beg,borrow or steal

DrMom

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 2:00 pm

greenfire wrote:

WE have no shaychus to lakewood ... it's NOT happening

we're already cutting the wedding in half ... for preference of kids & for convenience of monies [or lack thereof]

I agree that it makes no sense to schlep to Lakewood to save $ on a wedding. (California to Lakewood? If your family if living in CA, I guess that's one way to keep the guest list under control -- nobody will come!)

Someways to save:
- e-invites instead of printed invitations/postage
- rented/gemach gown
- dj instead of band
- silk instead of fresh flowers
- minimal centerpieces (candles, do-it-yourself centerpieces made from photos of the couple, etc.)

It's hard to save $ with food for kosher weddings. Can you do a brunch instead of dinner? Or cut out a course?

chaos

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 8:02 pm

greenfire wrote:

seems like even making a minimum wedding cost thousands of dollars ... at what point do you beg, borrow or steal for one day

right now a barbeque in the back yard seems more practical ...

does it make a difference in your opinion in the future lives of the new couple - or is it all just frivolous

Our initial idea actually was to do a barbecue in the park! It wound up not working out due to various logistical issues with our crowd, but if you can pull it off and it'll save you money, I say go for it!

boysrus

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 10:46 pm

Greenfire, I dont know if you remember when franticfrummie set up a 'donate' page to send her daughter to camp. If you felt okay doing a similar thing then I am certain that lots of us here would be happy to donate whatever we could manage to help you out . We are all your friends and know that you are on a tight budget. Everything costs a lot - even toilet paper is expensive these days Wink

Seriously, there are plenty of people out there who like to help out like this. Let us know if you need our help...

greenfire

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 6:54 am

boysrus wrote:

Seriously, there are plenty of people out there who like to help out like this. Let us know if you need our help...

remember that good ole TP problems ... well we've been out for a week - thanx I could use some just about now

a definite maybe [how does that work ?]

[will I have to give up my name on the name poll thread]

greenfire

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 6:55 am

chaos wrote:

it's not the right weather - or we certainly would

Iymnok

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 7:10 am

greenfire wrote:

it's not the right weather - or we certainly would

Put up a tent and write "guests are asked to bring parkas" in place of "pleaser dress modestly" on the invite.

saw50st8

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 7:12 am

Find a venue that's a bit of a drive and do a Sunday morning wedding. You can get away with cheaper food (dairy, if you are willing) and the hall can host an evening wedding so they fill a slot that doesn't usually fill.

For flowers: concentrate on the important parts. For me, that was my bouquet being beautiful and having flowers for the chupah. We had nothing on the tables at all and no one noticed.

Skip purchasing benchers - there are usually gemachs where you can borrow if needed.

greenfire

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 7:22 am

we really are thinking outside the box with many of the above suggestions ...

afternoon vs night in unique venue aka as not a 'jewish hall'
skipping the first 1/2 of the wedding - you know the boring part where everybody is waiting & waiting
buffet instead of sit down meal [it stretches further]
one man band
only kallah will have flowers
selfies
computerized diy invites & no rsvp cards
byob Cheers

amother

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 7:31 am

amother wrote:

Another thing .... you might not believe this now but you will probably post after the wedding that this fact is true: Somehow, even families with no money end up coming through and making a nice wedding. No one can actually explain it but without realizing it, Hashem will send you the money you need. Please confirm after the wedding that this was true for you too!

Some of those people can explain it. Checks from a local hachnasas kallah gemach and quiet fundraising.

chaos

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 7:57 am

greenfire wrote:

Re: invites, skip paper invites entirely, get a wedding website and have the guests RSVP online. There are free and paid versions of the website depending on what you need, but it saves money on invites and postage and your guests can RSVP easily, which will save you a lot of headaches.

Re: selfies, I believe Storymix media can take footage shot by family/friends and turn it into a professionally edited video if that is of interest. http://www.storymixmedia.com/weddingmix/

DrMom

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 8:11 am

Is there an out-of-the-box venue that is affordable? A university with a nice hall? An art gallery? A hall in a state park?

Can you tell us in which state you live?

doctorima

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 9:26 am

DrMom wrote:

Is there an out-of-the-box venue that is affordable? A university with a nice hall? An art gallery? A hall in a state park?

Can you tell us in which state you live?

I believe she lives in Cleveland, Ohio.

Raisin

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 9:43 am

Right, you can print your own invitations really cheaply. For my dds basmitzvas I bought nice cardstock and printed 4 invitations per page. Cut them up and put in nice matching envelopes. They looked great. I don't know if I would do evites...not everyone is online, and some people don't like not getting paper invites.

The only thing I would say is worth spending money on is a photgrapher, especially to take some nice pictures of the chassan and kallah and the family. But you really don't need one around for the dinner and dancing, anyone can take those pictures.

Personally I enjoy out of the box weddings way more. Am I invited? Smile

sky

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 10:06 am

Iymnok wrote:

Put up a tent and write "guests are asked to bring parkas" in place of "pleaser dress modestly" on the invite.

Party tents are expensive to setup. Especially in the winter when you have to worry about wet floors and cold weather. A shul hall would be much cheaper to rent.

33055

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 10:06 am

What about GoFundMe or an Internet appeal if the fees are too high? Those that have Facebook can put up a link. They are always collecting door to door in Monsey for chasunahs. Yael let another poster do this for summer camp.

sky

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 10:10 am

Idea: 5 Foot subs. Most Bakeries can make large 5 foot subs with advance notice [You need a minivan with the seats down to pick it up). stuff with deli and stick fancy toothpick in each slice with an olive. Makes for an easy buffet food and it it looks really neat.

Sandwich buffet
"house of Dogs" buffet

etc.

sped

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 1:33 pm

My friend made a very small meal right after the chupah - only a few invitees - and invited most people to dance later on. There they had a small,simple bar.

amother

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 4:38 pm

I am making a bar mitzva soon and trying to do it cheaply. We have a cheap hall with kitchen. Instead of hiring a caterer I am thinking of hiring waitresses and waiters and buying:

subs
cold cuts
hot dogs and buns
falafel, pitta, salads etc.
either stuff for a salad bar or salad ingredients which wait staff will cut up.
various dessert items. (cakes, cookies, pareve ice cream) I might hire someone to make a cake.

The only hot thing will be hot dogs, and maybe fried onions to go with it, which can be heated up really quickly. Maybe french fries baked in the oven as well.

greenfire

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 7:56 pm

Raisin wrote:

I found nice ivory card inexpensively - now I just have to figure out the fine lines

I was joking about the selfies [even if the kids weren't] ~ a good set of professional photographs are worth the cost of memories

YES you are invited !!! Mr. Green

southernbubby

Tue, Nov 11 2014, 8:24 pm

If most of your guests are local, you could just do the meal for the family and out of town guests and let whoever wants come to dance after the meal. Maybe some of your friends or your daughter's friends could help with sheva brachas, a shower or a shabbos kallah. Anyway, mazal tov and I am happy to see you planning a chassunah. Very Happy