I figured out why I don't know how to clean!

amother

Sun, Oct 19 2014, 5:21 am

Bear with me. I feel really stupid.

Ever since I've been married, I have really struggled with keeping the house together. Before I was married I went to college, and before that I lived with divorced parents, bouncing between them every other week. Both houses were basically clean, and seemed to keep themselves that way, as my parents were always either working or spending time with me (or going out and leaving me with a babysitter, or grocery shopping. I mean, there was SOME cleaning, I'd see (and help) them unload the dishwasher or vacuum once in awhile, but that was about it. And over chol hamoed I saw some cobwebs on my bedroom wall and was like, "hey, when did those get there? People have to clean their WALLS?"

And it finally dawned on me that my parents must have done the heavy cleaning (or in my father's case more likely hired someone to do it) on the weeks that I wasn't there. And nobody ever told me how to do it, or even how long it should take or what supplies to use or anything. I live in a really tiny apartment and we don't have a lot of money, so I don't want to hire someone, but I'm also not strong and I have back problems, and my husband works full-time, and I don't, so........ can someone give me the idiot's guide to both organizing and deep cleaning in a way that isn't going to injure me?

Anonymous because as I said in the beginning I feel really stupid.

chani8

Sun, Oct 19 2014, 5:47 am

Some of it is personality, too. Cleaning takes me forever and does not come naturally. I keep a clean house, actually, but I clean in impulsive little spurts, and use my organizational skills to keep things looking tidy. I find the pressure of someone coming to visit helps spur me into action, too.

Dev80

Sun, Oct 19 2014, 6:05 am

I really get you, I came from a clean (but cluttered) home and wasn't really involved with the house cleaning at all. I took care of my own room so I could fold clothes, vacuum, and I did the dishes occasionally....so having to take care of the home has definitely been a learning experience. I remember when we moved and I realized that was the first time I actually washed the shower curtain, I was like oh no one told me to do that!

I can't write a whole list for you but just wanted to sympathize that I really get you!!

SingALong

Sun, Oct 19 2014, 12:46 pm

Is break things down to doable daily tasks and then weekly/monthly/occasional tasks.

Daily: making beds, taking out garbage, dishes, tidying up, etc. they things you need to have done to function on a daily basis. Figure out how often you need to scrub bathrooms and if you can get away with a daily quick wipe down with 1-2x week deep cleaning. I'd sweep daily and try to mop 3x a week....depending on household size and how dirty your floor gets...

Weekly/occasional tasks: cleaning kitchen garbage can, windows, dusting corners/lights, organizing closets, getting rid of clutter, etc.

base your tasks on your family's needs

nyer1

Sun, Oct 19 2014, 2:17 pm

house cleaning, while draining and exhausting isn't necessarily physically difficult. take breaks.
I like the idea of organizing your to-do list into daily / weekly / monthly, so you know what needs to be attacked and when.
but beyond that, start with one room at a time. do what you can and take frequent breaks if you need to

amother

Sun, Oct 19 2014, 2:27 pm

Don't feel stupid. My mother didn't know how to cook anything when she got married because she never saw her mother cook and her mother was a fabulous cook. Her mother did all the cooking very early in the morning, before my mother got up. Over time, my mother learned and she became a wonderful cook like her mother.

amother

Sun, Oct 19 2014, 4:40 pm

I lived with my married parents and don't know how to clean because they never did. embarrassed

At times while I was growing up we had regular cleaning help, but otherwise our house was never clean or tidy. We always scrambled to clean before guests came over. I think that was the only time floors were mopped and bathrooms cleaned and carpets vacuumed. I was never even taught to make my bed on a regular basis.

lavender_dew

Sun, Oct 19 2014, 8:08 pm

OP, I realized the very same thing recently!

My mom always cleaned like a maniac while we were in school (I never understood this at the time). When I got home, everything was pristine and there was always a homemade snack and homemade dinner for the evening. She also cleaned our bedrooms for us. As a kid, I always felt like she was the "perfect mom". But as a mom myself now, I realize it would have been much better in the long run for her to actually SHOW us how to do everything, and unfortunately, that takes a lot more effort and patience than just doing it yourself.

I'm trying a few different methods to find out what works for me. You'll probably have to do the same. Right now, I'm doing a weekly schedule with specific chores for each day. A big problem is letting everything pile up and then right before Shabbat, for example, you totally freak out because everything's a mess on top of having all the extra cooking, etc. So, if you do a little bit every day, the house will never be out of order (too badly, anyway!). Good luck and be patient with yourself! Smile