She thinks she's so much better than me

amother

Fri, Nov 14 2014, 4:20 am

I have a friend who's a writer. She acts like she thinks she's so amazing and I should bow down on my knees and kiss her toes to get permission to speak to her. It's really getting on my nerves. What's the big deal about being a writer?! Sometimes I want to tell her "yay for you, you entertain people AND have your name splashed all over your writing. A doctor saves lives and nobody knows."
Yes what I do isn't as glitzy as her job , does that make me any less? Does that mean she can speak to me the way she does ??? Like she's doing me a huge favor by even just looking at my direction?
The scary thing about this person is that when she walks outside she's all smiles and hugs to everyone she meets. But let me tell you, if you get closer you realize she's a total JERK. Maybe she had a personality disorder or something.
I'm really frustrated and angry right now.

Who does she think she is???

Thanks for listening

amother

Fri, Nov 14 2014, 5:12 am

amother wrote:

Wait, you're a Doctor and she, a writer? She is DEF jealous of you.

Haha, I'm not a doctor! That was just an example.
She's a weirdo all together, she has kids and I don't have kids yet and she treats me (or ignores me) like I'm not worth her time because I'm not in her leuge.

amother

Fri, Nov 14 2014, 5:14 am

Why do you feel she is like this B'Davka because she is a writer?? She sounds plain insecure or what not....but it doesn't sound like it has anything to do with her league vs. yours...it doesn't even seem personal at all...

amother

Fri, Nov 14 2014, 5:17 am

amother wrote:

It's 100 % personal. She even told me that she's not looking for friends like me (I don't come from a perfect background and I'm still going through a lot of stuff in my life) because xyz..
She SAID it.

imasinger

Fri, Nov 14 2014, 5:40 am

amother wrote:

So, flmommy's question makes even more sense.

Why are you thinking of her as a friend? As the saying goes, with friends like that, who needs enemies?

She isn't nice to you.

Some people are like that. Fame can play a part, but lots of famous people are able to retain derech eretz. Evidently, she isn't one of them, at least in her chemistry with you.

Smile politely when you see her, but don't call or text her, and keep your responses brief and cool when she reaches out to you. Eventually, the contact should end, without a fuss.

And please do not offer even a hint here of her identity. That would be l"h.

Do you have other friends you can spend more time with instead?

amother

Fri, Nov 14 2014, 5:49 am

I would never reveal her identity! Of course not!

Everyone assumes she's sweet and sensitive because that is what she sounds like through her stories. people that get closer would be shocked.
It's interesting how we don't really know people.
It's difficult seeing her all sweet and sugary and knowing it's so fake. But that's her business with Hashem. I just hope she doesn't hurt others the way she hurt me.

amother

Fri, Nov 14 2014, 7:50 am

I had a similar experience with one of the well known story writers. She comes across as so sensitive and insightful in her writing, but in real life tends to be abrupt and cold with people she's not interested in, yet warm and bubbly with people who fit her mold. I've always wondered how she's able to write her insightful stories with characters she would never deign to talk to in real life!

amother

Fri, Nov 14 2014, 8:11 am

amother wrote:

Exactly!!!!!!!!

greenfire

Fri, Nov 14 2014, 8:58 am

perhaps you should kiss her feet since that's what she wants ... or run run run

she is NOT better than you ~ sounds more like she uses other people to benefit her self-aggrandizement

Simple1

Fri, Nov 14 2014, 10:07 am

It sounds like she's more of an acquaintance than a friend. I really feel for you that you were snubbed. That is so not a good feeling.

But you seem focused on the fact that she's a writer. A writer is just that - a writer. Not the be-all-and-end-all. Even if you think she's good - some will like her writing some won't. (I personally don't even like fiction - you mentioned she wrote stories.) So some people are snobby - move on. You deserve better friends.

amother

Sat, Nov 15 2014, 11:03 am

Simple1 wrote:

You're right, she just makes me feel like I'm not good enough for her because we're so different (job wise and different life circumstances) and it's painful. It's just upsetting, and I needed to vent... Thanks for the understanding everyone.

amother

Sat, Nov 15 2014, 4:10 pm

amother wrote:

She's such a talented writer but I can no longer enjoy her story it makes me feel nauseous.
This whole situation upset me so much (I don't have such a high self esteem as it is!) that I decided I would no longer buy that weekly magazine, but of course that's ridiculous because there are plenty of other writers who are excellent, plus my family enjoys it.

Whatever

Some people are just mean.

I reported your post because it has too many identifying details. I feel bad for you and what you are going through, but if you really don't want to give away this person's idea, then stay away from the things that are not helping to explain your case. It almost sounds like you want people to know who she is so that she can be hurt back. Understandable, but not acceptable or justifiable.

amother

Sat, Nov 15 2014, 4:15 pm

You got to be kidding me. I would never ever want to reveal her identity! She might hurt me but I would never hurt her back, never. Not to mention that would be pure leshon hara.

What did I say that was revealing? That she has kids? That she writes in a weekly magazine? (I can name four big frum magazines and each has many many writers) and there are more than four. That's the only thing I said. And I'm happy to tell you I know at least 17 writers(from one magazine) I can name that fit this criteria. And I'm sure there are many many more.

amother

Sat, Nov 15 2014, 4:20 pm

amother wrote:

You got to be kidding me. I would never ever want to reveal her identity! She might hurt me but I would never hurt her back, never. Not to mention that would be pure leshon hara.

What did I say exactly that was revealing? That she has kids? That she writes in a weekly magazine? (I can name four big ones and each has many many writers) and there are more That's the only thing I said. And I'm happy to tell you I know at least 17 writers I can name that fit this criteria. And I'm sure there are many many more.

It could be, but how many weekly magazines are out there with female writes writing a weekly story? Why should people have to start wondering about the few that there are? What is your point in mentioning ANY of these details?

You made your point originally in saying what bothered you, and all this is just superfluous. It seems like the reason why you are stuck on the fact that she is a writer is because it really bothers you that she is known in the frum world and maybe you are even hoping that someone here has had the same experience with her.

amother

Sat, Nov 15 2014, 4:27 pm

My point of mentioning that was simply to show how little we can really know about people. Because they are so different than what one would think. I had no intention to c"v reveal her identity and I'm happy to edit that if you feel it's revealing. That was not my point at all.

Frumdoc

Sat, Nov 15 2014, 6:51 pm

I am concerned that revealing the facts that she is a well known writer for a popular frum weekly magazine will bring people to speculate on who she is and lead to LH.

I know 3-4 well known writers of serialized stories in such magazines, none of whom could possibly be the person you are describing, but you have narrowed down the pool of who this unpleasantly behaving person is to such a narrow pool that someone is bound to recognise her.

Sorry that you have been treated badly, but this is v close to LH.