Explaining testing for ASD to 7 year old

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Sun, Dec 07 2014, 8:20 am

I have some concerns that my 7 year old daughter may fall on the autism spectrum, and I'm starting the process of evaluation.

She is cognitively bright, but has some social and sensory quirks that I feel should be investigated.

Any suggestions on how I can explain the evaluation process to my daughter? She already has low self esteem, and I may well be off base with my concerns. How can I be honest with my explanation of what the testing is for without damaging her self esteem further?

PAMOM

Sun, Dec 07 2014, 8:29 am

Cool work with an expert who will tell me if I'm doing the best job helping you that a mother can do?

imasinger

Sun, Dec 07 2014, 8:37 am

When I took my 7 year old DD for testing, I told her that this was a process to help us learn more about her, and how to help school and home be more fun and comfortable for her.

There is a wonderful book called "asperkids" that may be worth your while if she is diagnosed.

amother

Sun, Dec 07 2014, 8:41 am

Dr. Tzipora Koslowitz, in Lakewood, says to say
You're going to meet a lady (man) who figures out how kids learn and why they do the things they do. She's going to do mazes and puzzles and some school-type stuff to help us figure out how you think and what you're really good at.......

If your daughter IS on the spectrum, Dr. Koslowitz's Targeted Parenting class is awesome! Completely changed my parenting of my DS.

amother

Sun, Dec 07 2014, 10:24 am

I'm the original poster. I like both of the previous responses. But how do I answer why she is being taken for this evaluation but we didn't do the same for her older (by a year) or younger siblings? How can she not interpret that as meaning there is something "wrong" with her?

Iymnok

Sun, Dec 07 2014, 10:34 am

Are you announcing to the whole family that she is going for testing?
How does she know they didn't?
Does she see that she is having a harder time in school and on the playground than her peers?
If something is not going smoothly we check out why.
Does she think there's a stigma attached?

amother

Sun, Dec 07 2014, 10:42 am

amother wrote:

Dr. K would say - what stigma? We're trying to figure out the user's manual for your brain. How is that a BAD thing? It helps us know you better, so we know we're parenting you right! I think YOU are feeling that there is some stigma attached, and your attitude will communicate itself to your child. There is no stigma in being evaluated. Once you decide that, your DD will follow suit.
Hug

seeker

Sun, Dec 07 2014, 12:07 pm

amother wrote:

Having been a fairly bright 7-year-old once myself, I'd have been pretty spooked at the idea of someone trying to figure out how I think and why I do things, possibly enough to sabotage the test. Just saying.

I prefer the suggestion that this will help the adults make home and school more fun/comfortable.

imasinger

Sun, Dec 07 2014, 3:22 pm

"Why didn't you take Sister for this test?"

"We just found the doctor who does it, and think this would be great for YOU."

I think she'll be flattered, not suspicious.

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