18 month old pulling out his hair

amother

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 8:07 pm

HELP!

For the last 5-6 months my almost 18 month old likes to soothe himself by pulling out a couple of strands of hair and sucking on them with his thumb in his mouth.
His ped told us that it's a normal sensory soothing habit and that he'll grow out of it, but it's getting worse and he's developing bald patches!!

I've tried to take the hair out of his mouth but he goes hysterical!!! And he can't fall asleep or soothe himself in any way without it. I've also tried giving him a paci instead but he won't take it.

Any suggestions?? He doesn't have much hair to begin with.

imasinger

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 10:00 pm

I had this issue with my DS when he was little. We did two things.

First, after discussion and decision (our rav supported) that his health took precedence over minhag, we cut his hair.

Then, we provided a variety of substitutes with fuzz -- blankets with fringes, a stuffed ittle lion with a mane, fuzzy slippers, etc. These went in his crib, and without any fuss to speak of, he substituted the hair he pulled from the stuffed lion.

Of course, then, it took us years to break the fuzz habit, but you can't have everything (and he has other issues).

amother

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 10:02 pm

OP here -thanks amother above. I've already come across that article as well as some others. Unfortunately, I can't find any treatment approaches for his age, as most articles discuss using CBT as the most effective treatment approach.

I just wish I knew how to help him stop...from google searches and blogs, the only two solutions I've come across are: 1) shaving his head so that by the time the hair grows back in, he'll be over the habit. At this point, I feel like that's an extreme step to take.
2) Put excema scratch-preventing gloves on him. If I realized when the issue started 5/6 months ago that it would become such a bad habit then I would have done this then. But at 18 months, to do this to an active toddler would prevent him from being able to play properly, to soothe with his thumb, which he needs, and just make him downright miserable. Especially as most parenting blogs say that their kids needed the gloves for 6 weeks to kick the habit.

I'd rather find a more gentler solution to get rid of the hair pulling.

Sigh...it's such a tough age...old enough to have an understanding of what's going on and being able to assert what he wants, yet too young to really understand any sort of reasoning.

amother

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 10:07 pm

Thanks Imasinger. There isn't enough hair to cut. We tried stuffed animals but that wouldn't cut it (no pun intended). The only other things he goes for is hair. Eg one of my daughter's cheap dolls has long hair. And honestly, I have no idea what that "hair" is made of, so I'd much rather his own hair goes into his mouth than whatever that long thick synthetic thing is. The other hair he likes, of course, is my shaitel.

Dolly Welsh

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 10:26 pm

18 months is getting to be a bigger kid; it's getting to be toddler time, not baby. I do not like the idea of him ingesting hair, no matter what kind it is.

I am thinking of Imasinger's kid, where it "took years to break the fuzz habit".

I am usually very indulgent with babies; laugh at schedules, and give pacifyers, hold them a lot, and all.

But here I would shave his head smooth like an egg, and let him cry. CIO. After he has everything else he needs.

Believe me, he will sleep when he's tired, and after a few days of loud unhappiness, or less, life will go on. I don't like the idea of a "fuzz habit".

He is still young enough to figure out other ways of calming himself, if he has tools, such as soft music or a white noise machine, or whatever comforts go with his age.

But he is also old enough to work with the problem. He isn't a teeny baby who either gets what he needs or goes without.

Just my humble opinion. I could be wrong. But the whole thing makes me uneasy. It's too weird. Needing your blanky is more usual. That was in a nationally syndicated cartoon. And he's ingesting something. It just bothers me. But I am no expert.

amother

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 10:55 pm

OP here

Dolly Welsh, I agree with you about not liking him ingesting anything. BUT I'm a big believer in learning to self-soothe, rather than use white noise or soft music. Ideally, I want his thumb sucking to be enough of a soother, but he HAS to have that hair too. It's not just a matter of pulling it out to sleep, but in any situation when he's upset, doesn't get his way etc. The vaseline idea sounds interesting, but knowing him, he'll just do it anyway and be ok with the vaseline...

And amother, other than that he's a very happy (but obstinate) kid. Very smiley, loves to cuddle. As for speech, he has about 9 or 10 words as well as 6 or 7 animal noises. Why do you ask?

Dolly Welsh

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 11:06 pm

In time, he will self-soothe by turning on the music or the white noise machine, if he feels like it. It doesn't have to be using part of his body. I think it might ultimately be better, if it eventually is NOT part of his body.

Learning to self-soothe is also learning to think things out. Not just run to a physical sensation.

You can't let him train YOU. He has taught YOU to self-soothe (or get some peace and quiet, anyway) by allowing him to eat his own hair.

