My kids complain they are too many hours in school

Scrabble123

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 12:25 pm

groisamomma wrote:

DS has a crazy long day so a few times a week I pick him up early. Kids need a break.

A few times a week? That sounds a little excessive and honestly does not really show a very good message about you being on track with the school and its importance.

My school was 7:45-4:15 with no Hebrew subjects. Then there were spots and other activities afterwards. You should show your kid that you understand how long it is, but explain to him in his language the importance of school, being busy academically, having a schedule, etc. When they understand the importance of something they feel along while doing it, feel connected, and don't feel like it's too much because they understand its importance.

You can give them a day off or pick them up early here and there. Maybe pick him up before the bus if that is an option for you.

debsey

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 12:40 pm

It is a long day. My older boys get on a 7:00 AM bus and don't come home till 5:45. They're not that old (older elementary). They are legitimately exhausted. And then it's supper, homework, "voluntary" learning with their chavrusos, and barely any time to play or read or hang out or chill! Not to mention that's the only time we have to do errands like go to pediatrician or tighten braces!
They can't even go to bed earlier, because they don't get home from maariv till after 9.
I know this isn't PC, but I had to lessen their chore load and protect their play time, which I did not do for their sisters, because they have a shorter school day.
I also do a mental health day every so often, where we take off and have a day with Mommy to go somewhere. Nowhere outrageous, but something nice. (Color Me Mine, Hot Sand, the climbing wall at d!ck's sporting goods, etc) They LIVE for that mental health day.

the world's best mom

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 2:43 pm

I think every Yeshiva needs to have recess time during which the boys have access to a yard or a gym, and they should also offer a choice of extracurricular activities- music, art, carpentry...

I know a 14 year old kid who is learning disabled and is out of the house from 7 am to 7:45 pm. He has his regular school hours, during which he learns nothing much and during which the other boys bully him terribly, and then he also has a tutor to try getting some learning into his head. The tutor keeps yelling at him, What's wrong with you? Why can't you sit still so you can learn already? They go play outside somewhere once a week. I think this is a recipe for raising an at risk teen, but nobody is asking my opinion on the matter. Sad.

debsey

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 2:58 pm

amother wrote:

thanks debsey

As a mother of boys I totally relate

will try to implement that idea

my kid is out exact same timing 7:00 - 5:45.

please excuse the fast posting during work.....

To add to all of this, at least for me, is that they eat breakfast and lunch in school, and thanks to our lovely FLOTUS, the food is really not that appetizing. One of my kids is a picky eater, and he basically starves. I send snacks but it's not enough and they're not supposed to bring breakfast from home. It's a recipe for disaster. They come home soooooo tired and starving.

saw50st8

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 3:07 pm

debsey wrote:

Why can't he eat before leaving to school?

debsey

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 3:31 pm

saw50st8 wrote:

Why can't he eat before leaving to school?

He needs SLEEP! He goes to bed at 10, after Ma'ariv.

He wakes up 6:45 to get on a 7AM bus. That's really not enough sleep, but he can't wake up any earlier, because then he'd really be getting too little sleep.

He doesn't have time to eat, and they DO feed them. It's just the food isn't very edible. Even his brother, who eats pretty much everything, doesn't like it. He eats more of it than his brother, but not as much as he would if the food was GOOD.

Scrabble123

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 4:30 pm

debsey wrote:

You can daven maariv way earlier than 10:00 now.
Would you eat on the bus? You can send along a Greek Yogurt, applesauce, or a sandwich.
Eating is just as if not more important than sleep.

debsey

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 4:35 pm

Scrabble123 wrote:

You can daven maariv way earlier than 10:00 now.
Would you eat on the bus? You can send along a Greek Yogurt, applesauce, or a sandwich.
Eating is just as if not more important than sleep.

Only if there's a MINYAN near you earlier than 10! Our shul davens a bit after 9. He has a chavrusah in shul right before maariv, davens maariv, shmoozes with a friend for a minute or two, gets home, and is in bed by 10. The shul is in my development, so he doesn't have far to walk.
The chavrusah is technically "voluntary" but there's a whole school contest about it that makes it pretty much mandatory.
The bus doesn't allow eating. I used to send toast until the driver banned it. He won't eat Greek yogurt or applesauce or a sandwich! I WISH! Sometimes, I send microwave popcorn in a thermal lunchbox so it stays hot - that's the only way he'll eat it. I used to send his favorite type of cereal in a box so he could have it every day and then the school said a new health dept. thing bans that, so we can't do that. We can't win!

