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What is a valid reason to move?



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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 22 2014, 4:18 pm
So, the question is basically stated above.

Is not liking the community a valid reason?
-feeling, that you can't relate to the people anymore?
-Not liking the place itself (as in the city) ?

Or do people move only out of financial/chinuch etc reasons?

The thing is, that lately I've been thinking about moving, financially and chinuch wise we are fine here, but I feel like this place is not for us, community wise, I once liked it here, but not anymore, my husband never liked it here.

Now the one thing I can not understand, is whether the problem really lies within me (wanting change), or if we really will be off better elsewhere.

Could you please also state, what would be valid reasons for you to move and why, thanks!
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 22 2014, 5:12 pm
I think those are valid reasons to move, but like a lot of things, who says you'll like it better elsewhere or that you won't have other issues? I know someone who moved because she couldn't stand the cold and moved to a warmer climate. She ended up moving back because of financial reasons. You would have to weigh the pros and cons and of course have bitachon in hashem that everything is for the best Wink .
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LiLIsraeli




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 22 2014, 5:46 pm
Why do you need a "valid" reason? Who do you have to answer to? You don't like a place, for whatever reason, you need to weigh the pros and cons with your husband and within yourself and come to your own decision.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 22 2014, 5:57 pm
OP, we are in a similar situation in that community isn't right but chinuch for some of my kids isn't great either. We have virtually decided to move but I'm just working up the courage to make a final decision because it's scary to move!

DH was never happy here and after 10 years still doesn't feel settled. That is grounds to consider moving seriously (for us anyway).

Long term we are also thinking about shidduchim for the kids and being that the community isn't really right for us here, there is a possibility they will anyway end up not living near us so trying to minimise that risk is also being taken into account.

Just my experience. I hope you (and me!) make the right decision.
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Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 22 2014, 6:00 pm
LiLIsraeli wrote:
Why do you need a "valid" reason? Who do you have to answer to? You don't like a place, for whatever reason, you need to weigh the pros and cons with your husband and within yourself and come to your own decision.

Yes. Any reason that makes sense to you is valid.
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 22 2014, 6:44 pm
I think you're asking the wrong question. Unless you're in EY and contemplating leaving (in which case it's a halachik shaila), there's no such thing as an invalid reason. Well, unless your reason is outright nefarious- like you're moving so you can join ISIS or something (in which case, what are you doing here on imamother LOL ). What you need to be asking is, are the reasons you listed serious enough to outweigh the positives of your current living situation? Those are some serious positives, but the two negatives you listed might be so intense as to outweigh that. This is something only you and your husband can figure out. YOu also obviously have to consider the alternatives available to you- will all the positives still be there? Are you trading one set of problems for another? Etc.
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