All My Efforts at Making Her Feel Beautiful....:-(

Chayalle

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 10:43 am

Funny thread. I have straight hair and my DH has steel wool (as, you could take off a piece and wash your dishes.) I remember my SIL's agonizing over their hair and loving their straight wigs.

So my two older DD's have straight hair....as in take a shower, do nothing, hair dries straight and silky.

Along comes my youngest and she has CURLS. Not my straight hair, not DH's frizz....gorgeous light brown scrunchable curls. I LOVE IT!!!! (note my avaitor, that was a few years ago).

I can wash her hair and scrunch with my fingers for the cutest ringlets ever. I can put her hair into a pony and it curls into one long telephone wire. My big girls agree that when she comes out of the bath for Shabbos, she looks like she's been to the hairdresser. You should've seen her on Yom Tov, with ringlets draped over her shoulders like a china doll.

What's with the straight hair syndrome? Tova, curls are gorgeous! I wouldn't trade one curl for anything! And my big girls go nuts when there's a wedding in the family and they try to curl a few tendrils, which droop by the time the chuppah comes. They kvetch how they wish they had little sister's hair!

questioner

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:33 am

Can I hijack this thread to ask what on earth to do with my 3 yr old DDs frizzy / curly hair to make it look pretty? Her hair is pretty short and frizzy / tangly - I'd love to get it in pretty curls. Right now, I only brush it after a bath and lots of detangling spray. Otherwise, I try to run my fingers through her hair (not easy) and pull it into a side pony with a bow. Today there was hair flying in all directions and she was protesting and running away from me. Would moussing it after her bath help?

Chayalle

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 12:57 pm

Conditioner is a must. Also, try brushing it out when it's very wet, then letting it curl up naturally but not tangling while it dries.

I also find that when I brush DD's hair in the morning, I always dampen the brush. That way it gets into a smooth pony, as opposed to there being hair all over that isn't going in.

My friend jells her DD's curls, though I never have. I guess it depends on how curly, and the texture.

Tova

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 1:46 pm

Thank you Chayelle and others, all the posts made me smile. imama - the reason I made a big deal about being able to easily straighten it is honestly because I think she is lucky that she has the CHOICE to have straight or curly/wavy hair (when she's old enough to manage it). If she likes it one way or the other I think it could be achieved without much effort. This is coming from someone that she and 2 of her sisters had curly hair to the point that it could really only be straightened by a professional. I would get my hair blowdried sometimes before a date and I had to leave 2 hours from start to finish (including shampooing, etc.) But you are right that there is a certain measure of projecting in here.

As a (sad) side point, and I am only remembering this now, but I have one remaining single sister, one of the curly girls, and shadchanim have told her to only submit pictures of herself w/ her hair straightened because some boys don't like curly. Isn't that sad?

Tova

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 1:50 pm

Oh, and to the poster who asked about managing the curls, what I found works best is to brush and comb it well after she has it shampoo'd, but otherwise leave it alone (at most in the morning run my hands through when making her pony) this results in beautiful curls/waves. When it's brushed while dry it tends to get frizzy and/or messy curls. But she often brushes her hair herself in the morning and I'm not gonna tell her to stop doing something that she sees as self-care (which normally it would be) so I only appeal to her to let me make the decisions on her hair when we have a simcha or something to go to :-).

zaq

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 5:17 pm

Tova wrote:

As a (sad) side point, and I am only remembering this now, but I have one remaining single sister, one of the curly girls, and shadchanim have told her to only submit pictures of herself w/ her hair straightened because some boys don't like curly. Isn't that sad?

Not only sad, but ultimately counterproductive. One should of course take some pains with one's appearance and present one's best foot forward, but one should be oneself. Present yourself at your polished but genuine best and you'll end up with a man who likes you as you really are. Present yourself in disguise and you will end up with a man who likes your disguise but doesn't necessarily like the real you. Having to keep up a false appearance for the rest of your life is not only difficult logistically but draining emotionally.

amother

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 6:31 pm

Tova wrote:

Reminds me of my dating experience I was told by family members and shadchanim that if I didn't straighten my hair I would never get married. My mother was my biggest supporter and once left a simcha with me because of a nasty comment someone said (looking back my hair really was long, gorgeous, and curly)
The funny thing was I was going on tons of dates for my age and location, just none worked it, and I really don't believe any were over the curly hair.
One year I paid $80 to have my hair straightened. I looked like a witch. I went around to a few choice people - showed them the results - and then went home and took a shower.

b'h I married a boy from a family of curly haired girls. And we have some very curly haired girls (one has hair in the bath to her waste, but it curls up the nape of her neck into the tightest of ringlets). And I just keep telling them how beautiful they are.