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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
greenfire
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 Mon, Nov 10 2014, 3:47 am
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this seems to be something new - I thought only chassidish people cover their hair by a wedding ... yet the rav asked my daughter to - vus herr tzuch
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shabbatiscoming
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 3:55 am
| greenfire wrote: | | this seems to be something new - I thought only chassidish people cover their hair by a wedding ... yet the rav asked my daughter to - vus herr tzuch | different minhagim.
most/many cover with the veil.
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greenfire
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 4:00 am
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a veil is quite different from a sheitel & I thought that custom was not inclusive of the wedding - till after the next day
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animeme
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 4:19 am
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Different minhagim/psaks. My very yeshivish/litvak cousin wore just the veil at the chuppah and a sheitel after the yichud room.
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PinkFridge
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 4:34 am
| animeme wrote: | | Different minhagim/psaks. My very yeshivish/litvak cousin wore just the veil at the chuppah and a sheitel after the yichud room. |
And my fairly yeshivish Litvak self didn't wear a sheitel till after the chasuna.
I think I would follow the rav. (For sure the sun. For tomorrow may rain.)
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greenfire
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 4:37 am
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imho ~ you cannot put too many stringencies [especially if it's the rav's stringencies rather than the k'hal] on a young couple veering to the left ... they will turn around & run run run
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Ruchel
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 4:50 am
All minhag.
Don't make me post frum pre-war pics of rebbishe kallos in clear veil and frum non chassidish kallos sans veil... lol.
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PinkFridge
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 6:09 am
| greenfire wrote: | | imho ~ you cannot put too many stringencies [especially if it's the rav's stringencies rather than the k'hal] on a young couple veering to the left ... they will turn around & run run run |
ITA.
But I assumed this is a rav who knew the kids. If she's covering her hair after marriage anyway, it might not be too much of a leap for her.
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grace413
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 6:34 am
| PinkFridge wrote: |
I think I would follow the rav. (For sure the sun. For tomorrow may rain.) |
Thanks for the laugh.
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Lady Godiva
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 6:42 am
Is the Rabbi Chasidic? I've never heard of non-Chasidim covering their hair at the chupah.
We should start a new forum on Imamother called "Greenfire's DD's Wedding." 
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amother
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 6:44 am
There are a few different opinions on when to cover the hair based on when one is considered married:
1. right before the chuppah - considered married once the ring is placed on the finger which is kiddushin (these people cover before so that as soon as they are considered married their hair is already covered.)
2. At the yichud room
3. After chosson and Kallah have been together - either right away or the next morning - considered eirusin
When it is done is dependent on the community or family minhag. The Rav should be spoken to respectfully and explained it is not your minhag. He cannot demand you take on his family minhag, especially if it will turn away the Kallah from covering her hair.
My family follows the minhag of once chosson and Kallah are together. However, my great grandmother's sister's descendants follow a different minhag. They wear a shaitel with a few strands of hair sticking out but under the veil and right after the chuppah the few strands are tucked in under the sheital. Still trying to figure out how they got that minhag as my great grandmother helped raise her baby sister after their parents had passed away. And it couldn't have come from her husband's side as I know his family's descendants and none of them do it. They claim it was passed from mother to daughter - then I would have the same minhag.
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kb
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 6:51 am
When I got married, my in laws requested that I wear a sheitel to the wedding because that is their minhag. I did, but my father's rav told him afterwards that really until after that night I had the right to maintain my own minhagim.
So yes, non-chassidim do cover their hair at their wedding (I left some of mine out just to make me feel better about the situation).
The big question that I keep seeing over and over in your posts is what is worth fighting about, and where is it worth learning to just give in without making a big deal about something? It's one night.
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OOTBubby
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 6:58 am
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I believe it is also a yekkishe minhag and is common in some yeshivish circles.
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Kitten
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 7:02 am
I've seen many chasunas, including chassidishe ones, where the kallah does not cover, apart from wearing a veil for the chuppah. I don't know if the transparent veil many kallahs wear for the whole simcha is considered a type of covering.
Minhogim apart, just for practical reasons, it might be easier to cover the hair during the whole time.
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dee's mommy
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 7:55 am
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I know a couple of friends of mine did for their chuppahs. They explained it was because the mesadar kedushin required it.
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Frumdoc
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 11:26 am
Normal in our community, definitely not chassidish at all. I did, my sisters did, all the weddings I went to where the kallah ended up covering her hair fully, wore a sheital from before the chupah.
But do what makes you comfortable within the parameters of halacha. If she doesn't want to, she needs to tell her rabbi and discuss it like an adult.
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sky
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 12:37 pm
My DH is yekke and they do cover for chuppah.
My family didn't know the minhag, so my parent's did like their community and my mother covered only after the chuppah.
When I got married I was told that it is best for a kallah to do like her husband's minhag, but if it bothers her she may do like her parents.
Covering the entire wedding seemed better then covering only after the chuppah to me.
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penguin
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 1:24 pm
Note I was told (and I can't necessarily find a source) that if the kallah does not wear a sheitel, she should keep her veil on when leaving the hall (to show she is a kallah?). I personally wore a hat (and a dress) when leaving the hall, because I didn't feel like showing up at the hotel in my gown and headpiece.
(Sefardim have this practice - they change into a "going away outfit" with hat before leaving the hall.
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miami85
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Mon, Nov 10 2014, 4:31 pm
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My husband's yeshiva--not chassidish requires the kallah to wear a shaitel by the wedding. I've heard that majority of the yeshivishe world holds by the opinion that the hair is not considered ervah until the marriage is consummated.
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