Scrabble123

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 5:06 pm

debsey wrote:

The health dept. dictates what snacks you are allowed to send your children? Wow I did not know that!

debsey

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 6:50 pm

Scrabble123 wrote:

The health dept. dictates what snacks you are allowed to send your children? Wow I did not know that!

Not snack. Specifically we can't send a box of breakfast cereal into the school, to stay in the school's pantry, so that every day he could eat it. I remember we used to do this in camp - we'd bring a box of Honey Nut Cheerios or whatever, give it into the kitchen, and then our waitress would bring it if we asked for it. So much yummier than the Kemach cornflakes or whatever else camp was serving.
So for a while, we were doing that. I sent him his favorite cereal, he went to a shelf in the kitchen, took it, and used their milk for a bowl of cereal and milk. Then the school said we're not allowed to do that. I have NO idea why!
We just came up with a new compromise. A whole wheat bagel with NO spread. (He doesn't like spreads). If it's a particular bagel from a particular store, he says he will eat it. We'll see. I'm buying some and I'll freeze them. Hopefully, that will be our solution.

debsey

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 1:25 pm

I figured I'd post this, since maybe others are having the same issue with the early bus, unappealing breakfast in yeshiva situation:
I sat down with my son and I told him - you can't go a whole day without eating. I get that it's too hard to wake up any earlier than 6:45, and I know that you can't eat before shacharis, but we need to have a plan for you to eat SOMETHING for breakfast and lunch.
We went to Target, and found the following:
Frozen bagels (that are mostly whole wheat, but look white) that have an OU.
A whole bunch of really delicious Archer Farm hot cocoa mixes that are OU Pareve (they have flavors like pumpkin spice, malted milk ball, dark chocolate, and peppermint)
and these fruit/veggie bars that taste really good and are supposedly one serving of fruit each with no added sugar!
We also found simply balanced brand freeze dried edammame, corn, etc.

So here's our plan: I wake him up 6:40 (instead of 6:45). I run down and make the hot cocoa in a disposable mug. (I heat up milk to dissolve the cocoa powder, so it has some nutritional value) According to our LOR, you are allowed to drink a hot drink before shacharis, for purposes of waking up your brain.
I toast the bagel and put it in TUPPERWARE (when you put it in a plastic bag, supposedly, according to my VERY PICKY and sensory son, it absorbs a plastic bag taste.)
He gets dressed, sips the hot cocoa as he walks to the bus.
I spoke to the cook, who agrees with me that the "whole wheat" bread the school serves at breakfast is really bad (it's like the whole wheat version of wonderbread, with no crust) he says there will be a spread on the table every day - butter or cream cheese etc. (My son only eats spreads that he spreads himself because he doesn't like how a thick layer of anything tastes). So my son can make himself a sandwich.
He put the Simply Balanced stuff in his locker, so if there's a day where there wasn't a spread, or he can't tolerate the lunch they serve, he has some options of what to eat. Freeze dried edamame and a fruit bar isn't my idea of a lunch, but it's better than no food at all.

My son is SO MUCH happier! I still wish the school day was shorter, though..........

groisamomma

Fri, Dec 12 2014, 12:23 am

Scrabble123 wrote:

Thank you for the ideas. DS is all of 10 years old and is up and dressed by 6:45 am ready for minyan. If you've ever read the relevant posts on this board, you would know that English in chassidishe chadorim is a waste of time and an exercise in bad middos. Since he is a year younger than his peers but several grades ahead of them in secular subjects (we homeschool for LAL and Math), staying in school those extra hours is a waste of his time--time that is well spent reading, running errands with me, or simply playing at home.

For what it's worth, we never ever pick him up before English. He stays in cheder for English twice a week when he has what the cheder calls Masmidim--an extra learning seder on top of English, so ds doesn't get home until about seven at night. That means he is out of the house from 7 am to 7 pm. The kid is 10 years old, he needs a break!!!!