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Do You secretly cut your baby boys hair?
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 2:07 pm
Lots of people have the custom not to
Cut a boys hair before he's three. If your family/community does this, do you secretly cut your toddlers hair if it gets too long/messy/frizzy? Do you do it at a barber or by yourself? How do you make it look natural?
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busydev




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 2:18 pm
I do cut but not secretly cause we dont have the minhag (tho the other boys in our community do have long hair)

I dont get how some ppl have their kids hair look nice tho. so far both my boys always got really knotty and frizzy at a certain spot in the back of their head (from lying one it?). I cut that small section much earlier cause the knots dont come out.
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 2:33 pm
What is the point of doing it secretly? Because you don't keep the minhag and don't want others to know? There is nothing wrong with cutting his hair if you don't keep the minhag. If you do keep it, you may want to think to yourself why you do....because if you are doing it for the right reasons, it doesn't matter where you cut the hair, it defeats the purpose.
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 2:35 pm
Secretly? Meaning cutting the hair when Hashem can't see?

Upsherins are not necessary by Halacha. It is a nice Minhag. It is therefore seen as the proper thing to do in many circles. If you don't want to follow this Minhag, then don't. Who are you hiding from exactly? If you think it's so wrong that you have to hide it, then maybe you shouldn't be cutting his hair.
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chanee




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 4:57 pm
I cut not secretly but only where the knot or glue whatever is.
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bnm




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 5:46 pm
I didn't but was soooo tempted. After my son had tape in his hair for a medical procedure I told my husband if it dosn't wash out with one bath then we are cutting his hair a few months early.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 9:14 pm
Not a full short haircut. Just a little to keep it under control
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 9:15 pm
Nopes! I treasured every strand on his head. There were all too few of them... LOL
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cbg




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 10:02 pm
I know someone who use to cut the boys' bangs, but leave the rest of the hair long. They did it so the hair wouldn't be in their eyes.
I thought it strange.
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youngishbear




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 10:07 pm
My son's hair was pulled up in a bun, that's how long his hair grew. Couldn't wait for his first haircut. But I wouldn't cut it ahead of time - those upshern before and after pictures are priceless!!
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 10:32 pm
youngishbear wrote:
My son's hair was pulled up in a bun, that's how long his hair grew. Couldn't wait for his first haircut. But I wouldn't cut it ahead of time - those upshern before and after pictures are priceless!!

So you suffered two years for the ultimately cute pics? Na I'm not a martyr like that. Besides I can't imagine a toddler of mine keeping a bun on his head for more than a minute.
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 25 2014, 10:37 pm
Take my pearls of wisdom for what they're worth. I say, cut the hair a little if it bothers you or your child. You can still celebrate upsherin, that's when you cut his hair "officially" and cut peyos and give him a yarmelka.

(we don't do upsherin- but if we did, I would snip if I felt the need.)
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bnm




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 26 2014, 1:34 am
Zehava wrote:
So you suffered two years for the ultimately cute pics? Na I'm not a martyr like that. Besides I can't imagine a toddler of mine keeping a bun on his head for more than a minute.


so thats why my kid looked like he had a lion's mane some days.... I was so excited to cut it. I don't even make his payos now, some days I smooth it with a bit of water.
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youngishbear




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 26 2014, 1:36 am
Zehava wrote:
So you suffered two years for the ultimately cute pics? Na I'm not a martyr like that. Besides I can't imagine a toddler of mine keeping a bun on his head for more than a minute.


Wow, putting hair up in a bun two years is suffering?? Do you read other threads here? B"h for such tzaros. Lol.

It was a daily annoyance, but it was a fact of life, just like he keeps his yarmulke on his head now. We do have the minhag of upshern, so, no, it wasn't only for the pics. But the pictures are seriously stunning...

All's well that ends well.

To answer OPs question, no, I didn't secretly cut my son's hair. It would need to be cut too drastically to make a difference in the look or ease of maintenance, and it didn't even occur to me because of our minhag not to cut before the upshern at 3.

ETA: haha just realized you are OP...
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 26 2014, 1:39 am
you can still celebrate 3 y o, alef beis cheder and the whole thhing. hair is just a part of it
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eschaya




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 26 2014, 1:46 am
Upsherin is not our minhag, but we have done it because... well, why not? For our 3rd DS though his bangs were becoming unruly and he asked for a haircut like his brothers, so we did. No secret, but we did leave the rest of his hair long and still plan on making him an uplsherin when he turns 3. No big deal, no secret, no problems.
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youngishbear




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 26 2014, 1:48 am
imaima wrote:
you can still celebrate 3 y o, alef beis cheder and the whole thhing. hair is just a part of it


True. But our minhag is to not cut before the age of 3. There is a source for this.

It really wasn't that bad... whenever I did let his hair down I would get comments from people about his (or even her!) beautiful hair, asking if I enjoy playing with it... I just rolled my eyes, please come help me brush it in the morning... or at least wash it at night!
Wink
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bnm




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 26 2014, 1:49 am
youngishbear wrote:
Wow, putting hair up in a bun two years is suffering?? Do you read other threads here? B"h for such tzaros. Lol.

It was a daily annoyance, but it was a fact of life, just like he keeps his yarmulke on his head now. We do have the minhag of upshern, so, no, it wasn't only for the pics. But the pictures are seriously stunning...

All's well that ends well.

To answer OPs question, no, I didn't secretly cut my son's hair. It would need to be cut too drastically to make a difference in the look or ease of maintenance, and it didn't even occur to me because of our minhag not to cut before the upshern at 3.

ETA: haha just realized you are OP...


considering the fact that my kid has sensory issues and just getting him into clothing was a major struggle each morning, taking care of mid back length hair was a whole extra struggle. his hair was in his eyes at 8 months old already, we tried clips, rubbers, gel... at one point he walked around indoors with a headband.
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youngishbear




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 26 2014, 1:53 am
bnm wrote:
considering the fact that my kid has sensory issues and just getting him into clothing was a major struggle each morning, taking care of mid back length hair was a whole extra struggle. his hair was in his eyes at 8 months old already, we tried clips, rubbers, gel... at one point he walked around indoors with a headband.


That would certainly be more than just annoying.

I guess it depends on the child and the circumstances. My son was ok, it was more annoying to me, but a minhag is worth some annoyance.
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bnm




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 26 2014, 2:01 am
on days he let us brush it it WAS gorgeous. we are all happier now that its cut. I used to sometimes braid it and keep it in a braid for 2 days.... that happened very rarely. If I got it out of his face I was happy. Once he got glasses it kept it out of his eyes the last few months but his hair had to be pulled back to a certain extent before even putting it on.
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