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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Toddlers
amother
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Tue, Oct 28 2014, 6:27 pm
I've read a lot of bedtime tips about ignoring bedtime shenanigans, but what do you do when the kids rile each other up?
I have an almost 4 yr old, 2.5 yr old and 1 yr old in one room. My room isn't available at bedtime and I occasionally put a kid to lie down on the couch to break them up, but they rarely fall asleep there.
If I put all the kids to sleep at the same time, then 4yr old goads 2.5 yr old out of her crib and they jump together on the bed and get wild and hyper. 1 yr old starts screaming, I put them back into bed, they jump out, repeat cycle while behavior degenerates.
Lately I'm trying to put 2.5 yr old to sleep at 6:30 because she is exhausted way before then and give 4 yr old his time until she falls asleep. The problem is that she just doesn't fall asleep. She needs a drink, a blanket, to use the bathroom, has a dirty diaper etc. etc for 25 min. Then at some point she pops out of bed "I'm not tired any more". By then it's late for 4yr old DS's bedtime, so I put both of them in with dire warnings ... and she pops out again.
In between all of this, anything too loud wakes up the baby / doesn't let him go to sleep plus as long as he's awake I try to avoid going into the bedroom because that pops him up and it's one happy family hour besides for a desperate mother.
I think the real issue is my 2.5 yr old who is altogether in a terrible-two, "No" obstinate phase. Then combining with an older brother who is thrilled to leverage that and a kvetchy 1 yr old is making this feel impossible.
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amother
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Tue, Oct 28 2014, 7:16 pm
My kids are totally different ages (older) but I always managed best when there bedtime was SEPERATE
Or even try to put them in SEPERATE rooms (I did one in my bed, one (playpen) in dining room , third in his room
Try doing it step by step:
STEP NUMBER 1
get 2.5 year old to sleep. 6:30 is a very good time
And if she comes out of bed - consider a crib that she won't climb out of- like a deep playpen with mattress . I would let her cry/kick/scream for first 20 minutes and listen if she's getting sleepier.
I think when she said "she's not tired anymore" she means "I'm overtired already" and then it's too late to put her to sleep. You need to try keeping her in bed and avoid any eye contact, close most of lights, other kids must be very quiet
STEP NUMBER 2
Put Your 4 year old to sleep at 7-7:30. Tell him 1 story and then no eye contact. Someone will need to watch your one year old while your doing this step
STEP NUMBER 3
About 8-830 Tuck your one year old into bed (im assuming he had a nap- therefore he goes into bed the latest) and let him cry for about 20 minutes
Best of luck!
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chani8
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 12:19 am
I can't tell from your OP, so let me ask, where are you during this time? I would sit in the room with my kids and stop any attempt at misbehavior immediately. When the kids know they're not going to get to play around, they settle right down. It only takes about 20 minutes of sitting there for them to fall asleep. So worth it.
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Iymnok
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Wed, Oct 29 2014, 12:30 am
This is good advice.
When your 4 year old starts making requests calmly repeat I'm sorry you're ---- but it's time to go to bed. Goodnight I love you. I'll save it for you. Shluf gezunt.
The point is stay calm and goal oriented. If the child has everything beforehand, snack, water, bathroom, story... You can fall back on those.
You already ate. Here's your water bottle etc.
Don't get dragged into his stuff.
Expect it to take 1/2 hour
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