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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
Not taking the baby out for the first month?
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amother


 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 8:05 am
I'm BeH expecting my first very soon.
DH mentioned that he'd prefer us not to take the baby out for the 1st month, except to tipat chalav etc for ayin hara reasons.
I've heard about this minhag but don't know anyone who actually does it. I really think I'll need to get out sometimes in the first few weeks, even to just go for a short walk or to pick up essentials from the supermarket, just so I don't go crazy at home! I also think it's good developmentally for a baby to be exposed in small amounts to different environments.
Plus, my parents will be staying with us, and as much as I love them, I think we'll need some space!

Does anyone know where this minhag comes from and anyone done it? How did you keep from going crazy at home?
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 8:20 am
There used to be, among Ashkenazi Jews in the early modern period, a ceremony called the Hollekreisch which was a naming ceremony that included the young children of the community who would come to the home of the new mother on the first Shabbat after giving birth that she left her house to attend synagogue - usually about a month after the birth. Maybe what you are describing is related to this custom?
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June




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 8:22 am
why do you need to go out with the baby? if your parents are there, leave the baby at home and go out on your own or with DH.
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out-of-towner




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 8:32 am
June wrote:
why do you need to go out with the baby? if your parents are there, leave the baby at home and go out on your own or with DH.


Sweetie, not everyone goes to their parents for the first month after birth. Not everyone has parents around to leave the baby with.
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June




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 8:34 am
out-of-towner wrote:
Sweetie, not everyone goes to their parents for the first month after birth. Not everyone has parents around to leave the baby with.


don't get all judgmental, please Very Happy
this is from the OP, I wouldn't have mentioned the parents otherwise (I would have said leave baby with husband):

Quote:
Plus, my parents will be staying with us, and as much as I love them, I think we'll need some space!
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out-of-towner




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 8:37 am
Oh sorry. embarrassed

It's a bit of a sore spot right now cuz I'm pp and my mil is leaving right after the Bris and I really don't know how I'm going to manage.
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June




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 8:41 am
out-of-towner wrote:
Oh sorry. embarrassed

It's a bit of a sore spot right now cuz I'm pp and my mil is leaving right after the Bris and I really don't know how I'm going to manage.


no worries Very Happy

mazel tov! when is the bris?


and op, I forgot to mention in my first post: b'shaa tovah!
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manhattanmom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 8:46 am
June wrote:
why do you need to go out with the baby? if your parents are there, leave the baby at home and go out on your own or with DH.


Wow. Why do you assume everyone has their parents there. And in terms of going out--the OP probably doesn't mean going out too far on her own....
My two summer babies were outside almost immediately--not in indoor spaces but definitely for some fresh air--even just sitting outside with baby in stroller or wearing baby in a sling....fresh air is always good for the baby.
(I had a more difficult time with my winter baby but that was also because I had an 18 month old at the time and I couldn't manage them both on my own outside, ground was covered in ice for most of that winter anyway...)
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 9:49 am
If you have someone available to watch the baby and you don't mind leaving him, maybe. Otherwise, personally, I would lose my mind. I go out every day and I really need it. It's also important for the baby to get natural sunlight exposure to ease into a day/night schedule, so depending how much sunlight you get in your house, that may also be a factor.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 11:13 am
It's about kimpeturin practices, existed all around Jewish communities.

It's not a law.

Hollekreish is still practiced Smile
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 11:24 am
I think it's common sense not to go out with the baby among people. I try to do that until 6 weeks, sometimes even more. If it's just a short walk around the block for fresh air, that would be fine.
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blushy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 1:53 pm
MaBelleVie wrote:
If you have someone available to watch the baby and you don't mind leaving him, maybe. Otherwise, personally, I would lose my mind. I go out every day and I really need it. It's also important for the baby to get natural sunlight exposure to ease into a day/night schedule, so depending how much sunlight you get in your house, that may also be a factor.

Wow! You're lucky you feel well enough to be up and around town like that so soon after a baby! I'm always, weak, sleep-deprived, engorged, and in pain from the stitches for at least 3,4 weeks. Can't even think about getting dressed, never mind running errands. Op, a kimpiturin schlepping groceries? Not in my world!
After my first baby I felt pressured to get dressed and look good and go out right away. Well, I pushed myself too hard, and didn't get to the Mikvah before baby was 3 months old. Lesson learned. So for my next, I literally forced myself to SIT (even if it was just on my front porch to get some air) until I was fully healed.
As for the baby, a walk around the block is fine, but you should not take such a tiny baby to public places where there will be exposure to lots of germs. A sick baby at that age is no joke. Even when I took my newborns to see their doctor, the secretary would quickly usher me out of the waiting room and into a back room to wait. There will be plenty of time for outings with the baby later.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 2:00 pm
some people - especially russians are big on this "minhag" ... they do not go out [unless there's a bris] for the entire first month

I would feel like someone imprisoned me - but if you make a big party after it might be something to look forward to ...
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 2:05 pm
greenfire wrote:
some people - especially russians are big on this "minhag" ... they do not go out [unless there's a bris] for the entire first month


Heh....I used to work with a Russian woman who gave me big, big speeches about making sure that my baby got enough fresh air...even in the middle of the winter (what's the big deal, now? Guess it's colder in the USSR!).



OP, if your DH wants you to keep a minhag that you don't feel you are holding by, you and your DH should discuss this (perhaps with a Rav). Make sure to state your feelings and needs clearly. It's very important for a mother to feel good about herself post-partum...for some, this means remaining indoors, and for others, it's getting out!
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 2:34 pm
I take my newborns out from as early as 10 days. I took walks at night with dh and the newborn starting at ten days this time.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 2:43 pm
Chayalle wrote:
Heh....I used to work with a Russian woman who gave me big, big speeches about making sure that my baby got enough fresh air...even in the middle of the winter (what's the big deal, now? Guess it's colder in the USSR!).!


because it's about ayin hora ... not the weather
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blushy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 3:21 pm
Op, I forgot to add in my last post, if his minhag only includes the baby not going out, and you're going stir-crazy cooped up, tell HIM to stay home with the baby, and you go out. Problem solved.
And, b'shaa tova! Most importantly, you and baby should be healthy Smile
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agreer




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 4:19 pm
pause wrote:
I think it's common sense not to go out with the baby among people. I try to do that until 6 weeks, sometimes even more. If it's just a short walk around the block for fresh air, that would be fine.


THIS!

Why would you take a baby out before she's protected by the first set of shots? Taking them to germy places like shopping malls, etc? No thanks! Wait 6 weeks first.

I don't get the ayin hara thing, because where does it end? Why 1 month? Maybe you shouldn't take him out the first year? The first five years?
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Bruria




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 4:54 pm
agreer wrote:
THIS!

Why would you take a baby out before she's protected by the first set of shots? Taking them to germy places like shopping malls, etc? No thanks! Wait 6 weeks first.

I don't get the ayin hara thing, because where does it end? Why 1 month? Maybe you shouldn't take him out the first year? The first five years?
Couldn't agree more, why take the baby out before the first set of vaccines? It's a little risky, plus we never know, someone can have a flu or something else, at home the baby is protected;)
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 31 2014, 5:43 pm
agreer wrote:
THIS!

Why would you take a baby out before she's protected by the first set of shots? Taking them to germy places like shopping malls, etc? No thanks! Wait 6 weeks first.

I don't get the ayin hara thing, because where does it end? Why 1 month? Maybe you shouldn't take him out the first year? The first five years?


Why does she have to go to germy places like the mall? There is pretty much no risk in taking walks.
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