Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section
Chassan and Kalla in yichud room forever.
1  2  3  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:07 am
Last night I was at a wedding.
They were in there for nicely over two hours. by the time they came out my kids were cranky and moody. I was so annoyed. I had a hard time bringing myself to dance with her. but I did.
I got married young and I know what raging hormones are. but at least I respected the fact that people made an effort to share my joy with me.
I found this so immature and inconsiderate.
where is such behavior coming from?
Back to top

Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:09 am
amother wrote:
Last night I was at a wedding.
They were in there for nicely over two hours. by the time they came out my kids were cranky and moody. I was so annoyed. I had a hard time bringing myself to dance with her. but I did.
I got married young and I know what raging hormones are. but at least I respected the fact that people made an effort to share my joy with me.
I found this so immature and inconsiderate.
where is such behavior coming from?


Pictures?
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:10 am
It didn't seem like it.
the photographer was in the hall with the guests.
and even if it were pics. it takes sooooooooo long??
Back to top

greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:11 am
totally agree - the yichud room is not a place to get to know your new chosson/kallah intimately ... weddings would be a lot shorter if some consideration were to be had - get out & greet your guests ... then go to your 'honeymoon suite'
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:11 am
Im not sure what the story was but before you judge: I was also in the yichud riom forever. Dead bored. Dying to get on with the wedding. But they werent done serving the meal and so we couldnt come out. Blame the waiters/caterer/hall - whoever you want... but it had zero connection to raging hormones
Back to top

Heyaaa




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:12 am
I think there's something you don't know about. I doubt they were doing it in the yichud room.
Back to top

Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:13 am
You don't know what was going on behind the scenes. Best not to judge.
Back to top

Heyaaa




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:14 am
I think there's something you don't know about. I doubt they were doing it in the yichud room. Maybe they got into a fight and almost broke it off....although I hope it's not that. Maybe her dress tore and they had to resew it or something like that. There are a million reasons it could have taken them that long and only one of them is because they were inconsiderate.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:15 am
you are right, I should not judge.
Back to top

JAWSCIENCE




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:22 am
Unless you were posted outside the yichud room door, you do not know how long they spent in there. What more likely happened was that they were in there for the standard amount of time and then spent two hours taking photos after. Most people do not allow the chatan and kallah to see each other before the chuppah and therefore the bulk of pictures get taken after the chuppah and yichud. Sometimes every family member pipes up wanting to take a picture with the chatan and kallah. It can take forever and is a real tircha on guests, but alas nobody wants to give up the minhag.

I was also at a wedding where the kallah had to use the bathroom before coming out to dance and her dress was such that we had to get her out of it and then back into it in order to accomplish it. That was an extra forty minutes....

Assuming they spent the time in the yichud time due to "raging hormones" is very inappropriate.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:23 am
op here-
just realized that my post sounds like I suspect them of going to far.
no not at all.
I was just thinking that were ingrossed in their first time being able to touch. thats all.
Back to top

Rutabaga




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:25 am
amother wrote:
It didn't seem like it.
the photographer was in the hall with the guests.
and even if it were pics. it takes sooooooooo long??


Many people have more than one photographer at a wedding to capture the action on both sides.

Not everyone takes group pictures before the chuppah because the chosson and kallah won't be in the same room. Sometimes family members don't show up in time for pictures before the wedding starts and then have to be located for pictures after the chuppah.

Sometimes there's a problem that needs to be resolved. I've heard of rabbonim discovering a problem with the wording or date of the ketubah or someone realizing that the eidim were actually related to each other and the whole ceremony had to be repeated privately.

There could be many reasons for a couple to be delayed coming out that have nothing to do with them. How about a little dan lekaf zechus?
Back to top

Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:37 am
amother wrote:
op here-
just realized that my post sounds like I suspect them of going to far.
no not at all.
I was just thinking that were ingrossed in their first time being able to touch. thats all.

Even suspecting them of that is inappropriate. If they were really gone for 2 hours, I would worry that something was wrong, not that they just couldn't keep their hands off each other.

It is possible that there was a second photographer photographing the families during these 2 hours. Though 2 hours is a very long time. I understand your frustration.
Back to top

Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:38 am
amother wrote:
Im not sure what the story was but before you judge: I was also in the yichud riom forever. Dead bored. Dying to get on with the wedding. But they werent done serving the meal and so we couldnt come out. Blame the waiters/caterer/hall - whoever you want... but it had zero connection to raging hormones


You were seriously "dead bored" in the yichud room? Confused
Back to top

shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:41 am
ive been to weddings where the chatan and kallah eat their first meal in the yichud room and only cone out for the last dance.
could you have been at such a wedding?
I was at a wedding once where something happened with the dress and the yichud room went on for much longer than it was supposed to.
you just never know.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:43 am
no we were waiting for them for the first dance to begin
Back to top

supty




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:50 am
I doubt they were in the yichud room for two hours. The standard at a wedding is to have about 15 mins in the yichud room and then take family pics for about 45 mins to an hour. They probably had another photographer. Usually people come knocking on the door rushing you out of the yichud room after about 10 mins or so.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:51 am
Lady Godiva wrote:
You were seriously "dead bored" in the yichud room? Confused


Yup. We're chassidish, I met ny husband exactly four times before then and spoke to him for less than five minutes a week during the engagement. There was only so.much to talk about and after the first hour....
Back to top

vintagebknyc




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:52 am
greenfire wrote:
totally agree - the yichud room is not a place to get to know your new chosson/kallah intimately ... weddings would be a lot shorter if some consideration were to be had - get out & greet your guests ... then go to your 'honeymoon suite'


/irony
Back to top

morah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 10 2014, 9:56 am
It really was probably pictures. Most photographers have a whole staff, so there could have been one doing the room with the guests while another took pictures with the family. 2 hours seems excessive but with a large family, I can see how it could happen. We both come from medium-sized families and we were gone an hour, so I assume a large family would be longer. Also, if they were fasting, they may have taken some time to eat. I can tell you, our yichud room was not that exciting, after a couple of kisses, we took the rest of our 10 minutes in there to eat in peace, because we knew it wasn't going to happen once we exited.
Back to top
Page 1 of 3 1  2  3  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

Related Topics Replies Last Post
ISO reasonable nice looking two sided desk for Sforim room
by amother
6 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 8:43 pm View last post
Making a room smell good
by amother
6 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 1:15 pm View last post
Looking to buy living room couch and chairs
by amother
15 Sat, Mar 23 2024, 11:53 am View last post
Large double height family room, 4" spots or 6" spots?
by amother
2 Mon, Mar 18 2024, 9:52 pm View last post
Requesting specific room/accommodations at parents/in laws 21 Sat, Mar 16 2024, 9:51 pm View last post
by zaq