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Judaism Must Embrace the Convert
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amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 24 2014, 10:47 pm
#2 most e-mailed on the NYTimes!

Judaism Must Embrace the Convert
By SHMULY YANKLOWITZNOV. 23, 2014

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — THE recent arrest of an Orthodox rabbi in Washington, who was charged with having watched women showering via a hidden camera installed at the mikvah, or ritual bath, at his synagogue, has drawn attention to the challenges faced by potential converts to Judaism. The scandal put a spotlight on the near-total control exercised by the rabbi over converts into the Jewish faith. The system lacks oversight. It leaves those wanting to become Jews vulnerable to exploitation.

The Jewish tradition has shunned the proselytizing propensities of our Abrahamic cousins, Christianity and Islam, but in doing so, it has seemed, to some, to embrace an ethos of exclusion. The fact that anyone with the drive and perspicacity to convert is allowed to do so is one of the most important checks on the Jewish conception of chosenness; being Jewish is not a genetic condition, but a complex hierarchy of identity and choice.

In theory, Judaism is an inclusive religion that is willing to welcome individuals who desire to become Jewish. The reality is far more complicated. The Israeli chief rabbinate rejects conversions it deems un-Orthodox. This includes Jews of less strict streams, like the Reform and Conservative movements in the United States, and also some Orthodox converts around the world.

Not long ago, Israel passed legislation that intended to make Jewish conversions less difficult. The bill’s final form, however, gave the chief rabbinate control over the approval of all conversion certificates; this compromise will result only in more bureaucratic mix-ups and disagreements about the converts’ legitimacy — and their right to invoke the Law of Return, by which countless Jews have found safe haven and refuge in Israel.

The Rabbinical Council of America, which oversees Orthodox conversions, strictly adheres to the chief rabbinate’s standards. For example, unmarried conversion candidates are often required to refrain from dating until their conversion is approved, a process that can take years. Many candidates are required to move to Orthodox neighborhoods and enroll their children in full-time private Jewish day schools — a formidable financial obstacle.

The difficulties faced by those yearning to convert is especially painful for me. This is because my father is Jewish, while my mother is Christian. I converted — twice. After learning the traditional significance placed on matrilineal lineage, I underwent a liberal conversion as an adolescent. Later I underwent a rigorous Orthodox conversion.

I chose not to share my journey previously because I am now an Orthodox rabbi and, unfortunately, Jews by choice are sometimes perceived as being less authentic or authoritative than those who are Jewish from birth. Many feel shame and choose not to reveal that they are converts out of fear of having their, and their descendants’, status and credentials questioned. As a teenager, I recall breaking down in tears during my first trip to Israel when others questioned my Jewish status. I was interrogated with the most personal questions about my beliefs, practices and relationships, by strangers who controlled my religious destiny; I felt powerless to challenge them.

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Current trends in Orthodox conversion are all in the wrong direction: Converts have to wait longer; their prior conversions are questioned; they are made to convert again before marriage; they are encouraged to distance themselves from non-Jewish relatives. While each rabbi needs the freedom to lead locally, there also need to be integrity boards to provide training and oversight, and serious standards for both the convert and the community. The legal standard for entry should be made more inclusive, and the standard for education and support made more rigorous.

The process needs to be performed with transparent expectations and timelines, no financial cost, greater respect for personal privacy, increased women’s leadership, broader ethical and spiritual parameters for eligibility and fair treatment of all candidates. Embracing a more pluralistic approach to Jewish identity requires a break from bureaucratic central authorities.

A small group of homogeneous Orthodox authorities, continuing to pursue more stringent requirements to the detriment of the wider and more diverse Jewish community, should not have the unchecked power to determine who can be a Jew. Nor should candidates need to fly across the country to meet a religious court because local authorities are not deemed worthy of handling the conversion. This grants too much authority to national and regional centralized powers and puts the inclusive nature of Judaism at risk. When a convert emerges from the mikvah, he or she should feel uplifted by a process of inclusion and holiness, not deflated by alienation and degradation.

Converts, like immigrants, should feel pride about their journeys and be viewed as courageous for responding to their transformative calling. Deuteronomy tells us, “You shall love the stranger as you were strangers in Egypt.” No other commandment is more essential to the moral destiny of the Jewish people.

