spinoff kalla wearing white: sil wearing white

amother

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 3:47 am

Uch! I was so annoyed.
I was not the puffy cupcake gown type.
so my gown was the boho. kind of flow style. cream color
and quess what? my sil were in white and cream too. with straight flowing gowns too!
Of course it was obvious that I was the bride and my dress was so much more than theirs.
but still, white? cream? with the flow of the brides dress?
I was upset.
what do you think?
anon cuz I think my sils are here (sorry guys, I love you anyhow)

little_mage

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 5:26 am

Because the bride is typically in white, it is considered bad manners for other guests to be wearing white. That being said, there isn't much you can do about it once someone shows up.

PinkFridge

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 5:28 am

amother wrote:

I don't get it either but you're not the only one. And as it becomes more prevalent, people will go to gemachs, find a sufficient selection of white for the family and go for it.
I hope this was the worst thing that went wrong at your wedding, and that the marriage fully compensates for it ;-)

Kitten

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 5:35 am

I have seen SILs in white gowns (not the puffy type) at several chasunas. I have also seen mothers in what was clearly white wedding gowns (puffy). For me, it just looks weird when you have several people dressed in equally beautiful white gowns.

mommyla

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 6:38 am

Don't assume that SILs in white gowns are just being obnoxious! My SIL chose cream as her color scheme and we all wore it, even though we looked awful. (Obviously this doesn't apply to you, OP, but everyone else: don't judge the cream-wearing SILs!)

amother

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 6:42 am

huh?
I did not pick the color.
I did not pick any color.
as a matter of fact I don't remember even being asked.
(truthfully I didn't care so much about not being asked. but we are both from a society where is usually a huge deal for the bride)

amother

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 6:46 am

I hear you. My stepmother wore white to my wedding. Not a ballgown like my dress, but yeah, I wasn't happy about it. That was not ok. YOu don't wear white to the wedding unless that's the color scheme the bride has chosen. I've gotten over it, I mean it's so not worth resenting all these years later, but my mother never did, she is still angry about it and still brings it up from time to time...

proudmother1

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 6:48 am

amother wrote:

Interesting concept.

I find that it is so much easier to forgive something that was done to you, than something that hurt your children.

mommyla

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 6:49 am

amother wrote:

That's why I said that my comment wasn't directed at you. Obviously you didn't pick a color scheme. But Kitten said that she's seen other SILs in white, and I was explaining that it's not always the SILs' choice.

Kitten

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 6:58 am

mommyla wrote:

I don't know whose choice it was, but it's true that sometimes kallahs pick a color theme. My youngest sister wanted me dressed in beige. I did it but I would have preferred another color.

Chayalle

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 7:16 am

My girls have worn cream jumper gowns to some cousin's weddings, however they are kids' styles. I didn't know it was such a big deal. Next time I'll try to find out if the bride minds.

Kitten

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 7:24 am

Chayalle wrote:

My girls have worn cream jumper gowns to some cousin's weddings, however they are kids' styles. I didn't know it was such a big deal. Next time I'll try to find out if the bride minds.

A cream gown for a girl is different than an adult, family or not, wearing a puffy white kallah gown.

amother

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 7:28 am

When DD was getting married, she made it known that she will be wearing a white slim, not puffy gown.

My sister was planning to wear an off-white floor length gown. I let her know that this would bother me.
She countered that this is in style now and I'm old-fashioned with my ideas. (And she already owned the dress from before)

I let her know that its good to know, and I was happy that DD would have another use for her wedding gown - IYH at her daughter's wedding. (MY DDs cousin)

I guess she got the message. She shortened her gown, and wore it as dress.

Raisin

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 7:43 am

Its actually hard to find little girls bridesmaid dresses/flower girl dresses in anything but white.

But I agree an adult/teenager wearing a long white dress is rude. I guess some people aren't aware, or think it is a simple enough style that it doesn't matter.

amother

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 8:36 am

Chayalle wrote:

My girls have worn cream jumper gowns to some cousin's weddings, however they are kids' styles. I didn't know it was such a big deal. Next time I'll try to find out if the bride minds.

Nothing wrong with a kid wearing a puffy white gown. Also nothing wrong with an adult wearing a white knee length dress. The problem is when an adult wears a white floor length gown.

Fox

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 12:37 pm

Part of the problem may be that the "rule" about wearing white to a wedding usually went hand-in-hand with a rule about not wearing black to a wedding. When the no-black-at-weddings rule went out the window, many people assumed the no-white-unless-you're-the-bride rule went out with it.

Personally, I would love to get away from color schemes and elaborate outfits for family members. I've been to plenty of chassunahs where I fully expected Neil Patrick Harris to appear from behind the chuppah to join in a musical number with the participants.

proudmother1

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 12:40 pm

Fox wrote:

I wore black to my daughter's wedding. I did not see any reason not to.

http://www.imamother.com/forum.....ight=

But I see a good reason not to wear a long white gown to a wedding if you are not the Kallah.

greenfire

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:24 pm

https://www.google.com/search?.....dii=_

it's not an unheard of phenomenon ... it's even a trend - however one must okay it with the bride [& make sure she is able to tell you the truth]