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Forum -> Fashion and Beauty -> Sheitels & Tichels
Lets liberate ourselves from grossly expensive shaitels
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Heyaaa




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 6:31 am
Sanguine wrote:

As opposed to OP who wants to be liberated from grossly expensive shaitels. OP, if you want to wear wrapunzel so wear that. Wear what you're comfortable in (you don't need permission). So some people are surprised that I wear a wig. That's the difference of MO/DL people. We don't have to be liberated. I wear what I feel like (within halacha). My dress isn't a statement. I hope my actions are.


This.

I'm not MO nor DL but neither am I chareidi. I wear mitpachot even though I have 2 very nice shaitels because I am most comfortable in them. Most of the women in my neighborhood wear shaitels and about half my friends wear shaitels while the other half wear scarves/hats or their own hair.

If OP or anyone else wants to wear mitpachot, go right ahead. No one will judge you for it if you wear it with confidence.

As an aside, there was a letter writer in this weeks mishpacha who criticized everyone who wore shaitels as untznius and she explained how much holier she is now that she wears mitpachot. Personally, I only wear mitpachot out of the house (although I haven't given away my shaitels just in case) yet, even though I do what she wants me to do, her letter still rubbed me off the wrong way. It came across as very critical and defensive. I understood her to be saying 'I do something because it made me more holy (and therefore you are less holy because you don't) but I can't be confident in my decision until everyone else does what I do'. I feel like since her goal was to get people to stop wearing shaitels, she would have been much more successful if she hasn't tried to bash all shaitel-wearers.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 8:23 am
zaq wrote:
Honey, in elaborate headscarves of pure silk that perfectly match my custom-made gown, I still look ready to wash windows. If I cannot find an acceptable hat to go with my outfit, I will be wearing a wig. Some women have the overall build and facial structure to look like queens with their heads wrapped in old diapers; those of us not so blessed will stick to more flattering alternatives.

Which still doesn't mean spending a year's tuition on a wig. You can get perfectly fine wigs for a lot less.


I look like Rosie the Riveter when I work out.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 10:44 am
I totally see OPs point and to an extend I agree with her.

I suffer from "shaitel envy" in a big way (only slightly sarcastic here). I have been covering my hair for close to 15 years, and it has been a real struggle for me. Not to cover - I have always hated my own hair, so the covering itself was never the issue. Its the price to look as good as everyone else. Yes, for me, keeping up with the Goldbergs has been an internal battle for me for a while. I know its not normal, but I also know I'm not alone. THe sheitel ads before the chaggim especially make me sick. Yeah, I have just struggled to make pesach - it alone costs many hundreds and even a few thousand to make pesach when you have no inlaws or family to join. Now I have to feel bad about myself because I cant buy a new wig like "everyone else"?

When I first got married, skin parts were a new thing - that added around $500 to the cost of a shaitel. I couldn't afford that, so I got one with out. All the new kallahs had the skin part. Then came the multi directional, then everyone I knew had a "David" wig, which at that time was the equivalent to a Shevy. Remember those? I had my out of the box Freeda and that cost $1200 in 2001! That was a lot of money! Anyways, I had always struggled with the fact that in my mind, my wig wasn't as nice/glossy/long/didn't look like a Pantene shampoo commercial wig like everyone else's seemed to. And I never had the money to keep up.

A year ago, I used some of my yerusha to buy a $2000 wig, which I am not thrilled with. I know it isn't a lot for a wig, but for me, its a TON. It was a huge deal for me, and I agonized for months over which wig I would buy. Apparently 2K wont buy the wig of my dreams, but it can get something nice. I made my choice and made a purchase. That was my turning point, to be honest.

I took a real look around. I started looking around when I was on a trip to NYC (Broadway). NO ONES hair looks like these 5K wigs! No women shopping at Neimen Marcus has hair like that. I went into the Rainbow Room just to see what it was like in there (I was a tourist, after all). No one in that fancy shmancy place had hair as nice as a Shevy.
I went to the 5 Towns and Crown Heights. Those women had the most amazing hair I had ever seen. I walked into a sheitel shop on Central Ave (5 towns) and was treated like trash, tried on a kiki and Shevy, my "dream wigs" and realized, the hair is stunning but it LOOKS LIKE A WIG. No one looks like that, unless they are also wearing a wig. Who are we kidding ourselves?

Now, if I somehow won a Shevy in a chinese auction, I would wear it. I bet it would be stunning and I would love the way it looks. There is no denying that.

Having said all of that, one day I decided that its bad for my self esteem to be constantly looking for what I cant afford. I feel like a darn fool for spending 2K on the wig last year! Enter Wrapunzel. Hashem should bless Rivka Malka and Andrea with much hatzlacha. FINALLY after 15 years, I feel amazing in my $12 tichels! I can go have my sheitel washed and set for $35 OR I can buy 3 new tichels!

