and some extras, but nothing over the top. I think it took my father a while to actually make a salary that was enough for our growing family. I believe he took out loans to help pay for tuition in his early years as a doctor.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 4:10 pm
I see this thread is being answered by a high number of wives of doctors. My husband also did college, med school and then 6 more years of training. He did and does work very hard. I worked hard through med school and residency, working and being the on-call parent (he of course was on call). I was very happy to "retire" to being a sahm when he got his first attending job. Technically, we could have taken out tons of loans while he was in training. Since we hate loans (me especially), we lived very frugally. It's nice to not have to, but we are trying to raise our children in a lifestyle that they too can maintain one day, even if they don't become high paying professionals. The main exceptions to our frugality is some travel and for sure, education.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 4:16 pm
Dh is a lawyer.
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rikki!




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 4:37 pm
amother wrote:
Bank fraud and real estate schemes

I'll enjoy the money till he's caught and goes to jail
Then I'll move on


You must love your husband dearly. What a lucky guy Rolling Eyes
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 4:40 pm
amother wrote:
Do you think that its fair to ask that others pay your children's tuition (via scholarship) when you are able to do so, but have chosen not to?

Would you consider it appropriate for the school to say that it is taking into account your earning potential, and refusing to give you financial assistance? Or taking into account your greater earning potential, and basing financial need on a $200,000 income, since you could have the same impact on your family by your husband staying home?

Do you feel that another family in which both parents are working full time in order to earn the income generates $140,000, should be entitled to more assistance than you are?

Do you think that another family where both parents work and make what you used to make should get financial assistance, since the only difference between you and them is that you decided not to work?

Not suggesting the answers, simply posing the question.

By they way, though, you're not living on 1/3 of the income that you used to live on, you're just taking a chunk of the money from someone else, through scholarship.

ETA that I know of at least one school that would take your prior income into account, and deny financial aid.


Maybe Im being sensitive but I am no generally soft spoken and still thought this came off very harsh Confused

Also; in this logic everyone who is not incapable of working should be charged full tuition-u and ur husband should have gone to med school and be able to afford it, u chose no to... so what if u had twins plus two special needs kids under the age of five, I know moms of quads that still worked etc etc

Earning potential for each person is very hard to quantify so it is not something we can base aid on .... this makes aid quite controversial ethically in terms of who deserves it etc... if I dont work than I can be on scholarship and have them same amount of money ... (not gonna get into govt aid discussion since its OT but this principle applies there too
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 4:54 pm
Robotics automation engineer, and yes u need a degree for it .
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 03 2014, 5:14 pm
My dh has a masters in computer/electrical engineering. For someone who is good at math this is a great field since the training isnt as long as law/med school, the job is better hours and well paying bH.
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