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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah
Am I the only one not giving my kids a present tonight?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:43 pm
I bought handballs on ebay.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/12-SKY.....90777

With tax it was $21 so only cost me $1.75 per ball. Not bad.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:47 pm
I'm basically broke, so no presents.
I used my last few dollars buying the Menorah essentials.

I would like to give them something, but I make it all about Chanukah and not presents. For the big kids, I told them that I just can't afford it this year.

My kids get almost nothing from grandparents/relatives. If they get $10, then it's great, even the 20 year old...
I try to give teachers and Rebbeim something and there's nothing left in the pot.

I love chanukah and work very hard to keep it upbeat and exciting for the kids.
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Love all Jews




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 12:17 am
I give them money instead. That is what my parents did.
On a side note: I usually buy something small for their birthday each year, and this year I didn't due to a tighter budget. I was actually pleasantly surprised at how well they accepted it.
I think you have the right attitude!

By the way, I am new here, but I have not introduced myself yet.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 12:44 am
I got my kids presents but am planning on giving it in middle of chanuka, maybe during vacation.
Tonight I took out a box of chanuka toys, coloring books, assorted dreidels and tops.... that we accumulated over the years and I put away from year to year. They were very excited with that.

We don't do birthday presents though. So basicly my kids get gifts twice a year, chanuka and afikomen.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 12:51 am
Nope. Never even crossed my mind. Didnt grow up with getting or giving gifts. I never understand why chanukah is the chag that people give gifts. If we dont usually give gifts for each chag, then why chanukah?
I know the answer, but I dont like it.
We were always given chanukah gelt, chocolate and real, from my grandparents. That was it.
My daughter asked me last night to by her a sufganiya. That kind of "present" I will gladly buy her. But that is it.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 12:59 am
My parenst (who are visiting) are very into giving Hanukkah presents. I don't want the chidren to associate Hanukkah with PRESENTS! PRESENTS! PRESENTS!

They think I'm nuts/a terrible mother/depriving my kids of fun.
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 1:22 am
When I was growing up the rabbi of our community railed against giving Channukah presents, saying it was an imitation of X-mas. So I grew up w/o Channukah presents though from what my friends reported my parents might have been the only ones in the community to actually heed what he said Sad .
We give our kids gelt (and chocolate gelt, which they are still almost as happy to receive!).
When they were little though we used to give them something small each night: one night draydels, one night fancy sufagniyot, one night a new book about Channukah which we would read together, one night chocolate gelt, one night real gelt, one night a small tchotchke for each of them,etc.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 1:39 am
I grew up with presents each night. Grandparents, other relatives etc. plus socks and other essentials. It was the time we got these things. We could have gotten them any other time but it was saved for then. Made me appreciate it more I guess. Not just "here's new XYZ, knew yours had holes" but here's a wrapped gift.
But I don't want the level of materialism of 8 days of real gifts. Too young to know but we do get them stuff as needed...
Grandparents think I am crazy about this. I guess small stuff is different than those families who give pricey toys each night. I just don't feel that they will appreciate it when bombarded with stuff. Plus the whole Channukah isn't about gifts/materialism idea.
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Laughing Bag!




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 1:48 am
We didn't give presents today and don't either give every day of Chanukah. Dh loves spoiling the kids with gifts when he can but we choose to leave it for special occasions. Chanukah is one of them. We don't necessarily give individual presents unless its some small chatchka.
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 1:58 am
I wonder why do you care what other peolle do? You don't give - good for you, other people do. So what if kids compare? They will always compare what others have and they don't. If it's your choice and you stand by it, then learn to deal with your kids' complaints! If you are so proud to be unmaterialistic and your kids sulk all hanukkah long because they got no gifts, then maybe you should reconsider your chinuch methods.
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Jewish Mother2




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 2:28 am
I think it's all about tradition and what tradition you want for your family - nothing to do with anyone else. When we were growing up we got a present each night, but it wasn't necessarily from the same person each night - they were just handed out on different nights.

My sister and I both took that tradition to the next level when we got married and had kids and give our kids presents every night but that always includes things that they need - be it new hairbands, socks, underwear or whatever. There's usually one present that's more meaningful.

Friday night is always one of these boxes filled with candies that is made for Chanukah - my kids are all grown up and still look forward to this tradition.

Now I don't give to my married child but I've bought some bigger items for my grandchild which we need for them coming over (high chair, travel cot).

My next child is getting married soon and I'm buying little things for their new home/married life - kitchen gadgets, that kind of thing - really cheap and inexpensive but at the same time things I know they'll use.

