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Some Askonim and Ashirim seem not to have any problems



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amother


 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 8:02 pm
A small percentage have no problems with children, health, money, Shidduchim, etc.

I know only Hashem knows the real truth, but some people have health, healthy kids, Parnassa B'revach, Nachas from all their children, marry off all their children young, are desired as Shidduch prospects, and well you get the idea. They don't have obvious problems and seem not to have skeletons in their closet (I'm sure some do, but I'm equally sure that there's a minority that DON"T have skeletons in their closet, or hidden problems).

It might be a small minority but I'm sure there are people like that.

What do people do to have that Zchus?
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Lechatchila Ariber




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 8:08 pm
NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON IN BEHIND ANOTHER PERSONS CLOSED DOORS

everyone has their pekeleh, everyone has their nisyonois!
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healthymama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 8:11 pm
I heard something in the gemara about how if you have had no problems for forty days, you begin to lose part of your share in gan eden. I think the point was that everyone has problems. Even people who you think have it all.

I personally know a lot of people and know NO ONE who has no problems in some area.
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amother


 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 8:11 pm
I wish I didn't have to post as amother.

Sadly I come from such a family that looks like we have no problems. Money, Yichus, Fantastic children, shidduchim. If you only knew what tzar my parents have everyday for the last 20 years. And the problem will never dissapear.

For some its a child that has an illness that doen't seem obvious to the outside. Others have lost children R"L. Others have sholom beit issues either them or there children that tears the family apart inside but to the outside world no one knows.

Be happy with all you have and never ever wish another persons baggage.

Most of these things only a child living in the home would be able to tell you. Not even a cousin or uncle.
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amother


 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 8:12 pm
EstiS wrote:
NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON IN BEHIND ANOTHER PERSONS CLOSED DOORS

everyone has their pekeleh, everyone has their nisyonois!
Only Hashem knows that for sure! Also, some people's pekeleh is finding the right contractor for their home/summer home renovation or finding the right vacation spot.
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amother


 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 8:17 pm
From all the askonim and Ashirim I know, I could list you problems
horrible midos, sucides, anorexic child, sick grandchild, loosing your entire fortune from one day to the next. (Most make it right back , but imagine the months in between).
Most you would never know. Give me a name of a rich asken + 3 days. and I'll give you history you never thought you would hear.
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mimivan




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 8:53 pm
They are probably on a higher spiritual level and do not have so much "dirt' on their neshamas that needs to be cleansed.
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ChavieK




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 8:59 pm
mimivan why would you think that? What about the age old question of why bad things happen to good people.
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Lechatchila Ariber




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 9:01 pm
amother wrote:
EstiS wrote:
NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON IN BEHIND ANOTHER PERSONS CLOSED DOORS

everyone has their pekeleh, everyone has their nisyonois!
Only Hashem knows that for sure! Also, some people's pekeleh is finding the right contractor for their home/summer home renovation or finding the right vacation spot.



thats according to your perception. and if only hashem knows then how can you assume to know what those peoples pekeleh is?
the grass is always greener on the other side.
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Emuna




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 9:11 pm
Are we looking for tzarus and even wanting it (ch'v) behind their closed doors? So what if there is nothing horrific going on behind the closed doors? Why do we love the gossip and the "dirt" and learning that everyone has their pekeleh. The other thread about baseless hatred/love really brings it all home. Looking at others and comparing is all about ourselves, and not focusing on the good that we can do right now. Can't we focus on ourselves and do better and feel good about ourselves and then perhaps look at all the families with "no problems" and actually desire that they truly have no problems. Wouldn't that be amazing? (I'm not saying I'm on that level.)
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mimivan




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 10:32 pm
ChavieK wrote:
mimivan why would you think that? What about the age old question of why bad things happen to good people.


