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Forum -> Working Women
Biting everyones heads off at work today!
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 7:37 am
I have the liberty of being able to scream and yell at whoever I want, but I hate every minute of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Banging head
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kb




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 7:54 am
Put on your jacket, take a walk around the block, buy yourself a drink, and have a nice day.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 9:02 am
I have the unalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (mine, not yours.)

You do NOT have the liberty to yell and scream at me (or anyone else.)
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proudmother1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 9:05 am
amother wrote:
I have the liberty of being able to scream and yell at whoever I want, but I hate every minute of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Banging head


What gives you that right?

If I am your co-worker, do I have it too?

Ability - Right. Two different words.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 9:40 am
Your behavior is presenting you as an out of control bully.
You ok with other people lowering themselves to reciprocate?
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 10:06 am
amother wrote:
Your behavior is presenting you as an out of control bully.
You ok with other people lowering themselves to reciprocate?


Yes, I have no problem with that. We all lose ourselves sometimes. I'm not biting any heads now. Got over that anxiety and stress!
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proudmother1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 10:08 am
amother wrote:
Yes, I have no problem with that. We all lose ourselves sometimes. I'm not biting any heads now. Got over that anxiety and stress!


Guess what. YOU are over the anxiety and stress now, but the anxiety and stress that you have created in the process of your getting over it, will boomerang.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 10:11 am
proudmother1 wrote:
Guess what. YOU are over the anxiety and stress now, but the anxiety and stress that you have created in the process of your getting over it, will boomerang.


I think e/o takes it a little lighter than that. What do u suggest now after the fact? buying Frisbees? Lady
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proudmother1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 10:14 am
amother wrote:
I think e/o takes it a little lighter than that. What do u suggest now after the fact? buying Frisbees? Lady


There is nothing light about bullying. I don't see anyone taking it as such.
First, admit its wrong.
Then, apologize. Sincerely.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 10:16 am
proudmother1 wrote:
There is nothing light about bullying. I don't see anyone taking it as such.
First, admit its wrong.
Then, apologize. Sincerely.


Oh I always admit its wrong. That why I said it's over now... until the next yell attack. I think it's funny, but you're right that others may not. I don't seem to care when someone is yelling: they are so much cuter that way, especially if they know they are wrong! I'll go apologize and maybe tell someone to take the day off.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 10:16 am
You have the ability.
You must be either the boss, or the boss's wife, mother etc. You feel secure in your position.

Here is the downside.

You lost me as an employee. I was a valued, productive asset to the business. And you won't replace me that quickly as a permanent solution. Because people that have options don't tolerate abuse.

Was it worth it to you?
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naomi2




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 5:56 pm
amother wrote:
Oh I always admit its wrong. That why I said it's over now... until the next yell attack. I think it's funny, but you're right that others may not. I don't seem to care when someone is yelling: they are so much cuter that way, especially if they know they are wrong! I'll go apologize and maybe tell someone to take the day off.



oy. I have no words..... Question Exclamation
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 6:09 pm
DH: Hi honey, how was your day?

DW: Fantastic, B"H! My boss screamed at me today, and you know how cute she is when she does that, hee hee hee! She's the BEST!









Yup. I'm sure that's what they're all saying about you tonight.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 6:33 pm
amother wrote:
Yes, I have no problem with that. We all lose ourselves sometimes. I'm not biting any heads now. Got over that anxiety and stress!


It's nice to be important
It's more important to be nice
More importantly
You won't remain important if you aren't nice!

Didn't your mother teach you that?

You may have the ability to lose it with impunity at work, but keep in mind - you may some day want to marry off your children and your employees/supervisees/whatever MAY just be called. If you can't be professional due to innate decency, do it due to enlightened self-interest. This will come back to bite you.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 8:33 pm
debsey wrote:
It's nice to be important
It's more important to be nice
More importantly
You won't remain important if you aren't nice!

Didn't your mother teach you that?

You may have the ability to lose it with impunity at work, but keep in mind - you may some day want to marry off your children and your employees/supervisees/whatever MAY just be called. If you can't be professional due to innate decency, do it due to enlightened self-interest. This will come back to bite you.
No, my mother didn't teach me that. I wish I could never lose it. I would love to work on it, but sometimes I just literally have no control. I hate every minute. I wish I could be that person that not only treats e/o nicely, but goes above and beyond in always being polite and nice. Not for shidduchim or for the street, but b/c its the right thing to do.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 8:41 pm
amother wrote:
No, my mother didn't teach me that. I wish I could never lose it. I would love to work on it, but sometimes I just literally have no control. I hate every minute. I wish I could be that person that not only treats e/o nicely, but goes above and beyond in always being polite and nice. Not for shidduchim or for the street, but b/c its the right thing to do.


The first step is to recognize how bad it is, without a whiff of acceptance.
Dont' call it "cute" or "light".
And don't brag about it either.

If you have difficulty with that, just look at the responses here. IRL you are so looked down upon, I wish you could see you yourself with someone else's eyes.
Anyone's.

And my old motto is: A jerk is a jerk, is a jerk - always.

I have not doubt that this little shpiel of yours repeats itself in your marriage, with your friends (if you have any) with your family, and any other relationships.
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causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 8:51 pm
do you have Asbergers?

most people don't describe a yelling boss as cute.

The only thing I can come up with is that you are socially unattuned.

(otherwise you are behaving like a real jerk)
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 8:51 pm
amother wrote:
The first step is to recognize how bad it is, without a whiff of acceptance.
Dont' call it "cute" or "light".
And don't brag about it either.

If you have difficulty with that, just look at the responses here. IRL you are so looked down upon, I wish you could see you yourself with someone else's eyes.
Anyone's.

And my old motto is: A jerk is a jerk, is a jerk - always.

I have not doubt that this little shpiel of yours repeats itself in your marriage, with your friends (if you have any) with your family, and any other relationships.

I need to learn techniques that help once I get in this "mood." I'm much better than I was years ago, but still need improvement.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 8:53 pm
causemommysaid wrote:
do you have Asbergers?

most people don't describe a yelling boss as cute.

The only thing I can come up with is that you are socially unattuned.

(otherwise you are behaving like a real jerk)

No. It's because when I yell I say the whole time that "I'm acting ridiculous. I'm out of line, but I'm just too anxious. I have anxiety and when I work on it, everything improves. I agree, when I act that way I am a HUGE jerk. And I'm aware of it. And that's why I hate it. It makes it worse because then I get more anxious and act more jerky.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 12:23 am
Op,
Thank you for writing here if if it rechanneled your anxiety and stress. I'm sure you are proud of yourself for how far you've come, and you have every right to be. By screaming here you are acknowledging the issue. You are not happy about it. Are you doing something to lessen it? Do you need suggestions, or just hugs?
You Have to totally police yourself when you're in a position of power, you don't have the fear that others do.
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