What nice things do you do for your kids?

simcha6

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 2:43 pm

I'm not sure if this would be considered a "nice thing," but we usually try to take at least one or two kids with us if we are just running out for an errand. For example, I need to run out to pick up a few things at the store, and it would be so much easier by myself...however, I feel that the kids really like the one on one time and conversation that can result from a 15-minute or half hour errand.

acemom

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 2:52 pm

I found that even when I am doing "nothing special" but I tell the child that I did it for him/her they really feel good about it. For example, "Mommy fixed your zipper so you shouldn't have to struggle to get dressed." or "I bought orange juice so that you can have what to drink."

I didn't go out of my way to do those things, nor are they anything grand. I just do them in the course of the day.The kids are so happy to hear what I did for them (in their mind, just for them)
Does that count, OP?

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 3:09 pm

When my kids were younger I video taped them ALOT !! ! when we went bowling
birthday partys . singing with them etc Lady

having

.
playing in the back yard . they like watching themselves when they were younger

one of the kids recently said all we did was watch tv Rolling Eyes

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 3:11 pm

amother wrote:

not proud of this. my 23 year old son still lives at home
he makes a long grocery list and I buy him all the food he likes .

he is treated like a king and does nothing around the house
he causes trouble between me and my dh

thanks for the hugs Very Happy

Miri7

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 3:13 pm

When one kid is having an especially hard day or week, I say "you get to pick Shabbat dinner!" and then make what that child would like - favorite dish, dessert, etc. That is a special privilege and something to look forward to for the rest of the week, and we call it "So-and-so's special shabbat dinner." They really like this, and I like it because it's one less menu to plan. (My children are mostly elementary school age)

But the most special thing I can give is my attention - so even (especially) when things are busy/rushed/stressful, I try to give them lots of hugs, big smiles, thank-yous. LOTS of affection and appreciation.

Also, when one of the kids seems to be down, we will stop and say "I think so-and-so is having a hard day." Then we all stop what we're doing and give that child big hugs, attention, etc. It is amazing to watch how the siblings who had been nagging one another all day immediately stop and give really nice positive attention all day. It reminds us all to be aware of each other emotionally and to give our support and love.

So even though we do give our kids presents or special experiences, I think that the most appreciated gift is our love and attention, to honor them and their feelings.

Barbara

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 3:24 pm

greenfire wrote:

the balloon story struck a chord

I recall being on a camp trip & one of my friends bought me a balloon [hiya jill Wave

]

I cried because it made me feel 'special', something we all long for especially from our mothers

Barbara

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 3:26 pm

amother wrote:

My mother was not very affectionate growing up. She was and is a good mother but was lacking in the "making her kids feel special thing".

It really hurt me when I saw mothers and daughters with such close bonds. When I read about the poster who buys her daughter a balloon at the airport, it hurt me, cos those are the types of things I missed.

I am therefore the opposite, I am extremely affectionate and demonstrative and heap on the compliments(another thing my mother couldn't do) My children are not spoiled physically, but are most definitely spoiled emotionally. There are certain things I take extra effort with, like birthdays. I just want my kids to feel special.

I sometimes get jealous of my kids(k, not really, but you know...) because they have something I never had.

(I still shout and scream and lose my cool sometimes.)

For you.

Liebs

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 4:05 pm

amother wrote:

maybe that's why he is in no rush to leave the house Smile

groisamomma

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 4:24 pm

Take only one kid when I go out shopping in the evening. Take one kid when I go out for downtime by myself (bowling, skating, I know I'm weird but I like to do these all by my lonesome usually).

Bring home little treats for them or buy the magazines they like without waiting for them to beg for them Very Happy

On legal holidays when I'm off from school I make it my business to take out one kid for breakfast or lunch or ice cream and drop them back off in school afterward. You can't imagine what that does for them--I'll bet they are the only kids in their class that can't wait for Xmas and New Years' LOL

dr. pepper

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 9:32 pm

Thanks for the thread!

I usually do special time while tucking them into bed.

I like to take them out individually on an errand which usually includes a treat. I'd love to do the taking out of school think as a concept, but I'm too stuck in the way I was parented: no off from school unless there was legit fever. Which I hated! But modeling is a powerful tool....I can't seem to imagine taking a kid out for no other reason. I guess when they get older and there may be more of a need....

I can relate to the post about making a neutral thing special for the kid "I put your stuff in the hamper b/c I see you're really tired."

Birthday kid gets to pick full supper. I'm waiting for one of them to catch on that it means literally anything.
As in: cake, doughnuts, ices and ring pops. Cuz that's what we would have Very Happy

So far, they all assume I mean which supper they like best plus some nice treat at the end they want in particular.

spring13

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 10:09 pm

I do my little girls' nails with fun colored polish, and we bake cookies together. They love using cookie cutters (even though cutout cookies never taste as good as drop cookies), so we do that just for fun.

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 10:25 pm

When my kids were in a local nursery school, I would sometimes take one of them out of school at lunch, to have a "date" with them. I would pick the child who had been having a difficult time lately. We'd go to the local pizza store, have some private time together, and then get the child back to school in time for nap time, so I could get back to work. To this day, my kids, some of whom have their own children, remember the "dates" we went on.

asmileaday

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 10:36 pm

We do the birthday suppers too. One of my kids picked farina! Farina it was...
Once got for my son a small casio and told him it's just because I love you. To this day he still remembers that this casio was bought just because I love him.
To the posters who take out 1 kid for an errand where do you leave your other kids? I'm usually home alone and don't have kids old enough to babysit.

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 10:49 pm

amother wrote:

I have a 4.5 year old dd who is awake for an hour after her younger siblings.

we color together (she tells me which sections should be which colors)
string necklaces
bake
role play (to teach and work on social skills and behaviors.) she LOVES this

I have a 3.5 year old and similar time with her. Can you point me towards sources to prepare myself for the role playing? Also, do you recommend any specific art kits?
Also, do you find that she has a hard time falling asleep after because she needs time to unwind after the activities?

pumpernickle

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 11:20 pm

I always put their towels in dryer before bathing so they have warm towels. I get them balloons for special occasions like a siyum or milestone and write a personal message on it with permanent marker.
We make a special treat lkovod rosh chodesh.
When a morah or rebbe or anyone we know has a simcha or is returning home/school, we design and decorate a nice poster together.