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Money for Rebbi, how much do you give?
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amother






Post  Tue, Dec 16 2014, 9:33 pm
I wanted to know what the average amount was for a chanukah gift for a Rebbi. We just had PTA for my 5 year old son who started cheder this year (so we are inexperienced) and gave him $100 with a nice note.
For my dd the class mother asked for $16 from each parent which included 2 teachers and an assistant which is great but I always feel that a Rebbi should get more since many times he's the only source of income and they are underpaid for the amazing work they do.
I feel teachers should get more too but I am glad there is some sort of system there.
If $100 is a lot then I dont want to be that parent who sticks out. I would love to hear if there is an average amount or is it whatever youd like?
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amother






Post  Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:02 pm
Totally normal for Lakewood .I'm addition to the $100 I have,I also chipped in for the class gift to the Rebbe.
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Reality









  


Post  Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:09 pm
I don't believe in bribing teachers. Chipping in for a present is wonderful and I always gladly give. Giving $100 is bribery in my book.

If you live in Lakewood why would you think that the Rebbe is the sole breadwinner? Don't most women work in your community?

Why is it ok to give the Rebbe $100 present plus chip in for a group present yet the hard working Morah, who is very likely supporting her husband in kollel, gets a measly $16?

Something is wrong with this picture!
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amother






Post  Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:18 pm
I am the pp. I love bribing the Rebbe and am completely ok with that. I want him to look out for and go the extra mile if my son needs it.
Additionally, I don't know if it would be considered a bribe as the majority of the class is giving a separate gift ,in addition to the class gift.

I contribute to the class gift as well,because of the feeling that the gift should look like a nice amount for the sake of those who cannot afford to gift the Rebbe separately.

As far as the female teachers go,I don't have any answer. I just know in my heart that this is what I need to do for my son.
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amother






Post  Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:27 pm
I"m in Lakewood. My child's school is not having a class gift.
I spoke to another parent and they said they are giving $36 to the rebbe. I plan on giving the same.
(Its a wealthier school but there are plenty of boys in my child's class who I know are struggling financially right now - not sure how fair it is that those that can should totally over shadow the others, but I guess that is life).
I will give the rebbe more then the English teacher (not necessarily female) because they spend much more time with the boys then the English teacher does.
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boysrus









  


Post  Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:32 pm
This thread is making me feel sad. Because I do not have much cash to spare. I have a bunch of kids with Rebbis and teachers . I cant afford to give any Rebbi any more than $10 each for a chanukah gift otherwise my bank account will be in overdraft. Surely I am not the only one out there who cant afford this gifting? Do you really think that my sons rebbeim will all treat my sons badly after getting a gift worth only a measly ten bucks for chanukah? I would not give $10 cash, I think that would look really cheap. I am hoping that it wont look as bad if I give a $10 giftcard to the bagel store or starbucks type stores, the kind of place where you anyway dont usually spend more than $10 at a time.
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cookiejar









  


Post  Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:32 pm
Reality wrote:
I don't believe in bribing teachers. Chipping in for a present is wonderful and I always gladly give. Giving $100 is bribery in my book.

If you live in Lakewood why would you think that the Rebbe is the sole breadwinner? Don't most women work in your community?

Why is it ok to give the Rebbe $100 present plus chip in for a group present yet the hard working Morah, who is very likely supporting her husband in kollel, gets a measly $16?

Something is wrong with this picture!


Why does it bother you for the rebbe to get a nice bonus to his very meager salary? I would venture to say that all or most rabbeim struggle to make ends meet, and gezunterheit! I feel like that is a nasty sentiment on your part! Let them make some extra! Unless maybe you're jealous and feel like that boy will get more attention than your son...?
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cookiejar









  


Post  Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:33 pm
amother wrote:
I wanted to know what the average amount was for a chanukah gift for a Rebbi. We just had PTA for my 5 year old son who started cheder this year (so we are inexperienced) and gave him $100 with a nice note.
For my dd the class mother asked for $16 from each parent which included 2 teachers and an assistant which is great but I always feel that a Rebbi should get more since many times he's the only source of income and they are underpaid for the amazing work they do.
I feel teachers should get more too but I am glad there is some sort of system there.
If $100 is a lot then I dont want to be that parent who sticks out. I would love to hear if there is an average amount or is it whatever youd like?


$100 is not a lot, I know many ppl who do it - or more - and if you can afford it then by all means, I feel it is the right thing to do.
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amother






Post  Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:36 pm
I can't afford to give much and I'm resentful of parents who BRIBE the teachers.
Just my two cents.
I do give something with a nice note, but it's not $50 or $100 and my kid can really use someone looking out for him.
I almost feel it's the poor vs the rich.
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boysrus









  


Post  Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:39 pm
amother wrote:
I can't afford to give much and I'm resentful of parents who BRIBE the teachers.
Just my two cents.
I do give something with a nice note, but it's not $50 or $100 and my kid can really use someone looking out for him.
I almost feel it's the poor vs the rich.


Now you are making me worry even more, amother! do you really think that the Rebbi will be biased in favor of the kids whose parents were very generous with their gifts? Is that just human nature?
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SRS









  


Post  Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:55 pm
I believe pretty strongly that money should not be exchanged between teachers and parents. It just does not seem appropriate in the current funding model. It is bad enough that students are not equal in that they come with equal funding into a school. Once a kid has been accepted into a school, they should be on equal footing. Buying afection and attention, oy.
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cookiejar









  


Post  Wed, Dec 17 2014, 12:14 am
amother wrote:
I can't afford to give much and I'm resentful of parents who BRIBE the teachers.
Just my two cents.
I do give something with a nice note, but it's not $50 or $100 and my kid can really use someone looking out for him.
I almost feel it's the poor vs the rich.


