5 year old weight | Imamother

amother

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 10:25 pm

My five year old daughter seems to enjoy eating more than her older 3 siblings.

My others don't express a major interest in food, they eat when they are really hungry and that's it. Sometimes I have to remind them or they really would not eat dinner. They are all extremely thin. I have an open kitchen which they can take healthy snacks, fruits and yogurts cheese etc.

My 5 year old is a different story. She enjoys her meals, and seems to eat whenever she sees food. If the baby is eating pretzels, she needs some. If my husband is having dinner, she will eat again with him. She does enjoy veggies, but definitely eats more than her share of other foods. Even when I take her out to the park etc, if she sees others eating snacks she throws a tantrum until she gets some. She is not quite overweight, but definitely put on a belly in the last year or so. Way more than she should have.

I tried to talk to her about eating healthy and not eating too much since it is not good for our bodies, but I don't think she has the mental capacity for that yet. She sees food, looks good, and she eats. That's it. I don't want to single her out from her siblings regarding any food matter, and my most pressing concern is that she should be healthy and have a good body image, and healthy eating habits.

How do I encourage healthy eating habits in her so this doesnt become a larger issue.

granolamom

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 11:06 pm

I agree with you that she might be too young for the talk about healthy habits etc
you might have to parent this child differently than her siblings in this regard. so maybe you institute some rules like no snacks at the park. so she tatrums and you say, sorry we dont snack at the park. or maybe you have a new rule that dad doesnt share his dinner. she can sit at the table and enjoy his company and maybe she can save a part of her own dinner to have then, but she cannot have dinner twice. just examples.
maybe come up with a a few distractions to keep up your sleeve when you see her heading for food, like all of a sudden you 'remember' that you found a cool hairclip and picked it up for her. or right then you 'need' help washing the dishes. I wouldnt say 'dont eat that now' because you dont want to set up a whole control thing, but give her something else to do and take her mind off the food. keep the snacks where she cant see them or easily reach them.
also, does she have opportunity to run around alot? either outside or maybe sign her up for a gymnastics/dance/karate/etc class?

amother

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 11:24 pm

Thanks so much for your response!

I hate to set rules limiting food, I have found that kids that are limited tend to grasp at any opportunity for food since its viewed as a forbidden/ restricted item. I can pick out which of my kids friends are not allowed any foods between meals when they come into my house and make a mad dash for the kitchen because they know I will allow a , gasp, freeze-pop lol. I always vowed I wouldn't raise kids like that.

Also, she is not an only child and sometimes the baby does need food at the park etc , or her big brother came home late and eats with my husband and I don't want to single her out to limit her from eating. She always seems to have room for more

I have been trying to distract her, with some success, since I know she is not hungry, more eating from boredom and because she LIKES food. She will eventually have to deal with the fact that there is food all around and we have to control ourselves.

She is BH extremely active, rides a 2 wheeler, loves to jump rope etc, and I am sending her to a Sunday Gymnastics/ arts and crafts program this winter.

chani8

Thu, Oct 30 2014, 5:17 am

This is so hard. She doesn't have an off button and the pleasure of food stimulates her brain. Think of this as a sensory thing. A good substitution may be chewing gum. Some gums have ghastly ingredients, so choose your gum wisely. Sugary gum might end up being healthier than the chemical laden sugar free stuff.

A solution for excess calories is more exercise. I know you say she's active, but as I've learned myself, if I want to keep stuffing it in, I've got to keep burning it off. Your DD needs daily exercise. Something fun like dance or aerobics that she can do in the house, everyday.

rosenbal

Thu, Oct 30 2014, 9:04 am

Here's my experience: One of my kids was also in food...loved it all healthy and not. Over a few years she did gain A LOT! (10 lbs, then another 10 and then 17!!) A child cant eat the same amounts as adults and she basically was! The crazy thing is although she was overweight and over 90 percentile, people didnt think so because she didnt look grotesquely obese....but at that rate she was heading there.

Girls stop growing between 13-15 years so it's much easier both physically and behaviorally to make changs before that. Right now my daughter's growing taller so even when she's maintaining or only gaining slightly, she's still "loosing weight". Plus behaviorally it's much easier to changes younger.

Now not quite a preteen, we've gone to a child nutritionist and really as a family we've all been working on it . She's now really able to understand and wants to work on porton control, eating fruits or veggies when she just "wants something" etc. But she also sees me and my DH doing that.

We try to stress health and that extra weight isn't healthy for her body, organs etc. I never weigh her at home. We've been trying new and fun active things (really hard as frum girls get older....they don't have nearly enough at school).

Your daughter isn't old enough to understand and want to make changes like mine but I totally get you. I hated idea of limiting, was scared of causing an eating disorder etc. I think you should try to delegate treats as treats only for shabbos etc (really hard...I'm not great at that either). Portion out snacks like crackers etc into snackbags. Allow unlimited fruit and veggie snacking. Weight watchers allows it....people still loose weight. Talk to a child nutritionist so you know what an appropriate portion size of food is for a child and portion.

At dinner she can have 1 serving of carb, unlimited veggie servings and take dpubes on the protein if she's still hungry (most nutritionists will tell u something like this).
So bring a snack bag with a portion (read label) to park and an apple and when she's hungry that's what there is. Things like this.

Hatzlacha! You're smart to think about it now. Don't freak out, there's plenty of time to get things on the right path BUT don't listen to those well intiontioned souls who tell you "she's little. Let her eat whatever she wants. It's baby fat." Um no, that's just not true.

amother

Thu, Oct 30 2014, 12:25 pm

Thank you all for your kind words.
So funny that you mention gum, because last week I got myself a pack, and she seemed to enjoy it and stop eating while it was in her mouth, for hours! I just got her some more today.
I feel mean but I was happy it was keeping her mouth occupied. I think she just enjoys the eating process, mostly.

I think most of my issues is motherly guilt in limiting her food intake, I basically know what needs to be done, I have to limit her nosh/ starch intake, and encourage her to put down the fork. We also do Morah Music together and jumping jacks etc in the house when it is too cold to go out.

granolamom

Fri, Oct 31 2014, 5:19 pm

amother wrote:

You are 100% right and that is why I have held myself back from stopping her from eating at this point.

OP, I really do understand what you're talking about when you say you dont want to limit your childs ability to take food, I agree about being able to pick out which of my kids friends are not allowed free access to food at home. I, too, swore that I would never be like that. And I think that's great as long as its working for you. Since you're questioning how well its working, I say maybe its time to reassess your fears and your ideals.

I agree that telling a child 'no snacks ever' is not a good idea. I hear the problem about not allowing snacks at the park when the baby needs it. whatever limits you choose to set must obviously work within the context of your family, so my ideas are just ideas. you know what wont work for you, but maybe there is something else that will work. maybe she gets her own snack bag for the park and when she's eaten it all, theres no more?

I am very hesitant to recommend telling a child of 5 that she should put down the fork (or stop eating) but if all you have is eaten then there isnt any more and there's nothing more to discuss. its just not there. I think its ok to tell her she cant have other peoples food or snacks without worrying about eating disorders.

some kids (maybe most kids) do develop a good sense of when they've had enough, and even choose healthful snacks when both healthful and not are available on a regular basis. but some kids just really like their food even when they arent hungry and dont have that innate sense of when to stop. I think it was Dina Friedman who said something like this...a good way to know when your ideals are balanced is when you are able to give up an ideal when necessary. (I'm not repeating it well at all). the point being that yes, your ideals are good, but some kids need something else. this one might need more structure around food. without labeling it as such (it will require some creativity) so it doesnt become a power struggle.