How do I not end up yelling at them?

amother

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 7:39 pm

I HATE bedtime. My kids are 2,4 and 6.
It all starts out well, but then they start talking, which escalates to playing an dthen getting wild.
Im at the end of my rope after a long day. I tell them to stop talking. I tell them to gte back into bed. Once. Twice. Three times. Then I yell. It works for aout 5 mins until it all starts again.
I sit in their room with them but I doesnt seem to help.
Sometimes putting on a cd keeps them quiet but often not.

I need some discipline techniques or basic parenting techniques. My children are I think normal average children. The fault is clearly with me.

Any tidbits that work for you would really be appreciated.

987gold

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 8:05 pm

Firstly, not every night is perfect by me. Not everything works. My three year old gave me a really hard time tonight. My husband helped me out. He kept coming out of bed. I read him a book first. Then he went back to bed. Then he needed the bathroom.

I find what works is read a book, try and spend quality time with each kid. Stall bed times. They can all hear the same book. Then send everyone out of room and whoever is more tired and needs to go to bed first, 2 or 4 year old. Talk to them one on one about a song morah sang, about their day, sing with them shema. Give a few min til child falls asleep. Maybe 2 year old doesn't need a game. Maybe just one on one shema and hamalach time with mommy. kisses.

If you read a short book or story 6 year old chooses and then is told to go to bed, or speak to child about day, they feel like they got attention and loved. offer drinks before bed. bathroom reminder.

It gets harder as they get older. My almost 8 year old doesn't want to go to bed......some times I want peace and quiet and he should stop annoying me already. It's not easy.

Hatzlacha

mummiedearest

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 9:17 pm

when my kids are preschoolers, I do the whole bedtime routine with them and then climb into bed with them to cuddle for a couple of minutes. I find this calms them down. if they come out of bed, I put them back in. lather, rinse, repeat. you may end up spending 45 minutes replacing kids in beds one night, but they will learn. just be mentally prepared for it, keep calm, continue placing them in their beds with a "good night!" keep the light off for this, it's bedtime.

that being said, I do allow my big kids to get up to go to the bathroom or get a drink, but not if it's obvious they are taking advantage.

and yeah, sometimes I just yell. but that doesn't really get them to sleep.

amother

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 9:49 pm

Thanks so much for replying.

Im really at my wits end. I do like your idea of reading a book. And to give them extra attention.

But:

Im afraid that getting into a converstaion with them at bed time about school etc will just wind them up instead of winding them down.

How would staggering the bedtimes work. Wouldnt the other kids come in and disturb? I live in a small apartment. Also the kids could take a while to fall asleep so the last child would end up going to bed quite late? no?

I really appreciate all support and ideas.

AhuvasIma

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 11:13 pm

The way it works by us is we do the whole bedtime routine and then I say good night, hugs, kisses and leave the room. My girls (2 and 4) will talk in their room until they fall asleep. The only rule I have is no leaving the room. So as soon as I say good night, that's it for me for the night. You can start bedtime earlier so they have their talking time. once they learn that they're going to sleep when they decide to stop talking, it loses its excitement and on tired days they go to sleep right away and on other days it takes a bit longer. Also they know they have to resolve any fights on their own. Good luck!

Shopmiami49

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 12:23 am

Stagger bedtimes. I used to have the same problem. then I figured out which kids worked best together and started bedtime shifts. In the beginning, the others used to come in and disturb, but eventually they learned that it's a big no-no to come in during someone else's time.

For all practical purposes, I usually start with the youngest who is in a crib (as long as he/she also falls asleep first).