How do I trust again after trust being broken?

amother

Tue, Oct 07 2014, 6:12 am

And I mean BROKEN. I've been betrayed. I don't trust easily and this left me so broken. I feel like my life is ruined. I don't think I'll ever feel safe, trust or be happy again.

Motherlee

Tue, Oct 07 2014, 6:14 am

Therapy.

Therapy, therapy, therapy.

33055

Tue, Oct 07 2014, 6:26 am

amother wrote:

And I mean BROKEN. I've been betrayed. I don't trust easily and this left me so broken. I feel like my life is ruined. I don't think I'll ever feel safe, trust or be happy again.

Time helps. Sometimes you will never trust as fully again.

amother

Tue, Oct 07 2014, 9:22 am

OP, I'm in the same boat. I'm the amother from around a month ago whose DH finally came clean to me that he's been viewing & m@sturbating to p@rn for the majority of our long marriage. This was shocking to me b/c I am also not quick to trust people but my DH was the one guy I completely trusted & felt we had the most open & honest relationship.

It is difficult to rebuild trust & does not happen overnight but it helps if the one who betrayed your trust seems sincerely remorseful for all the pain that he has caused you. Currently, my DH is seeking therapy from an addiction counselor b/c he realizes that he had an addiction (it took him a few weeks to realize that it was in fact an addiction b/c it was easier to be in denial about the extent of his problem) & he is willing to go for help to repair our marriage. Even though it is tough for me, knowing that he is truly regretting his actions goes a long way in helping me learn to trust him again.

I read somewhere that being willing to trust again is helpful for the one who was betrayed. Not sure OP how your trust was betrayed but if it was by your DH, it probably will make a difference as to how sincere he is about acknowledging that he has a problem. I have made the decision to trust again but I can only do that if I see that my DH is taking the appropriate steps to prevent his addiction from recurring.

I hope that we will both learn to trust again & that our trust will not be shattered once again!

amother

Tue, Oct 07 2014, 11:45 am

HUGS.....HUGS. Awful. Been there, and DH not doing well now but I know to trust my gut and not deny and think he's fine.

He goes to SA. We both go to individual therapy as well as marriage therapy. I also am in touch with many sanon women who help me.

Listen to your inner voice. Learn to trust yourself first and then you'll have a chance of trusting him.

amother

Tue, Oct 07 2014, 11:57 am

I got divorced from my ex because of the lies and broken trust. It was hard but now I'm happily married bH. I will say that I have no tolerance for dishonesty in my life now and honesty was a big factor for me in dating.

chani8

Tue, Oct 07 2014, 2:34 pm

I'm so sorry your trust was broken, OP. You sound devastated.