covering kallah's hair by chuppah ?

zaq

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 4:40 pm

penguin wrote:

Note I was told (and I can't necessarily find a source) that if the kallah does not wear a sheitel, she should keep her veil on when leaving the hall (to show she is a kallah?). I personally wore a hat (and a dress) when leaving the hall, because I didn't feel like showing up at the hotel in my gown and headpiece.

(Sefardim have this practice - they change into a "going away outfit" with hat before leaving the hall.

What--people leave the hall in gown and veil? Why on earth? Even secular brides change into a "going away outfit" after the reception.Unless you are being whisked off in a chauffeured limousine--and even if you are--why would you want to stay in your gown instead of changing into something more comfortable and appropriate for travel, even if you are only traveling a short distance? Most people I know would davka not have wanted all and sundry--especially not hotel staff and guests-- to know it's their wedding night. I cannot think of a single kallah of my acquaintance who stayed in her gown once the party was over.

There is no need to show the world you are a kallah. The veil stays on because now you are married and the veil is a head covering.If you put on a hat you don't need the veil. Some brides wear a bridal hat with a separate veil that is put on for the ceremony and removed afterwards. That kind of thing goes in and out of style.

Kitten

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 5:18 pm

zaq wrote:

I cannot think of a single kallah of my acquaintance who stayed in her gown once the party was over.

I did. First, I don't know where I would have changed. Second, the only day in my life I was wearing a beautiful dress, I certainly did not want to change back into my old worn out clothing. Third, I was so happy to be a kallah, I wouldn't have minded if the whole world knew.
I wore a veil only for the chuppa. I wore a sheitel for the whole chasuna.
We did not have any car or limo service.
Zaq, if you wear a veil or a bridal hat even if you change into regular clothing, it still screams kallah.

out-of-towner

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 5:19 pm

zaq wrote:

Now you know one who did!

Honestly, I would not have wanted to change...to find a special "going away" outfit would have been just one more thing to spend money on. I liked showing the world that I had just gotten married! I was so excited! I wasn't going very far away either. Also, it was nice to spend time later on with my husband in my wedding gown. We didn't spend much time in the Yichud room, and it was special.

chaos

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 5:47 pm

I did change after the wedding because I didn't want to mess up my dress....but I really wanted everyone to know I was a bride! DH and I were hungry after the wedding and didn't want to deal with unpacking the leftovers from the caterer so we went out for burgers. I kept patting my wedding updo (I've never covered my hair and don't intend to) and preening like a peacock, waiting for someone in the burger place to notice and wish us a mazal tov. DH made fun of me for acting ridiculous, but I felt beautiful and happy and wanted to keep enjoying the well-wishes and mazal tovs.

tryinghard

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 7:31 pm

zaq wrote:

zaq wrote:
I cannot think of a single kallah of my acquaintance who stayed in her gown once the party was over.

My kallah teacher mention that (I think??) Rebbetzin Zahava Braunstein a'h used to say, everyone else gets to see and appreciate you as a princess, and your chasan shouldn't? Because, realistically, he doesn't have that much time at the wedding to do so Very Happy

And for those who are worried about tznuis - you are freakin newly married, they can tell in a second even without the long white dress!

As for Chofetz Chaim, DH's Rosh Yeshiva (in a branch of Chofetz Chaim) would prefer that the kallah cover her hair, but I didn't want to so he said as long as my hair was tied back for the chuppa it was fine.

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 7:44 pm

greenfire wrote:

I know I left the hall with my gown on ~ if you're dressing up - you might as well have FUN with it ...

This.

The DD might want a turban wrap that matches or coordinates with her dress, made out of the same fabric.

Or she might want a synthetic dark wig. They look fantastic. Look at the non-model, customer photos.

http://www.voguewigs.com/pictu......html

http://www.voguewigs.com/pictu......html

dancingqueen

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 8:10 pm

zaq wrote:

Most everyone I know did leave their wedding in their gown. I don't even understand why one would change unless they specifically don't want peoples well wishes.

Ps- you also can get an upgrade to a better room while wearing a bridal gown.

cbsmommy

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 10:31 pm

I was told that I had to cover once I was no longer an apparent new bride. So as long as my hair was in an updo and I was wearing my dress I didn't need to cover because it was obvious that I was a bride. I was told that my veil was not a real cover and so I could take it off after the chuppah if I so desired. Since I had a cathedral veil, I chose to take it off.

m in Israel

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 10:50 pm

I'm another one who left the chasuna in my gown. We weren't going to a hotel in any case -- we went straight home to our apartment. It was exciting walking in to our new home in our chasuna clothing, and honestly it never occurred to me to get a "going away" outfit.

As far as the covering hair, as many others have mentioned, R' Henoch Leibowitz, tz"l, the RY of Chofetz Chaim held very strongly that a woman was obligated to cover her hair after the kidushin (the first part of the Chuppah), which obviously means she would need to be wearing a covering for the chuppah. He would only be mesader kidushin if the Kallah was wearing a sheitel. Most of his talmidim therefore hold the same way. But other than in Chofetz Chaim circles, I believe most litvish yeshivos do not hold that way and most don't put on a covering until the next morning.

zohar

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 8:27 am

If I understand correctly, in general, chassidish women who cover their hair by the chuppa, do so because of minhag, and litvish women who cover their hair do so because of halacha. The minhag in my chassidish family is to have the hair uncovered till the next morn. and the chassidish mesader kidushin was fine with it. But my dh originally hoped his litvish Rosh Yeshiva would be mesader kedushen, but he wasn't able to make it in the end. He did have the requirement that the kallah have her hair covered, and if he would have been the mesader kidushin, I would have covered my hair. Since the mesader kidushin is responsible to make sure the wedding is done properly according to halacha. It is his right to have conditions such as these. You do not have to use him though