I don't want to stop nursing my 2 year old

amother

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 1:57 pm

I have a two year old that I am still nursing, but I am on birth control so I am not nursing to prevent pregnancy. one of the reason I am still nursing is because my son likes it, and it keeps me thin. but a couple of times he tries to open up my blouse and says "nursy"
I guess I should stop nursing him, because no one in our community nurses for a long time.
I don't want to though, but he doesn't understand that we don't do that in public
what should I do?

boysrus

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:05 pm

what difference does it make taht 'nobody in our community does it'?
you dont need ot do what everyone else does, yo need ot do what is right for you!
if you are worried about halachicly, you should know that I once asked my chareidi rav if it is okay to nurse a son past age 2, he said that until age 3 is no problem whatsoever.

I nurse my babies until 2.5 if they want it, just keep reminding him that only at home, only at certain times and if that doesnt work, tell him that 'the mommy milk will all go away if youkeep lifting my top!

smss

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:06 pm

that's so great that you're still nursing him. it's so good for him! please don't stop just because no one else does it.

I think that 2 years old is old enough to teach him that we only nurse at home, not in public. and that he can't open your shirt. be firm and be consistent.

the world's best mom

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:14 pm

I just stopped nursing my 2 year old, at 28 months old. I don't know of many people in my community who nursed that long. When I told people I was still nursing him, I got some funny looks and comments. Who cares? We do what is best for our children, not for our nosy neighbors.

mommy3b2c

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:15 pm

I'm not sure why you care what everyone else does. Up until three it is perfectly fine. After that, it is inappropriate. My son you used to tell me "mommy nurse". People told me it was gross. I told them to mind their own business.

smss

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:19 pm

mommy2b2c wrote:

I'm just curious where you got this specific age cutoff from?

Dolly Welsh

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:22 pm

You are probably naturally thin, that's your build. You are an ectomorph. You would be thin even if you weren't nursing.

The kid is too young to know what "in public" means.

Natural weaning is taking place. You are saying 'no' to him. He will get the point and go on to something else. Don't worry.

You can't stay indoors all day.

This isn't a big problem.

mommy3b2c

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:23 pm

smss wrote:

I'm just curious where you got this specific age cutoff from?

My personal opinion. Also, most of the western world's opinion.

cityofgold

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:25 pm

Could you try to start calling it something else? I've heard people say that it's less embarrassing in public (since people look so askance at older nursers) if the child says a made-up word or just "milk" instead of nursing.

Imi8

Fri, Nov 07 2014, 10:38 am

I nursed my youngest till she was 3 1/2. I didn't speak openly about it. Once I asked her:

"What's more yummy: ice-cream or mommy's milk?"

Her answer:

Mommy's Milk!

GetReal

Fri, Nov 07 2014, 10:52 am

My two year old is old enough to understand when I tell her, we nurse only at home. And in Shulchan Aruch the cut off for healthy children is 4. My baby loves it so I don't feel any pressure to stop.

pause

Fri, Nov 07 2014, 12:22 pm

When I read the title of your op, before even opening the thread, my immediate reaction was "so don't"
After reading your post, I still maintain, "so don't".

There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing. No reason to feel embarrassed by doing something that is beneficial for everyone involved.

I know ppl who have nursed way longer than 2. Chassidishe women. They do it in the privacy of their home, so you wouldn't know about it. Just keep telling your child, "not now, when we come home." eventually he'll get it.

Dolly Welsh

Fri, Nov 07 2014, 12:41 pm

It hurts so much to stop nursing. Emotionally. You feel like you lost a besty.

But it's part of parturition and normal.

They have to go on and out.

First they leave your body, then your bosom, then your house, and often, your region.

Every outward circles.

But the thread is always there. They are always your kid.

At each step, do your Lamaze. Breathe deeply and shake out your extremities.

It hurts but it means the system is working. It is the only life hurt that does not mean something is wrong.

amother

Fri, Nov 07 2014, 1:30 pm

OP, I was also torn between stopping or continuing to nurse when baby was 2. I'm not using nursing for bc purposes. It doesn't make me thin either (I retain water from it). But it works for us so I was hesitant.
At the end, baby stopped asking for it in public which really helped me continue. And I decided who cares if I start her in playgroup and she's still nursing? So what if I toilet train before I wean? I'm just taking it one day at a time again.
Is it weird? Probably for the outside world. But for us it's just is what it is.

MaBelleVie

Fri, Nov 07 2014, 3:59 pm

If you enjoy it and he enjoys it there's really no reason to stop. I agree that most two year olds can be trained to only do it at home, or only at certain times of the day. Be prepared to distract him in the beginning when he asks in public and you (gently) refuse.

granolamom

Sat, Nov 08 2014, 8:26 pm

no need to stop nursing if its working for both of you, but maybe its time to teach him better 'table manners'.
I taught my kids to sign 'milk' by the time they were 6 months old, that was our word for nursing, so that helped in public. they still tried to reach up my shirt now and then but youve got to teach them thats not ok and they wont get anything by doing that. same as if they threw a spoon at you every time they wanted some yogurt. not good manners.
I loved nursing, and it kept me thin too. the extra cup size was nice too. enjoy it while it lasts Smile

when its time to wean you will know. you'll be ready, perhaps it will still be bittersweet, but you'll feel that the time has come.
and I think this is a good place to re-post that poem 'wean me gently' if I can find it

here's a link http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01......html

black sheep

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 1:06 am

granolamom wrote:

wow that poem made me cry. thank you for posting it.

amother

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 7:32 am

op here
I know my child, and I don't think he understands that we can only nurse at home, and if I have other people in the house? I get nervous in public if he is tired and he pulls at my shirt and says "nursy"
but reading that poem made me cry, and I am so not ready for another baby so now I really don't want to let go
but I don't feel comfortable when he pulls on my shirt in public
I know eventually I will have to stop, but I don't know if I should push it off, or just let go...

granolamom

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 1:11 pm

Do you think he can understand that you only nurse in specific spots? Say for example, the rocking chair and your bed (or wherever you like but choose a few specific spots). When he asks to nurse when you're out you say 'we'll nurse in the chair when we get home' and if you stick with it he should be able to understand that soon enough. If you have guests at home and he asks you can either excuse yourself for a few moments..you can also teach him that he gets quickie nurse during the day and set an egg timer the ones with sand are best so he can see the time go or you can nurse for one song and sing to him...or you can tell him it's not nurse time now. Guests were hard for me, I found that my little ones would ask to nurse not so much for the bf but for the attention and break from the activity level in the house,