I tell myself that during weaker moments when I start to feel jealous. Ideally, it should be as latter posters have mentioned, that we should only want good for others and never be jealous, but we need some meat to throw to the yetzer hara sometimes! LOL
So when I feel jealous that, for example, neighbors have family to help and more support, I tell myself Hashem gave me the difficulty of handling what I have to handle as a tikkun for the state of my neshama. They don't need that tikkun, and their tikkun is none of my business.
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amother


 

Post Wed, May 16 2007, 10:43 pm
Emuna wrote:
Are we looking for tzarus and even wanting it (ch'v) behind their closed doors? So what if there is nothing horrific going on behind the closed doors? Why do we love the gossip and the "dirt" and learning that everyone has their pekeleh. The other thread about baseless hatred/love really brings it all home. Looking at others and comparing is all about ourselves, and not focusing on the good that we can do right now. Can't we focus on ourselves and do better and feel good about ourselves and then perhaps look at all the families with "no problems" and actually desire that they truly have no problems. Wouldn't that be amazing? (I'm not saying I'm on that level.)


I think we all look for some kind of justice, and just like it saddens us when too much burden is on one family with illnesses, deaths, etc., it nags at us when one family seems to be too perfect with no problems. Not that we wish problems on them ChvSh', but it's hard to look at them, and then at the other family with an excess of tzuris.

With that said, I agree that things usually aren't as perfect as they seem. And sometimes the family that looks like they have a lot of tzuris copes with it so well that it brings the family closer. Meanwhile a family with "no problems" may just go about their day with no spiritual growth and just focus on fashion and vacations, etc. Sure it's a pleasant life in olam hazeh, but what about spiritual growth?
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amother


 

Post Thu, May 17 2007, 3:01 am
what a pathetic, stupid, small minded thread. are you seriously even having this conversation? To think that anything about anyones life is any of your business is so small. You have no idea what people are going through, and anyway, why does it feel like you are all a bunch of jealous people hoping that people that have it easier than you are actually suffering in private. What is it about us Jews that we can't fargin a person to a good or even a great life. What makes you glad that someone else has bad luck. Sometimes I feel like I am a fly on the wall of a discussion of bored housewives who are so lacking intellectual stimulation that they are forced to have pathetic conversations to feel smart. Just worry about your own house, your own family and stop looking at what is happening in the lives of others.
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amother


 

Post Thu, May 17 2007, 5:45 am
amother wrote:
what a pathetic, stupid, small minded thread. are you seriously even having this conversation? To think that anything about anyones life is any of your business is so small. You have no idea what people are going through, and anyway, why does it feel like you are all a bunch of jealous people hoping that people that have it easier than you are actually suffering in private. What is it about us Jews that we can't fargin a person to a good or even a great life. What makes you glad that someone else has bad luck. Sometimes I feel like I am a fly on the wall of a discussion of bored housewives who are so lacking intellectual stimulation that they are forced to have pathetic conversations to feel smart. Just worry about your own house, your own family and stop looking at what is happening in the lives of others.


I don't think anyone here is glad when other people have bad luck. It's just interesting how some people seem to not have any tzoris in their lives....nu? so if you don't like it, stop reading and start an "intellectual" conversation...
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Emuna




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 17 2007, 8:56 am
Yesterday there was a thread about rude anonymous posters and I thought, gee I've never seen it as a problem - and now to see this yucky post by an anonymous - using words "pathetic" and "stupid" about our thread. Now, talk about a bitter housewife!! Only a bitter woman would use the word "stupid" to make a point. My two cents - that "person" should be gently removed.
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Mrs. XYZ




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 17 2007, 9:04 am
Emuna wrote:
Yesterday there was a thread about rude anonymous posters and I thought, gee I've never seen it as a problem - and now to see this yucky post by an anonymous - using words "pathetic" and "stupid" about our thread. Now, talk about a bitter housewife!! Only a bitter woman would use the word "stupid" to make a point. My two cents - that "person" should be gently removed.


Nah, shes surely not a housewife- thats much too mundane and pathetic for such an "intellectual" person!
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amother


 

Post Thu, May 17 2007, 9:17 am
The amother who said pathetic & stupid sounds like she IS one of those families who was told one too many times "how lucky she is" by strangers who have no idea, and when she is having a good time why cant people be happy for her.
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