Funny blog on reality show idea - 3 Day Yontif

imasinger

Mon, Oct 13 2014, 11:20 pm

This made me chuckle.

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com.....ntif/

Quote:

I’ve got an idea for a new reality show; it’s called “Three-Day Yontif,” for those two-day holidays that fall just before the sabbath, where all the same restrictions on cooking, using electricity, driving and shopping apply.

Three families, living under one roof, compete over preparations for a three-day yontif, let’s say, Sukkot. One bathtub, one shower, for twelve to twenty people. Each family is given a different budget. Within that budget, they must decorate a standard 10″ x 12″ canvas Sukkah, buy the children new clothes, as well as buy enough food for six four-course feasts. The food must be pleasing to the eye, varied, and delicious. Points taken away for families who serve on paper. All preparations must take place during the four days following Yom Kippur.

Contestants: Let’s mix it up! One rich family with lots of help, one poor family with lots of kids, maybe an Israeli family that only observes one day.

Let’s throw some wrenches into it! How about the meat delivery that doesn’t show up until the day of the holiday, only to be left by the delivery man outside the garage door overnight? A freak hurricane, leaving inches of water in the basement that your whole out-of-town family is supposed to sleep in! How about the poopy diaper that needs changing just as the mother has her hands plunged elbow-deep in a vat of slimy ground beef, in the throes of making stuffed cabbage? The bored children who bicker and leave wrappers, shoes and Wii games around the TV, although their mother needs help vacuuming, laundering, polishing, ironing, and cooking? The child who announces that he has lice, just as the mother comes home from that last trip to the store! Or the child who cuts himself badly enough for stitches, and must be rushed to the ER, seven hours before sundown! So many possibilities.

Other challenges: the emergency trip to Amazing Savings for more aluminum pans, only to find that there aren’t any standard-size lasagna pans left. The rainstorm that destroys one Sukkah’s exquisite, hand-crafted decorations and blows the walls out of a second one. The cleaning lady who quits the day before the holiday. The college-aged daughter who brings a friend home for the holiday, a friend who only eats Satmar schita meat, cholov Yisroel milk, no gluten, and no nuts. Laughs ensue when the sleep-deprived mother has a mental breakdown from all the nonstop shopping, cooking, cleaning, mediating, scouring, soothing and serving, after surviving thirteen of these feasts in the previous two weeks.

What’s great about this show is its portability; I envision a Three-Day Yontif Brooklyn, Three-Day Yontif Five Towns, Three-Day Yontif LA, Three-Day Yontif Hashmonaim, Three-Day Yontif Sephardi Style.

Who would the judges be? The in-laws, of course! That’s the beauty of this game show. No one ever wins.

What are your ideas for challenges?

the world's best mom

Mon, Oct 13 2014, 11:43 pm

Ideas for challenges? Ha! My Yom Tov was a perfect example.

Monday before Y"T dd had an appointment in Philadelphia to change the casts on her legs. Between traveling and the time there, it took all day.

Tuesday I had a root canal, I worked, and took my kids to the therapy gym where the OT noticed a rash on ds's arm and sent us to the doctor.

Wednesday was Erev Y"T. Ds fell from a height and knocked his front teeth loose. We had to rush to the dentist to have them pulled, as well as buy shoes for dd, hang up Succah decorations, get ds a haircut, hem dd's skirt, and do 3 loads of laundry. We got home from the dentist 2 hours before Y"T and had to bathe everyone.

The second night of Y"T, ds had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER.

(Yes, it was the same ds who had the rash, loose teeth and asthma attack.)

Friday night, my neighbor's autistic son ran away from their Succah and was missing until 4:30 am. Their little kids moved into our house for the night. Everyone was up until 2 am.

On Shabbos we had to get dd in her wheelchair to the Succah across the street with no Eiruv for each meal.

And somehow we got through Y"T. How's that for nice challenges for a reality show?

the world's best mom

Tue, Oct 14 2014, 8:41 am

imamazing wrote:

Your screen name is quite apropo. You def sound like you are the worlds greatest mom! May you have much strength!

Thank you. What you wrote is not the slightest bit true, but it was nice.

I sure could use strength. Our challenges didn't end with Y"T. But this was supposed to be about the 3 day Y"T. Over Y"T, my root canal got infected, so on Sunday morning I had to go back to the dentist. We were planning to leave early to go back to Philadelphia to have fun there before our next cast change appointment, but we left after the dentist instead. We did have a very nice time there on Sunday.

Monday was our appointment at 10:30. We were planning to go from there to eat lunch in the Chabad Succah there. (We were told there was a pop up Succah where we stayed. That was true. The problem was, there was no Schach on it. Just one stick of bamboo on the floor.)

Well, the appointment lasted until 4:30 in the afternoon. We had the whole family there, the baby needed a nap, the other kids were terribly bored.Everyone was hungry, and there was no Succah close by, so dh couldn't eat much. We had lots of traffic coming home, and got home for a late supper. It was exhausting. And dd was disappointed to need long casts again and still be in a wheelchair, when they had told her that this week she could probably move on to walking casts.

At least next week we have Monday off. Our first Monday staying home for a long time. But then instead, we will be there on Thursday for dd's surgery.

I'm just praying things go more smoothly between now and the surgery.

the world's best mom

Wed, Oct 15 2014, 12:40 am

We were supposed to go to my in-laws for the first days and avoid the no Eiruv issue. My in-laws' dining room is their Succah, and they have an Eiruv. But my sister-in-law decided to have a baby before Succos instead of after, so she's there instead and we stayed home.

Today we went on a normal Chol HaMoed trip just like regular people. No emergencies until we got home and ds was wheezing badly again... but we gave him all the meds we could and now he's only wheezing a little. He went to sleep and we'll just keep an eye on him.

How am I dealing with it? I have no idea. I have no time to stop and think about what is going on because by the time we finish dealing with one crisis, we're on to the next one. I can hardly remember what was this morning, much less two days ago. But I am exhausted, that much I know. And I still have to figure out what I'm cooking for Y"T. I have to somehow buy ingredients and cook, but I have to take ds to the doctor in the morning to see why he's still wheezing. At least this Shabbos we can eat at home and not have to worry about getting to a Succah.