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L'chaims at wedding
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OOTBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 07 2014, 10:28 am
shabbatiscoming wrote:
Just wondering why its only important about the chatan's crowd and not the kallah's crowd?


In our circles (American Litvish Yeshivish), you don't see the women drinking much (make a cocktail or so) and certainly not getting drunk, so it didn't even dawn on me. Certainly may be different in other circles.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 07 2014, 10:30 am
I still don't understand why we assume all men are on the chassan's side?
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 07 2014, 11:35 am
I'm thinking they mean most boys will presumably be the chosson's friends - those are the ones drink the most - however, of course there are men from the kallah's side - they just won't be dancing on the kallah's side

but considering this is my family - chances are the girls' side will be drinking as well Drunken Smile
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ElTam




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 09 2014, 3:48 pm
FTR, I wasn't saying what you should do either way. We had open bar (beer and wine) at our wedding, even though it meant cutting back on other things, because we knew that our guests would enjoy and expect it. (Plus the bartender had a few bottles of hard liquor under the bar for guests I knew wouldn't drink either beer or wine.)

If you can afford it, and both sides agree, go for it.
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ElTam




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 09 2014, 3:51 pm
The only downside to having an open bar is that some people will not control themselves. In my case, someone's creepy husband made a lewd remark to me (I still can't remember how it worked out that I was alone for a second when he was around, but still shudder when I think what he said) and then proceeded to throw up in the bushes. Know your customers and make sure the bartenders will cut people off.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 09 2014, 4:10 pm
At most weddings I attended here in E"Y, there is a bar at the kabbalat panim, but hardly anyone orders liquor. Mostly water, sodas, etc.

There is usually wine on offer at the tables with dinner. Occasionally, someone will bring whisky for l'chaims. I have never seen anyone get drunk at a wedding.

IME, there is no difference between men and women in the above details.
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 09 2014, 4:22 pm
We had a full bar for all, both at the shmorg and the meal. That's what's done in my parents' circles, but it ain't cheap. I was not old enough to partake of the alcohol nor were most of my friends, so it really was for my parents, ILs, and their friends.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 09 2014, 8:02 pm
Are you doing FLOP? If so, I.e. chosson's side's paying, what do they say?
I really have to absent myself from this discussion as we had a few chasunas where happily, both sides were in agreement: NO Cheers .
Do what will bring true simcha to your guests, and not give room for overindulging, if a balance can be struck.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 6:36 am
I'm very wary of FLOP. Maybe just the name evocates a flop to me... I much prefer 50/50 (or diff if fewer guests) and everyone having a say on everything equally, also not giving the responsibility of alcohol/photographer/wtv to people who may have zero clue.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 6:45 am
Ruchel wrote:
I'm very wary of FLOP. Maybe just the name evocates a flop to me... I much prefer 50/50 (or diff if fewer guests) and everyone having a say on everything equally, also not giving the responsibility of alcohol/photographer/wtv to people who may have zero clue.


I agree with flop simply sounding like a catastrophe waiting to happen ... who thought of that name ?!

as for sharing responsibilities - I don't think it matters if anyone else has a clue, so long as the right people/professionals are hired - that after all is their job to make sure things flow
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 7:17 am
greenfire wrote:
I agree with flop simply sounding like a catastrophe waiting to happen ... who thought of that name ?!


FLPO
FOLP
FOPL
FPLO
FPOL
LFPO

Eh, forget it. I was going to list all the other permutations. It's beginning to look like a Briggs Myers personality test.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 7:19 am
POLF

[what's the O for] [aside fromwhere my mind is going]
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 7:21 am
greenfire wrote:
POLF


Points of Light Foundation? Plotzing on the laughing floor?
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OOTBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:55 am
greenfire wrote:
POLF

[what's the O for] [aside fromwhere my mind is going]


O = "Orchestra" -- the music
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 10:02 am
OOTBubby wrote:
O = "Orchestra" -- the music


Or One man band ;-)
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 10:06 am
OOTBubby wrote:
O = "Orchestra" -- the music


thanx for getting my mind out of the gutter
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chaos




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 7:34 pm
We did a full bar and we had mixed seating so everyone could partake equally. Best decision ever. We were fortunate that we were able to afford everything we wanted for the wedding, but if it came down to having to make tougher budget choices, we would have prioritized bar over decor (eg flowers, chuppah decorations, etc), and over our own wedding attire. Getting everyone to be dancing, celebrating, happy, etc was way more important to us than looking perfect in our photos, and we knew our crowd well and knew a full bar would be money very well spent.
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