Preschool teacher suggested a therapist

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

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amother

Tue, Dec 16 2014, 5:42 pm

My first born is the first one in preschool so this is all new to me. He's 3.5 years old. Anyway, I asked the teacher if my boy plays and talks to the kids and if he talks to the teachers as well. She said that he "tries" but most of the time he's quiet and the other kids around him are more sociable. She also said he needs a little more physical strength because she noticed he doesn't jump or run around like the other kids. Well, I know I'm a parent and a parent usually defends one's child, but I was surprised that she mentioned a therapist. He's only 3.5 and I think kids develop later on. My son does jump and run a lot in the house with his little brother. It's his first year away from me during the day (I'm a stay at home mom so he was with me till age 3) and he's bilingual. So should I listen to this one teacher and look for a therapist or should I wait and see how he develops later on?

amother

Tue, Dec 16 2014, 6:15 pm

Where do you live? If you live in NY then I would get him evaluated by the DOE. Once the child is 4.5 the evaluation process becomes much more complicated. I wouldn't wait it get him evaluated, I have a 5.5 year old getting speech. I decided to wait until he was four to evaluate him and boy do I regret it now.

MaBelleVie

Tue, Dec 16 2014, 6:29 pm

If she's a very experienced teacher I would take her recommendation seriously.

seeker

Tue, Dec 16 2014, 6:38 pm

I wouldn't waste too much worry on it emotionally, but it wouldn't hurt to get an evaluation just in case. As amother above said if you are in NY (and I suspect other US states are similar) this is the best age to do it in case there is an issue; too close to school age and the preschool people won't want to start and the school age people are generally harder to deal with.

joystock

Tue, Dec 16 2014, 6:38 pm

I am a preschool teacher with many years experience and I would highly recommend that you take him for a BOE evaluation. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain...Hatzlacha

octopus

Tue, Dec 16 2014, 8:09 pm

another person chiming in to just do the DOE evaluation. it is not uncommon to suggest therapies for this age. most likely if there is no "real" delay, he will age-out by the time he turns five.

momesq

Tue, Dec 16 2014, 8:33 pm

YES! I wish I listened to my DS's teacher in preschool when she suggested therapy since he wasn't holding a scissor straight and cutting correctly. I laughed her off. Fast forward 15 years and I'm now private paying an Ot For all these sensory things that I thought were just quirks. If the DOE will pay and they think she needs services go for it!

amother

Tue, Dec 16 2014, 9:34 pm

OP here

Wow! I had no idea people actually take their kids for evaluations from such an early age!

I don't think he has any learning delays (wasn't told anything about this from the teachers). He's just quiet and not as "loud" as the other kids or as social. But I don't see it as a huge problem because some people have quiet personalities and I was like this as well as a kid. I had no learning disabilities and I did great at school, I was just quiet...so why do I have to take him to a therapist?
I don't mind taking him for an evaluation, but I just see it a bit too extreme at such an early age just because he's "quiet". If I do decide for this evaluation, what's the process? who am I supposed to contact? and yes..I live in NY.

seeker

Tue, Dec 16 2014, 11:04 pm

The evaluation is to help figure out whether he is "just quiet" or if there is something else holding him back from social interaction. Both are possible. Similarly, to determine if his physical development is normal for his age.

If the teacher feels that his "quietness" and lack of activity are impeding his participation in school (yes, preschool!) or likely to impact h is performance in the future, then it pays to get checked out.

However, if he's really doing fine and just a little shy, they wouldn't approve anything anyway and you may as well wait and see.

Basically, if the teacher is concerned, it's a good idea to check it out. You say he's your first so you don't know exactly what's expected at this age, and he also doesn't have older sibs to show him the ropes of how to interact with other kids. So take the cues from what's going on in school.

amother

Tue, Dec 16 2014, 11:55 pm

Therapy can start as early as 18 months. Get an evaluation. It can't hurt.

MaBelleVie

Wed, Dec 17 2014, 7:24 am

amother wrote:

Therapy can start as early as 18 months. Get an evaluation. It can't hurt.

Therapy starts for some babies at birth Smile

amother

Wed, Dec 17 2014, 7:55 am

OP here

Ok, so since many of you are saying I should get an evaluation, how do I start? how do I request an evaluation in NYC? I'm all new to this.

working hard

Wed, Dec 17 2014, 11:13 am

My doctor sent me for an evaluation at 3 months. We began therapy about 3 weeks later!. EI is full of kids who get therapy from very young ages.

seeker

Wed, Dec 17 2014, 8:05 pm

OP is already in CPSE age, not EI. OP, ask the teacher to write a letter to the CPSE detailing what her concerns are and how they impact the child's progress and participation in school. While she's working on that, contact one of your local preschool agencies - you can ask the teacher if she recommends a particular one, often the preschool teachers know who's good because they have had other students getting therapy through various ones. If not, you can really just go with any - I don't know what's local to you but they do tend to advertise in local publications.