Shmuly Yanklowitz, an Orthodox rabbi, is executive director of Valley Beit Midrash, an adult education and leadership development program, and president of Uri L’Tzedek, a social justice group.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 24 2014, 10:59 pm
Yup.

It's especially hard for those of us with Jewish fathers, Jewish grandparents, lifelong Jewish identities.

I also cried as a teen when I realized that in the USSR I'd be discriminated against as a Jew, in Nazi Germany I'd be murdered as a Jew, but in America I couldn't live as a Jew.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 2:16 am
Sequoia - do you think that conversion has gotten more difficult and that the community is less accepting, or just that now we're actually talking about it?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 2:46 am
What a skunk! What does it have to do with the NY Times! And it's all in his head no matter how many times he converted.

My dh is a ger tzedek and I know what I'm talking about. Having had only a Jewish father he was filled with Jewsh Identity and discovered it's all nothing only at the age of 18. He began inquiring here and there and went to EY where he met a wonderful old chassidish family who showed him around. I mean, showed him around Mea Shearim and telling all about Judaism, how hard but beautiful it is and it was them who told him about possible giyur.
He came back to Europe and began approaching the Jewish comminity there was. He began learning, davening but soon discovered that the rabbi was more of a Reform. Then he left and began searching for the better. He visited EY many times in the meanwhile and met the wonderful family again. They were supportive and even more supportive of his patience. His way of life didn't allow him to stay in EY at that times, so he had to wait and look. He couldn't use Beis Din in other countries because he didn't have someone to introduce him and there was much politics as well which involved not bothering with other citizens.
Soon he found a community gided by a Chabbad rabbi who embraced him wholely and enrolled to helping his community because of his intellect and abilities. It lasted years and years, because there was no Orthodox Beis Din around, but was awaited "any minute". It came but they saw him for the first time and couldn't do anything. Mind you, we're talking about 8 years in between! By then he looked and behaved like any ultra-orthodox Jew, his knowledge was immense, his yiras shomayim was immense. The second Beis Din meeting was held by yet a new Dayan, so there was nothing. The third... again. It happend only the fourth time around!
And still. When we got married, we lived in a strong charedi environment where they quiestioned the quality of his giyur because of the 'moving' Beis Din. He had to do a quick 'giyur lechumra' in EY, and he did. By Eda Charedit. This one was the easiest because by the look of him and by the talk of him and the multiple recommendations he had made it easy and perfect.
Is he distainful? No way! He's happy to be a Jew. He's sure this is the only way to become and be a Jew. Oh gosh, I'm so happy to be married to him.
That's why when I look at such 'convenience' geyrim I rage inside.
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grace413




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 4:25 am
Amother, you can disagree with someone without being rude. Calling people bad names is not acceptable.

I'm glad your DH is happy to be Jew. I have to disagree that living as a frum Jews for 8 years, then undergoing an Orthodox conversion, THEN undergoing a giyur l'chumr is an ideal situation.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 4:29 am
grace413 wrote:
Amother, you can disagree with someone without being rude. Calling people bad names is not acceptable.



Do you really think that a ger should have such a hight post? Do you really think that Jews should discuss and express their disagreement with the Jewish system in a non jewish newspaper? Do you really think that a ger should do this?
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 4:38 am
amother wrote:
Do you really think that a ger should have such a hight post?

Way to prove his point Confused .

What could possibly be wrong with a ger serving as a rabbi or a community leader?
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 4:39 am
amother wrote:
Do you really think that a ger should have such a hight post? Do you really think that Jews should discuss and express their disagreement with the Jewish system in a non jewish newspaper? Do you really think that a ger should do this?


Are you saying that a Jew by choice is actually less of a Jew and has less standing than a Jew by birth?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 4:47 am
ora_43 wrote:
Way to prove his point Confused .

What could possibly be wrong with a ger serving as a rabbi or a community leader?


It's against halachah. Exactly to be a community leader is wrong.
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 4:48 am
I almost entirely agree with the article.

One thing I thought was missing - the question of how a more lenient conversion process could be accepted by the Jewish world at large. I think conversion courts are trying to walk a fine line between not rejecting sincere candidates, while still keeping the process strict enough that nearly all orthodox Jews accept the conversion as valid.

