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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Preschoolers
amother
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Sun, Nov 23 2014, 6:49 pm
My almost 4 year old daughter recently started having regular mini-accidents. Basically, her underwear is almost always wet. She typically holds in most of it so it's not like she's making puddles or anything like that, but her underwear and tights need to be changed several times a day. She typically refuses to go to the bathroom. She'll do her best to hold it in for as long as possible until eventually some leaks out. She was toilet trained about a year ago and was totally fine up until about 3 months ago.
Here are some of my observations:
1) whenever my 6 year old son has a friend over, my 4 year old reverts to baby talk and is absolutely certain to make in her underwear, even more than her typical amount.
2) when my 1.5 year old daughter is being super cute and getting lots of attention, my 4 year old mimics the baby talk again and acts like a baby.
3) my 4 year old is clearly jealous of my 1.5 year old and has been very aggressive with her lately (started around the same time as the regular accidents).
4) whenever my 4 year old daughter and 6 year old son play nicely together, she is much more likely to go to the bathroom nicely and stay dry (or mostly dry).
Now the question is: what do I do about it?!
Here is what I've tried:
1) spending tonnes of time with her alone. She still refuses to go to the bathroom when it's just us.
2) bribing with candy - doesn't work at all with her
3) bribing with stickers - more successful than candy, but I still need to bribe her every time that I see she's painfully trying to hold it in instead of just going to the bathroom. She will literally sit on the floor cross legged because it's easier to hold it in that way rather than when standing up, but she will refuse to go to the bathroom.
4) regularly reminding her what a big girl she is and how she gets to do so many big girl things that her little sister can't do (like sometimes going to shul with Tatty, going to school, chewing gum, opening the fridge, etc).
Nothing is working! Please help!
And by the way, I did get her urine checked out to make sure that she doesn't have any sort of infection - she is healthy, B"H.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 24 2014, 5:36 pm
Any suggestions? It's a very frustrating experience for us!
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Pashence
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Mon, Jan 26 2015, 9:13 am
we are dealing with a very similar situation!! very frustrating, and easily lead to power struggles, which end up having the opposite effect. haven't found an answer yet, but the closer we get to the root of the problem the quicker I hope it will get resolved...
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