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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section
How much does it cost to marry off a child?



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amother


 

Post Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:20 pm
I know that this varies tremendously from person to person . my question is approximately on average how much would it cost to me a no-frills frum wedding? How much does it run to set up a home with the basics?
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:29 pm
there are all types of weddings ... even frum weddings ... so you have to be adventurous enough to think outside the box aka chuppah

I suggest having the newly married couple set up their own home - now you just saved a lot of monies
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wife2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 06 2014, 2:31 pm
it also depends where you are located. halls in new york cost more than halls out of town while weddings in lakewood are generally cheaper than some other places
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 06 2014, 4:01 pm
There are also various cultural factors at play. If you're in Israel, a lot of people will bring checks to "cover their plate", that is considered proper wedding guest etiquette. In America, it is common to register and she will likely get a good amount of household items as gifts. I'm not saying this because you should expect tons of gifts, but simply pointing out that based on local culture, gifts may come into play. Furniture is something you will likely have to buy, but that can go so many different ways- must you shell out for top of the line everything? Or will IKEA do? Or second hand?
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out-of-towner




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 06 2014, 5:19 pm
Also, depends on the kind of gifts that people will give. My husband and I come from circles where people were going to be giving us gifts, so I registered for most of my housewares and got them B"H from very generous family and friends. This included my pots, pans, china, silverware, bakeware, and other things of that nature including linen. The only things that my parents bought for our house was beds and a couch (also a washer/dryer that we had to buy as part of our lease and were later able to sell). Other than that, we started out with a folding table and cheap Amazon bookcases.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 06 2014, 5:39 pm
"No frills" and "basic" are very subjective terms. How many people? What kind of food? What kind of venue? What kind of decor? What kind of entertainment? Etc
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proudmother1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 06 2014, 5:47 pm
Whatever you think now, it will be more.
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 06 2014, 11:53 pm
morah wrote:
There are also various cultural factors at play. If you're in Israel, a lot of people will bring checks to "cover their plate", that is considered proper wedding guest etiquette.

Has anyone ever done research into how good Israelis are at guessing the price of "a plate"? Of course we're all experts on prices, but how well do we actually do? OK, forget we, but the people who were born here ...
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Sanguine




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 07 2014, 12:41 am
morah wrote:
If you're in Israel, a lot of people will bring checks to "cover their plate", that is considered proper wedding guest etiquette.
This makes me sick Puke . (I know it's the "rule"). I have to give a bigger gift cause you want a fancier party?? I give the couple a gift for their new life together. If they want/have to use it to pay off for their wedding, that's their business but I'm an invited guest and my gift (which basically covers our meals at a regular hall), has nothing to do with the fanciness of the wedding party. OK, that's my rant for the day. - I also don't think I have to give a larger Bar Mitzva gift when someone makes a weekend Bar Mitzva. You "need" the extravagant Bar Mitzva, I guess you can afford it.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 07 2014, 12:52 am
proudmother1 wrote:
Whatever you think now, it will be more.


SO TRUE!!!!! When we made our first simcho, we set aside what seemed like a LOT of money (and we did not make an extravagant simcho). I was shocked that we used every cent of it shock
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 07 2014, 2:22 am
I give more to smaller/cheaper/poorer parties. Smile
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 07 2014, 2:55 am
Sanguine wrote:
This makes me sick Puke . (I know it's the "rule"). I have to give a bigger gift cause you want a fancier party?? I give the couple a gift for their new life together. If they want/have to use it to pay off for their wedding, that's their business but I'm an invited guest and my gift (which basically covers our meals at a regular hall), has nothing to do with the fanciness of the wedding party. OK, that's my rant for the day. - I also don't think I have to give a larger Bar Mitzva gift when someone makes a weekend Bar Mitzva. You "need" the extravagant Bar Mitzva, I guess you can afford it.

Never said I agree with it, but that's what it is. I don't even live in Israel and I know about the cover-the-plate thing. Obviously, if your standard is to give 100 shekel as a gift, keep giving that, even if you go to a wedding that was 1000 shekel per plate. I was just saying that if you're making a wedding in Israel, you are likely to get significant monetary gifts, whereas elsewhere, you are likely to get significant household gifts. You may get no gifts if you come from a place where gifts are not done. These things vary widely.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 07 2014, 5:44 am
I've been told 30,000 minimum and only up. Including vort, presents, wedding, setting up the house, clothing, etc.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 07 2014, 5:55 am
Our chasuna cost less than a $1000, everything included: small hall in Brooklyn, dress, sheitel, etc., except the wedding ring. Some guests gave us gifts of money, so it helped pay for the expenses.
Nobody helped us to set up a home and we are still lacking so many basics. We were broke and still are, but at least we're happy together, B"H.
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