Do you give your kids a brocha friday night?

amother

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 12:31 am

Not your husband, you? Do you give your children a brocha friday night? I have been doing so for a few years now. My older boys 'humor me' and let me give them their brocha. My other children seem to appreciate it.

This week, I saw a very yeshivish mother give her adult married children a brocha and felt validated that I am not 'off' for wanting to give the brocha.

It got me wondering weather anybody else does it too.

Rutabaga

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 1:14 am

My mother always gave us a bracha on Friday nights (still does if we're together for shabbos) so I do the same.

DH also gives a bracha because his father always did/does.

There's quite a scene when we go to my parents for shabbos and my grandfather is also there. My grandfather gives brachos to everyone, my mother gives to whatever children/children in law/grandchildren are around, and DH and I give to DD.

freidasima

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 2:27 am

In dh's family they don't give brochos at all, ever.
In my family my father would bench me once a year on erev YK and then at my wedding for the last time. It's only for single children (I guess in the sense that they then get married have their own kids and bench them).

So I bench the kids erev YK. Dh doesn't. With my single kids every year on Erev YK I wish them that this will be the last YK that I bench them. This year one of them said "you say that every year already". Yeah well.

vicki

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 3:19 am

freidasima wrote:

In my family my father would bench me once a year on erev YK and then at my wedding for the last time.

Me too. I remember wondering about this but we were always in a hurry to get to shul so I never got to ask about this minhag.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 3:48 am

DH did with his own kids when they were little. I started doing it with DD when she was little, but now that she's a tween she's decided she's "too cool for that mushy stuff". Now it's turned into a game, where I chase her around the house, catch her, and then bentch her. Then I give her a big fat kiss and wish her Gut Shabbos, and she desperately tries to scrub the kiss off. Rolling Eyes

I think she secretly likes it. Wink

ilovesem

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 5:32 am

I do, my parents do as do my grandparents. So there are sometimes 3 generations to bench, it takes a while!

FranticFrummie, your daughter sounds like me, that's exactly what I used to do. And we hated my father's kisses (beard!)

imasinger

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 7:00 am

DH and I are in a second marriage. I bentch the kids from my first marriage when they are with us on Shabbos (one is married, one is in yeshiva). DH bentches the others, including the grown one who takes her bracha with a short back massage for her painful back.

Sometimes, our youngest, 8, requests that I put my hand on his head, too, or wants a second bracha from me. Or decides to give me one.

In the words of a wise rav who commented on someone's similar practice, "loving words are a great thing. You can't have too many opportunities to get a bracha in this world."

animeme

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 9:47 am

I don't but DH does. His mother bentsches him whenever we're together on Friday night, and always did. My mom does not. My father always bentsched me straight through marriage. At my wedding my dad did, and then my in laws together.

Why would it end when the child gets married? I loved receiving brachos even as DH gave them to our kids. I thought brachos are something you can't have too much of.

Ema of 5

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 9:54 am

My mother didn't, but at my oldest's shalom Zachor I felt the desire to do so, and have since been giving Brachos every Friday night. They go to daddy and then to ima in age order, from oldest to youngest.
Whenever we spend shabbos with my parents, my father gives me a Bracha and whichever of our children want. When we are with my in laws, whoever wants a Bracha gets from Zaidy and/or bubby.

happybeingamom

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 10:08 am

Yes I give my kids.

On Erv Yom Kippur (or during Aseres Yimay Teshuva if you can't get there on Erev Yom Kippur) children, grandchildren and great grandchildren go to my parents to get brachos. I believe my siblings in E"Y get their bracha over the phone.

Ilana Tamar

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 11:36 am

In dh's family, the mom and dad give brachos. His grandparents did it that way too. In my family, only my dad does. His father did too, and in my mom's family, they don't do it ever. Dh wanted me to do it when Dd was born. Did it a few times, but it felt weird, so I stopped.

L25

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 11:54 am

yes! neither of us grew up with it but why shouldn't I give my kid's a bracha?

harriet

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 12:06 pm

L25 wrote:

yes! neither of us grew up with it but why shouldn't I give my kid's a bracha?

Same here.

nechamad

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 1:03 pm

Yes, and when my daughters were in Israel for seminary, they made sure to call for a bracha over the phone Friday afternoon!

rosenbal

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 1:12 pm

I also do it! I saw a friend of mine do it with her kids and though it was so beautiful. Once I had kids I right away implemented the minhag too! My DH likes it too.

amother

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 4:15 pm

OP here

I guess my boys think it strange as I only started it when they were older. My father never did it. I never saw my FIL do it either. But I always liked seeing fathers give their children brachos. My dh did it sometimes. If we remembered.

I have one dd who would call every week for her brocha-even after she got married. Now her dh gets on the phone for his brocha too.

Its nice to know that I am not alone in this.

devash1

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 5:30 pm

Ive always given a bracha. I'm happy to know I'm not the only one. Ive never seen it done,but my husband said the kids shouldn't miss out on one.