sheva brochos | Imamother

greenfire

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 4:10 am

yay or nah [at least I didn't right neigh]

2 thought - does one really have to make sheva brochos all week long ... how boring will that get - not to mention crazy ... especially if one is making a small wedding - what if someone's sheva brochos are nicer than the wedding

thought 2 - how about a pizza party Tongue Out

Iymnok

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 4:27 am

Pizzas fine, all you need is hamotzi, and a minyan.
Pita and falafel is also okay... And PB&J. You can do it with 3 men and skip some of the brachos.
Here's a time to do your bbq!
Do all the ideas that didn't work for the wedding.
Do fondue!cheese and chocolate!

cityofgold

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 4:32 am

You don't have to make sheva brachos. I could be wrong on the details but I think that you only *have* to SAY (not make) sheva brachos if the new couple is eating hamotzi with a minyan of men.

My brother in law skipped one because they didn't feel like it. (I mean they planned to skip a day.) I think more people should do that...they're nice and all, but the chassan and kallah are usually exhausted, and it's such a financial strain on friends and family when there's just no need.

cityofgold

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 4:33 am

Also, I know someone who had one done by friends. They made an outdoor bbq. Costco hotdogs are cheaper than pizza!

greenfire

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 4:45 am

can't do a barbeque in the winter - cause it means making a fire outside & people sitting around it singing [okay I did one last week but it was a nice warm day]

greenfire

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 4:49 am

[quote="Iymnok"]Pizzas fine, all you need is hamotzi, and a minyan.
Pita and falafel is also okay... /quote]

pita & falafel is a great idea - along with chummus I think the kids will LOVE it !!!

especially cause they met in jerusalem grill where they make the stuff ...

Ruchel

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 6:03 am

Chalk it off to cultural, many many people around me didn't do the 7 especially if you mean halachically, minyan, etc. It's very hard to find all these people daily, the marrieds are tired or want to stay together... yeah, many even charedi just, don't.

amother

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 6:52 am

I think Sheva Brachos are optional. If the couple has a meal during that 1st week and says hamotzi where ten men are present, then the sheva brachos blessings are said. But I don't think there is any requirement to create the circumstances for a meal with a minyan present in the first place.

We did two nights of sheva brachos and left the second one and went on honeymoon. Best decision ever. I wanted a break from being around tons of people and people badgering me about logistics of a sheva brachos party and I just wanted to enjoy the beach with my husband. Anon because a lot of people know this story.

chaos

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 6:58 am

There is no requirement for all seven sheva brachos meals.
There is also no requirement that the meals be fancy. It depends on what whomever is hosting wants to do. I've seen bbq sheva brachos, sandwiches, even bagels for sheva brachos.

chaos

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 7:12 am

PS. Pizza and beer, (or even better, fancy gourmet pizza and wine) is pretty much my favorite meal. Can I come to your pizza & beer sheva brachos? Wink

Or, if y'all want to trek out to my location with lousy winter weather, I'll host the pizza & beer party sheva brachos!
Cheers

Ruchel

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 7:19 am

Yup. If requirements are met you say what you need to say etc. But there's no need to create the opportunity per se. Of course there must be tons of kabbalistic inyonim about it- but IRL, this is what I witness generally.

DrMom

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 8:14 am

In our community, friends and family members (not the ones who paid for the wedding) make 7brachot; the parents of the couple don't pay anything.

Raisin

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 8:48 am

one of the nicest sheva brochos I was at was a sunday morning brunch.

You can absolutely do really simple sheva brochos. Pizza, bagels etc. hopefully friends or relatives will offer to host some. If not I don't think you need to feel pressured to make them yourself, especially if the couple don't want.

working hard

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 11:29 am

One of my favorite Sheva Brachos was Sunday morning in someone's dining room. The menu was toast, eggs, butter, cereal and milk. Everyone was relaxed and it was so much fun. The total cost was under $30.
More people should try it.

greenfire

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 11:32 am

chaos wrote:

PS. Pizza and beer, (or even better, fancy gourmet pizza and wine) is pretty much my favorite meal. Can I come to your pizza & beer sheva brachos? Wink

Or, if y'all want to trek out to my location with lousy winter weather, I'll host the pizza & beer party sheva brachos!
Cheers

we'll be there - where is there ?

amother

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 12:13 pm

greenfire wrote:

can't do a barbeque in the winter - cause it means making a fire outside & people sitting around it singing [okay I did one last week but it was a nice warm day]

We once made an indoor bbq for a sheva brachos. The grill was right outside the house. All food was brought buffet style into the kitchen. Everyone ate around the dining room table. It was the cheapest sheva brachos we ever made and lots of fun too.

PinkFridge

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 12:17 pm

When our kids got married OOT and came back for sheva brachos, there was usually one day with no sheva brachos, traveling day.

greenfire

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 12:32 pm

amother wrote:

we don't have a back porch leading to the house ... we have a fire pit outside ... so it's not going to be conducive to a typical barbeque - not in the winter months ... there would be too much schlepping up & down & in & out

besides I don't even want to make sheva brochos ... I'm already worn out

& the kids are the ones who actually said they didn't want any - go figure What

PinkFridge

Thu, Nov 13 2014, 8:30 pm

greenfire wrote:

& the kids are the ones who actually said they didn't want any - go figure What

Some by their nearest and dearest friends, and other non parent people (I.e. not you or the machutaineste) might be nice.

ElTam

Fri, Nov 14 2014, 12:23 am

Maybe they said they don't want any because they feel all the stress surrounding the wedding. In general, friends of both sides make the sheva brachos. It's not the parent's responsibility.

Quote:

besides I don't even want to make sheva brochos ... I'm already worn out

I hope you didn't say this to the chosson and kallah. What are they supposed to say after that? "Sorry, we really want sheva brachos."

I've agreed with most of your wedding posts, but I can't agree with this one.