One more bit, for anyone who is still reading this post - I have step children who visit often. While I don't mind covering my hair, I have kind of resented having to cover it at home during visits. Now, with my beautiful tichel collection, I literally put it on in the morning and keep it on all day, happily. I pass a mirror and smile! I have even found myself keeping my hair covered when I am in the house alone! I think finally my days of keeping up with the Goldbergs are behind me. And its because I liberated myself from wanting a grossly expensive sheitel. [u]
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 11:08 am
That is a very interesting post.

That is what I think too: the idea is to look good, and having hair that is too fabulous isn't the thing. YOU have to look good, it's not the WIG that has to look good.

You say

"the hair is stunning but it LOOKS LIKE A WIG. No one looks like that, "

My synthetics are chosen to not look too perfect, because that's not natural looking. I shake them hard, so they aren't neat and combed.

You make the point that any head covering, no matter what kind, has to fit the person, not be an object of interest in itself, in isolation, on a little stand with a spotlight, behind glass.

There are people who won't wear a synthetic because, examined alone as an object, it isn't as pretty as a human hair wig. But, integrated into the whole person's look, it blends in with her in a natural way, with taste, and is fine.

She has got it done, she looks good and she looks religious and she hasn't broken the family's finances; this is getting it done with deftness and class.

But to each her own. People make their livings out of human hair wigs and I am not about to badmouth anybody's product or business.

Cloth versus wig is another issue entirely; to each her own.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 11:26 am
Heyaaa wrote:
Do you think these look like your washing windows?
http://www.rinatilakel.com/en/......html
http://www.rinatilakel.com/en/......html



That is $41 USA dollars for a tichel. How is that liberating?

Plus there is no way I could show up to work like that. I don't think the long skirts and sleeves set me apart, I look professional. Not shaking hands sticks out the first time. but this would stick out again and again and again and it wouldn't work. It could be it would depend on the envrionemtn. But where I work I am the only frum person and the only openly Jewish person most of my coworkers have ever met. There is enough culture shock already going on.
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 11:27 am
Yes. But that's very different from a thousand dollars and up, up, up.

And those purchases are spread out over time; you are acquiring new money during that time.

And you care for those things yourself, there is no maintenance expense.
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Dawling




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 11:36 am
Although I don't wear wigs, I totally get what OP is saying.
I know some women (not just one) who, unfortunately, go into debt (!) over their wigs, feeling like they have to "keep up with the Cohens". They're not even comfortable wearing it (too hot, itchy, etc.) but they feel oppressed/ peer pressured into it.

Obviously, not everyone who wears a wig feels this way, but maybe OP does and wants to help "liberate" the other victims. Or maybe it's just projection. LOL!

Edit:
Water girl, I'm editing my original post so I can comment on yours. You're a perfect example of what I was referring to in my original post. Secondly, good for you! Your honesty and courage deserve a medal of honor, IMO.


Last edited by Dawling on Mon, Dec 01 2014, 11:45 am; edited 1 time in total
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 11:37 am
I am for frugal snobbism.

Or the snobbism of frugality.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 11:50 am
watergirl wrote:


I took a real look around. I started looking around when I was on a trip to NYC (Broadway). NO ONES hair looks like these 5K wigs! No women shopping at Neimen Marcus has hair like that. I went into the Rainbow Room just to see what it was like in there (I was a tourist, after all). No one in that fancy shmancy place had hair as nice as a Shevy.
I went to the 5 Towns and Crown Heights. Those women had the most amazing hair I had ever seen. I walked into a sheitel shop on Central Ave (5 towns) and was treated like trash, tried on a kiki and Shevy, my "dream wigs" and realized, the hair is stunning but it LOOKS LIKE A WIG. No one looks like that, unless they are also wearing a wig. Who are we kidding ourselves?


I had to smile when reading this.

Recently I was in a amusement park for little children and a frum women was there with the most luxurious, teased, curled long highlighted blondish sheitel that was just magnificent. And it looked like a costume.
No other person in that park looked even remotely like that.
It was comical.

I sometimes compare the women in costco those with the shiny, teased, curled, long luxurious locks. And the other women who are shopping and none of it looks real or possible.

While I'm not ready to get rid of my sheitel I do think there is the possibility of a middle ground. My coworkers do not realize I wear a wig.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 12:05 pm
I often see non Jewish/non frum women with beautiful, lustrous, long and blowdried hair. Its not that unusual. True, most mothers of small kids won't wear their hair like this when shopping or whatever. But some people like to look good no matter when.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 12:14 pm
Dawling wrote:
Although I don't wear wigs, I totally get what OP is saying.
I know some women (not just one) who, unfortunately, go into debt (!) over their wigs, feeling like they have to "keep up with the Cohens". They're not even comfortable wearing it (too hot, itchy, etc.) but they feel oppressed/ peer pressured into it.

