Would I be justified in replacing this cleaning lady?

amother

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 10:37 am

I'm having trouble with my cleaning lady- she decides what she can and can't do. Like, she will do my laundry, but not fold it and put it away. THe thing is, and I have told her before, I need the opposite- it's easy for me to throw in a load of laundry, it is the folding and putting away hat takes a lot of time and what I need help with. Also, she keeps putting toys away in the playroom, even though I tell her no, that is the kids' job to do (and if they don't, that room doesn't get vacuumed until they do). But she spends the time and effort doing it anyway (to avoid putting away the laundry maybe?) Also, I don't usually have her do the guest room but I was having guests for YT, so I asked her to prepare it- and she said no, she can't. I work f/t, so it is very important to me that I get help where I feel I need it. I'm thinking of replacing my cleaning lady because she's really not making my life easier and refusing to take care of things I need her to take care of, but when I've told her I need X done, she just says no cleaner would do that, it is not reasonable to expect a cleaner to do that. So- is she right? Or will someone else be willing to the the chores that I need done?

amother

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 11:13 am

ra_mom wrote:

Yes, you would be justified.
A cleaner is there to help you. As long as you're not asking her to do degrading work every week, she should be doing as asked.

What is degrading work? And who should do it if not the cleaning lady?

My cleaning lady cleans my toilets. She cleans behind my stoves and refrigerator. She does all the heavy cleaning. She cleans most of the grime.

She is a cleaning lady. That is what they do - clean. Almost every person users their cleaning lady to do the heavy work.

OP your house. Your rules. Get someone who will listen.

Ema of 5

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 11:29 am

amother wrote:

Anything that you wouldn't do yourself is degrading work. It means you feel it's below you. Is your cleaning lady not a person, that there is nothing that would be degrading for her to do? If you wouldn't sit on your knees scrubbing between tiles with a toothbrush, then you should not be asking your cleaning lady to do it. If I had the time and the energy I wouldn't need a cleaning lady. But I don't have neither te time nor the energy to take care of my house full time. So I have a cleaning lady. I don't ask her to do anything that I wouldn't do. She is no less of a person than I am, even though she works for me. Are you less of a person than your boss because you work for him/her?

Ema of 5

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 11:31 am

SRS wrote:

Her job is to serve you. Your job is to give her adequate instruction and to of course pay her a fair rate on time. Sounds like it is time to find a new person to serve you.

Unless she's a servant, her job is not to SERVE you. Her job is to do what you ask her to do. Your job is to ask her in a mentchlich way to do the things you need her to do.

Ema of 5

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 11:38 am

OP to answer your question, if you keep asking her to not/do certain things and she is still not/doing them then there is no reason why you need to feel an obligation to continue to employ her. As with any other job, if she cannot do the job required, she cannot have the job.

SRS

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 11:47 am

eema of 3 wrote:

Unless she's a servant, her job is not to SERVE you. Her job is to do what you ask her to do. Your job is to ask her in a mentchlich way to do the things you need her to do.

Serve/service are not bad words. If one is a babysitter, they serve their customer. If one is a doctor, they serve the patient. Service is a pleasure and an honor. We aren't talking about servant in terms of slave, we are talking about a hired employee who is making her livelihood from service. An employee who doesn't seek to serve his boss will be an unemployed person. There is no obligation to provide a job. The employer provides the job because they need something done. Same here.

mummiedearest

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 11:59 am

mrs. x, I wanted to let you know we will no longer be needing your services. thank you for all your hard work. here's a small bonus to show our appreciation.

if she gives you a hard time, just repeat, "we no longer need your services."

amother

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 12:39 pm

eema of 3 wrote:

I don't think that is makes sense. If I want my to. floors cleaned with a toothbrush, then I have every right to pay for this whether I am disabled or busy or I don't want to. If you don't want to clean, then don't be hired to be a cleaner. The cleaner is there for the owners convenience.

marina

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 1:09 pm

I hire a contractor to remodel my house. If the contractor opts to only work on the projects he or she wants to do, instead of what I hired the contractor for, I will get a new contractor.

The above is assuming that you clearly spelled out your expectations at the start. If not, you need to do that now.

Raisin

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 5:38 pm

I once hired a babysitter to babysit while I worked and do light housework. She refused to do certain things since she considered them beneath her or whatever. Luckily I had another cleaner who did do those things. Eventually she moved on on her own but I don't think I could have kept a cleaner like that long term. Nothing is beneath me, sadly I don't have the time, inclination or desire to do it all.

Otherwise none of my cleaners have point blank refused to do things, however sometimes are forgetful and do stuff wrong.

Clarissa

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 5:48 pm

Some cleaning women are given way to much to do in their allotted time, and we have to be cognizant of that. It’s fine to write lists or ask for certain things to be done, but only if it’s humanly possible to do everything we ask. Also, if there’s something someone really hates doing, I’m willing to listen. When I worked in offices there were certain things I said no to, within reason.

I had a cleaning woman who stole cash from me. Then I had one who was fantastic at cleaning but left me in the lurch. I now have one who’s really honest, but she’s not a brilliant cleaner. I don’t care. I like her, she’s honest and she does a decent job.

amother

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 7:20 pm

You can replace your cleaning lady if she is not doing what you need. It doesn't mean she's a "bad" cleaning lady. It's just that you want one thing, while she provides something else.

My cleaning lady told me up front that she's "a cleaner, not a maid." She only offers cleaning services like washing floors, dusting, vacuuming, and bathroom cleaning. She does not do laundry, wash dishes, clean scattered items up, or put things away. It is perfect for our family because the cleaning is the only part we want to hire out, but someone who wants laundry washed and folded should not hire her. I'm sure she knows she loses some clients this way, but it's her choice of business model.

octopus

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 7:32 pm

I once asked a cleaner to sweep the leaves outside near my driveway (not too many leaves). Previous cleaners had no problem with this job but she told me that the dust/dirt makes her sneeze and she can't do it. I felt bad, but I never hired her back again because I need someone who can once in a while sweep the outside of my house.

amother

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 7:49 pm

octopus wrote:

LOL I had a baby nurse who wouldn't get up in the middle of the night because she needed her rest.

Ema of 5

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 9:18 pm

amother wrote:

Of course you have the right to ask for whatever you want, but if you feel that something is beneath YOU, don't be surprised if your cleaning lady feels that it's below her too. She is there to help you, but that doesn't mean you can treat her as sub human.

imasinger

Sun, Oct 12 2014, 9:30 pm

You might want to find another cleaner first, and have evidence that of course a cleaner will do those jobs.

If it were me, I'd say it like this.

"X, I have a problem.

I need someone who will fold my laundry every week, and prepare my guest room when I need it done. You have made it clear that these tasks are not things that you consider appropriate to do. I don't want the toys picked up in the playroom; you keep doing it anyway.

Since my list of needs doesn't match your list of jobs that you do, I think, no matter how much I appreciate the rest of what you do, we are not a good fit for each other. What do you think?"

If she says, "no cleaner would do that", you could say, "well, actually..."

And then tell her you are giving her the choice as to whether to stay and follow your directions, or part ways.