He will just eat the Vaseline, and it isn't made to be eaten.

I think it's kinder to shave his head. While giving him the usual stuff kids like, rattles, blankets.

He seems to be saying his thumb isn't the right texture; he needs it more high-fiber. Maybe give him chewy foods that feel high-fiber.

As a male, he may need more rough handling, higher-fiber handling, than you, as a gentle and affectionate female, are dishing out, quite enough. Have his father throw him around and up, and play airplane, and all the stuff. A boy sometimes loves, adores, to be hung by his ankles down his father's back, which his head dangling around his father's waist. Screaming with delight.

The mother usually leaves the room.

Hugs and good luck.

If you need earplugs, use them. The drugstore sells them.

amother

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 11:24 pm

amother wrote:

Oh amother I'd love to speak to you about this! Not that I have any solutions but I have the same exact situation now!! My toddler is 18 months old as well and has been pulling out his hair since he was about 3 months old. I've spoken to the pediatrician about it but he just dismissed my concern. The issue has become so bad that my son has no hair left on his head!!!! I've contacted the trich. org too but they said they can't treat such young children. I've tried to break his habit so many times and in different ways but he still uses his hair pulling to fall asleep and calm himself.

amother

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 11:38 pm

amother wrote:

OP here -amother above, what have you tried so far? Maybe something that didn't work for you might still work for me?

At this point I've only tried taking the hair away or using my hand to hold his (in a loving way) when I see that he's reaching for his head.

Previous amother.

So I tried holding his hand, putting his hair in a tight pony/ bun, putting gloves on his hands, occupying his hands with other comforting items, I tried pulling his hair just like he does except that I didn't actually pull it out. None of these helped. He got frustrated and refused to go to sleep until he had full control over his head.
He has a few baby hairs that are finally growing back but he just keeps on pulling at those tiny hairs too. I feel so regretful that I haven't tried earlier to take more serious measures about this. He now has a bald head and looks c"v unhealthy.

amother

Sun, Dec 14 2014, 11:54 pm

my sister used to do this as a toddler. she had a decent amount of hair and it got to the point that she had large bald spots on both sides of her head (literally half her hair on one side of her head was gone). (she played with my mothers hair as a young infant when falling asleep and it escalated over time...)

my parents tried EVERYTHING.

what my parents ended up doing was shaving her head so there was NOTHING for her to pull. they did it at the beginning of the winter when she was 18 mo and so she only really went outside with a hat on. at first when it grew back it was way to short to pull. so there was a few months of nothing to pull. (I think they also kept it short for a few more months- not bald but short) they gave her other thing to use for soothing meanwhile. after that she would pull a hair or two sometimes, but nothing like that and now shes a 13 yo with plenty of hair which she does not play with.

amother

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 8:56 am

amother wrote:

OP
-amother above, what comforting items did you try? Also, how consistently did you try each of these solutions? I was thinking of trying mittens and/or a hat, although I'm not sure how I would keep it on his head. Lol...maybe use a pretied mitpachat?

Previous amother here.

I tried a hat as well. I actually tried a few different hats. Loose fitting hats, snug fitting hats, pull one, hats that need tying.....I've tried all different types. He reacted either in frustration until I removed the hat, or by digging his hands underneath the hat so that he can reach his hair.

amother

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 12:22 pm

OP
-DH suggested that I try to find a toddler sized swim cap so he won't be able to take it off. Very Happy

I'm not going to work on hair pulling at night quite yet. I'm really hoping that if we work on it during the daytime and get rid of the habit during the day then the nights will become easier too.

I'm curious to hear what comforting items you put in his hands. I want to try something like that.

I REALLY REALLY don't want to shave the hair, especially as it doesn't sound like a guaranteed solution, even though that's what most people seem to suggest.

amother

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 12:31 pm

amother wrote:

OP
-DH suggested that I try to find a toddler sized swim cap so he won't be able to take it off. Very Happy

Previous amother here.
I tried giving him dolls with hair, different fuzzy blankets, stuffed animals, a wig, and some other small things that would mock hair. None of these worked.
I'm trying to get rid of daytime pulling first. At night the pulling is worse but much harder to break since he's semi asleep....

amother

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 4:54 pm

Previous amother here.
So I've been to the pediatrician today and I basically made it clear to the pediatrician that I'm not leaving from there unless they find a solution to this crazy issue. (BH its only this and nothing worse!)

The only thing he suggested other than the things that I tried is that I should purchase a "my little pony" since that comes with long hair that's similar to human hair. He suggested I should concentrate to redirect my ds hand to the pony every time he tries to pull his hair.