Obviously, not everyone who wears a wig feels this way, but maybe OP does and wants to help "liberate" the other victims. Or maybe it's just projection. LOL!

Edit:
Water girl, I'm editing my original post so I can comment on yours. You're a perfect example of what I was referring to in my original post. Secondly, good for you! Your honesty and courage deserve a medal of honor, IMO.


Thanks! I'm hanging on to my wigs still, I dont want to put myself in a corner (yet!).

I respect those who make a choice different from my own. And I also understand that certian jobs require a wig. But for me, wrapunzel is heaven sent.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 7:31 pm
shabbatiscoming wrote:
Im sure I would look wonderful in a long wig. But my hashkafa (and husband too Smile ) isthat I dont cover with a wig. Im not sfardi, we just dont. So sometimes covering in a mitpapchat is about hashkafa as much as how one looks.


A mitpachat is not the only alternative to a sheitel. You could wear a hat.
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frummy613




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 9:38 pm
Wow!
I feel the opposite sentiment to the OP.
I always loved the tichel look. Everywhere I went, comments on my tichels tichels tichels.

Ugh.

Recently, I felt so imprisoned by it. I started to feel "out there." I wanted to be looked at as a normal frum lady, not a tichel lady.
So I recently purchased my first wig! I am SOOO excited. And for under 1000$. Granted I do not know the first thing about wigs, so maybe I bought a piece of junk.
I feel so liberated in my wig....

This is to prove, that to each there own. Every person needs to do what is right for them and stop making blanket statements!


Last edited by frummy613 on Tue, Dec 02 2014, 9:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 9:40 pm
Wait 'til you get into synthetics. You will go wild. "Under a thousand" indeed.
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cookiejar




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 9:43 pm
frummy613 wrote:
Wow!
I feel the opposite sentiment to the OP.
I always loved the tichel look. Hashkafically, it made sense to me, since I grew up sephardic and my family covers in hats. In my community I became the tichel lady, and was featured on the Wrapunzel website/videos. Everywhere I went, comments on my tichels tichels tichels.

Ugh.

Recently, I felt so imprisoned by it. I started to feel "out there." I wanted to be looked at as a normal frum lady, not a tichel lady.
So I recently purchased my first wig! I am SOOO excited. And for under 1000$. Granted I do not know the first thing about wigs, so maybe I bought a piece of junk.
I feel so liberated in my wig....

This is to prove, that to each there own. Every person needs to do what is right for them and stop making blanket statements!


Exactly. Cover how you want, buy what you want, do what you want, and think what you want. And try to stop making decisions that are based on other people!
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 9:55 pm
The original post didn't say nobody should wear a sheitel, just that there ought to be a way to get the look, without so much expense.

Well, there are ways.

Cloth and hats are one way, and synthetics are the closest way.

Nobody would notice if you went from human hair to synthetics, not from more than two feet away, if that. They would say, "oh, new wig?" But they wouldn't say, "oh, you are wearing synthetics now?"
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 10:04 pm
The main difference is that an expensive wig requires the money to be laid out up front, while other options allow for smaller payments spread out over time. The total outlay is really not that different.
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penguin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 10:16 pm
Quote:
The main difference is that an expensive wig requires the money to be laid out up front, while other options allow for smaller payments spread out over time. The total outlay is really not that different


You can go with your basic cotton hat or beret in white, beige, navy and black. That should go with almost anything in summer clothing, for about $25 (25% off on myheadcoverings.com, sales ends tonight!).

Add another $30 or $40 each if you feel the need to buy warmer hats for winter, though I'd be too hot indoors.

So you can easily get by with less than $300 and they last quite well too. And you can accesorize them with a button or brooch or ribbon.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 10:24 pm
penguin wrote:
Quote:
The main difference is that an expensive wig requires the money to be laid out up front, while other options allow for smaller payments spread out over time. The total outlay is really not that different


You can go with your basic cotton hat or beret in white, beige, navy and black. That should go with almost anything in summer clothing, for about $25 (25% off on myheadcoverings.com, sales ends tonight!).

Add another $30 or $40 each if you feel the need to buy warmer hats for winter, though I'd be too hot indoors.

So you can easily get by with less than $300 and they last quite well too. And you can accesorize them with a button or brooch or ribbon.


Yes, but that's not what is being discussed in this thread.
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penguin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 10:27 pm
Quote:
Yes, but that's not what is being discussed in this thread.
Well, but why not? If you want to be liberated from expensive shaitels, complicated and expensive mitpachot are not your only alternative.

Also I think a hat could look more professional in a business setting.
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