I think that your sentiment is coming from jealousy. It is not a bribe. It is hakoras hatov, and if you could afford to do it magnanimously you would do it too. It is a much much much better way to spend your money this Chanukah than almost anything else you can buy with it. Hakoras hatov and helping a struggling family?? What could be bad? I'm sorry, I think this bribery talk is all wrong.
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nameless









  


Post  Wed, Dec 17 2014, 3:52 am
[quote="boysrus"]This thread is making me feel sad. Because I do not have much cash to spare. I have a bunch of kids with Rebbis and teachers . I cant afford to give any Rebbi any more than $10 each for a chanukah gift otherwise my bank account will be in overdraft. Surely I am not the only one out there who cant afford this gifting? Do you really think that my sons rebbeim will all treat my sons badly after getting a gift worth only a measly ten bucks for chanukah? I would not give $10 cash, I think that would look really cheap. I am hoping that it wont look as bad if I give a $10 giftcard to the bagel store or starbucks type stores, the kind of place where you anyway dont usually spend more than $10 at a time.[/quote]

I would think any gift even small with a card or poem that deeply expresses how much you value and appreciate the time and effort he puts into you child would have the same effect.
Many Rabbeim go into chinuch as an ideal and then the bills pile up. Money def. helps and they will appreciate all the help they can get, but the note I think is really what keeps them going.
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Raisin









  


Post  Wed, Dec 17 2014, 6:42 am
I think 100% rebbes should get substantial tips. At least $100 on rosh chodesh and more on chanukah, purim, pesach and the end of year. Women teachers don't need any money. Give them some flowers or a nice note. Most women only teach to keep themselves busy, not because they need the money. Also, women are naturally nice to kids so you don't need to bribe them, unlike rebbes.
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amother






Post  Wed, Dec 17 2014, 7:41 am
Raisin wrote:
I think 100% rebbes should get substantial tips. At least $100 on rosh chodesh and more on chanukah, purim, pesach and the end of year. Women teachers don't need any money. Give them some flowers or a nice note. Most women only teach to keep themselves busy, not because they need the money. Also, women are naturally nice to kids so you don't need to bribe them, unlike rebbes.


Are you being sarcastic?

I'm someone who gives a larger tip to rebbe then English teacher.
To add to the reasons, because my sons' rebbe is with them much longer he has 2 recesses with them and is very involved. He organizes sports teams, gets them involved, supervises their friendships, gives prizes for involvement in group activities during recess. He also supervises Lunch which is a big job. (In this school rebbeim are on call recess and lunch). The English teacher is with them much less.
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Raisin









  


Post  Wed, Dec 17 2014, 8:14 am
amother wrote:
Are you being sarcastic?

I'm someone who gives a larger tip to rebbe then English teacher.
To add to the reasons, because my sons' rebbe is with them much longer he has 2 recesses with them and is very involved. He organizes sports teams, gets them involved, supervises their friendships, gives prizes for involvement in group activities during recess. He also supervises Lunch which is a big job. (In this school rebbeim are on call recess and lunch). The English teacher is with them much less.


Thats fair enough. Longer hours should =larger tip. But it seems that a rebbe gets more then a morah, simply for being a man. Even accounting for longer hours.
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Simple1









  


Post  Wed, Dec 17 2014, 8:21 am
amother wrote:
Are you being sarcastic?

I'm someone who gives a larger tip to rebbe then English teacher.
To add to the reasons, because my sons' rebbe is with them much longer he has 2 recesses with them and is very involved. He organizes sports teams, gets them involved, supervises their friendships, gives prizes for involvement in group activities during recess. He also supervises Lunch which is a big job. (In this school rebbeim are on call recess and lunch). The English teacher is with them much less.


Maybe she means as opposed to girls Morahs who do give a lot of time to their students.

I don't have boys right now with Rebbes, but I wonder what would happen if gifts were only allowed at the end of the year. No more bribery, but would people still give as much?

If everyone would give that much, the Rebbes would get thousands of dollars in gifts. That's a crazy big amount. Many working men struggle and don't get big holiday bonuses, and they're often not eligible for government programs. So it's not like Rebbes are the only ones who need money.
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rachel91









  


Post  Wed, Dec 17 2014, 8:24 am
Here it is an unwritten law, that rebbes get extra money from the parents for the yomim tovim, it is expected, because they get paid very little etc.
I don't have a son in school yet, but that is what I heard.

I'm not saying I agree with this, but that's how it goes.
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Raisin









  


Post  Wed, Dec 17 2014, 8:29 am
rachel91 wrote:
Here it is an unwritten law, that rebbes get extra money from the parents for the yomim tovim, it is expected, because they get paid very little etc.
I don't have a son in school yet, but that is what I heard.

I'm not saying I agree with this, but that's how it goes.


So I am assuming all the morahs get paid nice fat salaries?
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rachel91









  


Post  Wed, Dec 17 2014, 8:32 am
Raisin wrote:
So I am assuming all the morahs get paid nice fat salaries?


I have no idea, I didn't set up these 'rules' and I didn't check the moras bank accounts, so I don't know.

What I know is, that nobody (I know of) gives money for the morot on yomim tovim, they do get occasional presents though.
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