Ruchel

Thu, Dec 18 2014, 7:53 am

18 months? shock

My cleaning lady is trying to get someone to assess her 3 yr old for speech, they say it's early. Ok, different planet...

As for teacher, I think she was out of line if she doesn't know home more than that.

Quote:

My son does jump and run a lot in the house with his little brother. It's his first year away from me during the day (I'm a stay at home mom so he was with me till age 3) and he's bilingual.

Did you tell her so?
My son walked and talked late, no one IRL commented really but online there were American (sorry) friends trying to worry me. I ended up going to ped who said he's actually more on the advanced side as a whole. (...).

Over time now a few of his morot at first told me he doesn't speak (to them) and plays alone. I told them "not at home".
Well, they later heard him speak to other kids or he warmed up to them and now "he speaks constantly", "he makes full sentences", "now he participates, when he wants". Yup, told ya! My husband was the same until first grade or so when he "boomed" and became kah head of class Smile

If YOU feel reassured, see someone.

MaBelleVie

Thu, Dec 18 2014, 8:50 am

This is not the case for op, but if you know the child has a diagnosis that causes delays, why would you wait to start therapy? I certainly hope that in France people have heard the old news that intervening at a younger age is more effective than waiting until someone is older.

amother

Thu, Dec 18 2014, 11:24 am

OP here.

Well, I asked the teacher for more details. I wanted to know if he follows her instructions or activities. She said he does follow everything and he does the work fine. She tries to put him in groups but when the kids play not in groups, she said the usually he just goes and plays by himself. So she said it wouldn't hurt to look into a therapist. But my son is fine in the house. My sister-in-law doesn't think he needs a therapist because he jumps, runs and plays with her like any other kid. I think he's just and a quiet and shy personality, so what's wrong with that? I also used to be like this as a kid. I'll try to have him go to summer classes/camp during the summer so he'll be more social with kids. But this is his first year at a gan after staying at home with me. He also speaks/understands three languages. English is still a little bit new to him since he doesn't speak it as much so maybe that could be another reason.

Scrabble123

Thu, Dec 18 2014, 11:32 am

Ruchel wrote:

18 months? shock

Quote:

My son does jump and run a lot in the house with his little brother. It's his first year away from me during the day (I'm a stay at home mom so he was with me till age 3) and he's bilingual.

If YOU feel reassured, see someone.

First of all, speech is pretty controversial. For example, my brother (we are not from NY) had a NY accent as a child, and my mother kept trying to do speech therapy for him. She wanted to pay out of pocket of course, but all of the therapists advised her that she should not even think of starting until age 5. The day he turned 5 (literally, that day), he had his first session and within a month was speaking without the NY accent. Again, every child is different.

I have a friend whose child definitely needs therapy. He doesn't talk to anyone. Not in school. Not really at home. She feels he is just shy. At a certain point parents need to recognize the different between shy and a problem that needs some help. You do not have to run with your child to a therapist, but to be aware and work with the school is important. It's important for your child (the school will be more receptive to a child with parents who are receptive to their comments) and that way you can recognize if your child does need intervention, and it's important for you as a parent to feel that you are on top of your child's progress and doing what you can. You can monitor the situation, and if something feels off or does not improve, seek out a therapist. It's probably a natural shock to hear a teacher say, "your child needs an evaluation," but is definitely something that while you mustn't take immediate action, does require your monitoring of the situation.

21young

Thu, Dec 18 2014, 11:44 am

I am the last one to run for therapy, but it's just an evaluation! Why wouldn't you do it? If the evaluators think he's fine then wonderful, you can rest assured. If they recommend therapy, then you can discuss where he's really up to. No need to be concerned about a simple evaluation.

amother

Thu, Dec 18 2014, 11:48 am

OP, it sounds like an evaluation would be a good idea. If it's nothing, then no further action is needed, and if it's something, you can start dealing with it. I also thought my kid was "just a little shy", but it turned out to be masking some more significant issues. Parents know their kids best, but sometimes, especially where the issues are mild and not as obvious as with children with severe delays, it is very easy for parents to miss because it's easy to chalk it up to personality. If an experienced teacher is noticing something, I would not pooh-pooh it. Also, when it comes to intervention, earlier is better. 3.5 is already late. With my child, where we were also inclined to wait and see, started therapy at 2.5, and I feel guilty because we waited six months from when his teacher first mentioned a concern. Also, Ruchel, your post is a little disingenuous; it is well-known that the French professionals are woefully outdated with regard to autism and other neurological disorders: http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17583123 and I wouldn't trust anything coming from France on developmental issues. Yes, America (NY in particular) tends to be a little trigger-happy with the therapies, but they do a MUCH better job at catching things early which leads to much better outcomes.

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