IOW the problem isn't so much with the conversion courts as with frum society at large. We don't all agree on what makes a conversion valid, so how can conversion not be a confusing and unnecessarily complicated process?

And one other thing - I find it kind of odd when people talk about how they don't share something because the community would judge them. If you don't share, how can you know if people would judge you negatively? I think it really only makes sense to say "I don't share because I'm afraid that... " or "I did share, and now... " It doesn't make sense to criticize people for the reactions you think they would have had.

That goes for all kinds of things, not just conversion.
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 4:55 am
amother wrote:
It's against halachah. Exactly to be a community leader is wrong.

That's an... unusual interpretation of the halacha, from what I've learned. There are examples of geirim who were respected rabbis going back thousands of years.

There's a prohibition on a ger being king, which the chochamim expanded to include being head of the army and certain other top posts. But I don't think they expanded it to include heading a "leadership development program" or social justice group Confused .
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grace413




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 5:15 am
amother wrote:
Do you really think that a ger should have such a hight post? Do you really think that Jews should discuss and express their disagreement with the Jewish system in a non jewish newspaper? Do you really think that a ger should do this?


Whether I agree or disagree with the above points is irrelevant to the matter of referring to this person as a skunk.

I don't know anything about the post this person has. I know that there are some issues regarding "serrara" positions and converts but I don't know enough about it to have an educated opinion.

I think a ger is just as entitled to discuss his/her disagreement with the Jewish system as somebody born Jewish is. Thinking that this is not a good topic for discussion in non-Jewish media is a valid opinion but whether the person expressing the opinion is born Jewish or a convert is irrelevant.
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grace413




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 5:18 am
ora_43 wrote:


And one other thing - I find it kind of odd when people talk about how they don't share something because the community would judge them. If you don't share, how can you know if people would judge you negatively? I think it really only makes sense to say "I don't share because I'm afraid that... " or "I did share, and now... " It doesn't make sense to criticize people for the reactions you think they would have had.

That goes for all kinds of things, not just conversion.


Because they've seen other people in the community being judged unfavorably or have themselves been judged unfavorably in another community.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 6:02 am
He's gotten semicha 3 times (from 3 different Orthodox rabbis)! He is MORE than qualified to speak on these issues, both from personal experience and in his post as a rabbi. It seems like what you're saying is, if he were born Jewish, he could write this with no problem.. but owww.. because the *wrong* parent was Jewish he should be quiet.

BTW - declaring something "goes against halacha" is a pretty broad claim to make, and frankly, strikes me as anti-halachic.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 6:13 am
A ger should not have a leadership position because people often hate the leaders. There is a mitzvah to live the ger and him being a community leader can make him disliked.
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grace413




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 6:36 am
Iymnok wrote:
A ger should not have a leadership position because people often hate the leaders. There is a mitzvah to live the ger and him being a community leader can make him disliked.


There is also a mitzvah of "ve'ahavta l'rayecha camocha." So how does that work with disliking a born Jew as a community leader?
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r_ch




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 7:40 am
grace413 wrote:
There is also a mitzvah of "ve'ahavta l'rayecha camocha." So how does that work with disliking a born Jew as a community leader?


This is a personal mitzva for every single Jew, and they work on it inside, as well as they first have negative feelings to work on. Feelings happen to be first.
There's a hagoda in gmora Brochos where even Rabbi Akiva couldn't be chosen the Nossi because his parents were gerim. It's said, because he doesn't have enough zchus avois. Even. Rabbi. Akiva.
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r_ch




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 7:49 am
amother wrote:
It seems like what you're saying is, if he were born Jewish, he could write this with no problem.. but owww.. because the *wrong* parent was Jewish he should be quiet.


I think it was meant that nobody could write it, but we unconciously demand more from a ger. Maybe it's because we (mistakenly) try to quesion his gerus, maybe we rely on his knowlede that he's acquired consiously "in his right mind" and not inherited it "automatically".
If it had been easy to love a ger there wouldn't have been a mitzva to do so, IMHO.


Last edited by r_ch on Tue, Nov 25 2014, 8:05 am; edited 1 time in total
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 7:53 am
A ger often knows things a FFB doesn't/fully
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 8:44 am
.....

WHAT???!!!!!


I... that's it.... I give up.
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