You do whatever is right for you and your family.
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black sheep




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 2:46 am
I don't do chanukah presents. what on earth does chanukah have to do with presents? this is not a jewish tradition, and it is the opposite message of chanukah.

it makes me so sad that so many jews think of shopping and gifts when they think of chanukah.

and it makes me upset that so many people, adults and children, expect chanukah gifts.

we do gifts. birthday gifts, accomplishment gifts (like graduation etc,) random no reason gifts... but we like to celebrate chanukah for what it is, not as an imitation of x-mas.

I know that's a bit harsh. I am feeling really saddened by the secularizing of chanukah tonight.
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 2:58 am
No presents at our house tonight. But we did play dreidel by modified rules - I think it's called "speed dreidel" and it was loads of fun. Much more entertaining than the normal rules.

We play lots of family board games, and especially so during Hanukkah, so I usually get us a new game and bring it out during Hanukkah.

My mother and MIL often give the kids clothes during Hanukkah - so that's the most gifty thing we do around here.
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Barbara




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 5:49 am
So let's see if I get this straight.

At Chanukkah, we all need to reach deep into our purses to give cold, hard cash to Rebbes -- to our children's teachers, whom we are already paying through our tuition dollars -- because, well THAT is part of what Chanukah is all about!

But the second we buy our daughters new dolls, much more meaningful to them than cash, we are destroying the meaning of the holiday and barely worthy of being called Jews.

Got it.

We grew up getting a small present every night, and usually one larger one. We continued that tradition when DS was little. Now he prefers one substantial gift. You don't like it? Don't give to your kids. But that doesn't make you a better Jew.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 6:02 am
Um, I never said not giving presents makes one "a better Jew." I just don't worry about commercializing holidays in that way.

FWIW, I don't give $ to rebbes either. (Actually, I find that practice sort of odd.)
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myself




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 6:09 am
Presents were never associated with Chanuka for us. Chanuka Gelt here.
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June




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 6:14 am
I received this today in a Ben Olam Haba/Halacha for the Day email:

Quote:
The Ponovez Rav, Rav Yosef Shlomo Kajaneman Zatzal said that after the Greeks forbade the Jewish children from learning Torah, their parents had to "bribe" them with gifts to get them to learn once again. Giving gifts on Chanukah commemorates that aspect of the Chanukah miracle. Indeed, children should be told when receiving gifts that it is for this reason and that they are expected to increase their Torah learning because of the gifts. (See Sifsei Chaim from Rav Chaim Friedlander Zatzal; Moadim Vol. 2 page 134)


See also Shu"t Avnei Yashfeh Vol. 1 Siman 129:2 and Sha'arei Halacha U'Minhag Vol. 2 page 283


I do find the commercialization of all our holidays distasteful, but apparently there are sources to give gifts/gelt specifically on Chanukah. I thought this was very interesting.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 6:17 am
June wrote:
I received this today in a Ben Olam Haba/Halacha for the Day email:

Quote:
The Ponovez Rav, Rav Yosef Shlomo Kajaneman Zatzal said that after the Greeks forbade the Jewish children from learning Torah, their parents had to "bribe" them with gifts to get them to learn once again. Giving gifts on Chanukah commemorates that aspect of the Chanukah miracle. Indeed, children should be told when receiving gifts that it is for this reason and that they are expected to increase their Torah learning because of the gifts. (See Sifsei Chaim from Rav Chaim Friedlander Zatzal; Moadim Vol. 2 page 134)


See also Shu"t Avnei Yashfeh Vol. 1 Siman 129:2 and Sha'arei Halacha U'Minhag Vol. 2 page 283


I do find the commercialization of all our holidays distasteful, but apparently there are sources to give gifts/gelt specifically on Chanukah. I thought this was very interesting.

I thought so too. Thank you for sharing this!
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rachelle613




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 6:20 am
I just heard a great shiur online. The speaker was saying that for those not in Israel, chanuka competes with Xmas. Beautiful tinsel, huge giant lit up Santa Claus and sparkly trees- its hard to 'combat' all that with a little menorah in our window. If your kids are thrilled to make latkes, then of course- do it. But if they see the outside world and dream of presents, that's the war we're fighting. Culture makes all the difference.
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JAWSCIENCE




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 17 2014, 7:50 am
I don't think it is right or wrong to give gifts and I find it sad that some people on here appear to be judging others for giving them or feeling upset because others give them. Like so many things in life - it depends on your child! Maybe you have a kid who doesn't appreciate gelt, maybe you save all the things you were going to give the children anyway so that they can get them on Channukah and be very excited about it. Who knows? We can't judge what someone else does with their kid to get them excited for Channukah so long as it does not raise community standards to some ridiculous degree (ie: new doll? great. full american girl doll with all possible associated furniture sets and accessories etc probably a little overboard).
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