Not taking the baby out for the first month?

southernbubby

Wed, Dec 31 2014, 8:36 pm

I have heard that women wait 2 weeks and then the mother goes to shul and answers amein to kedusha in shemonah esray. I used to do this and then this meant that the mother was now free to drive carpool, shlep, and all types of other stuff. By staying in, the world knew that she was recuperating and to leave her alone. If a woman is out and about, she will have a harder time telling the world to bug off if she needs a rest.

In the olden days, when my brother was born, the mother did not attend the bris. The nurse brought the baby from home and then returned him to the mother after the bris. Having a home nurse was considered important. It was considered too much activity for a new mother to get dressed and attend the bris. My grandmother, OBM, routinely spent 3 weeks convalescing in the hospital after a birth. This was considered normal. She was once given an orphaned infant to nurse because all babies in those days were breast fed. The convalescing mothers in the hospital all took turns nursing him.

Young mothers today obsess about attending the bris in their stylish non-maternity clothes and high heels. Looking like they were recently pregnant is a no-no.

amother

Wed, Dec 31 2014, 9:08 pm

I think OP should wait and see how much she's interested in going outdoors postpartum. I hope she has it easy.

Be warned: even if you are feeling great, an outing with the baby involves packing a diaper bag, feeding, burping, changing, bundling up, settling in the stroller, getting yourself presentable... the process used to take me over an hour.

At one point when I had two little ones it took two hours. By the time I was done, I had to feed baby again...

If we are talking about a walk around the block the preparations aren't so daunting.

I know skver has a minhag of kimpeturins not going outdoors except in a courtyard. I didn't know it was widespread minhag to stay indoors till baby is one month old even after hearing borchu.

amother

Wed, Dec 31 2014, 9:10 pm

southernbubby wrote:

Oy gevald. Glad in my community mothers don't attend the bris nowadays either. My son's pidyon haben put enough pressure on me.

MaBelleVie

Wed, Dec 31 2014, 9:37 pm

amother wrote:

Oy gevald. Glad in my community mothers don't attend the bris nowadays either. My son's pidyon haben put enough pressure on me.

What she wrote is not applicable everywhere. In my community there is zero pressure that I'm aware of. I've seen mothers in maternity clothing without makeup looking like they just gave birth (lol) and mothers who look more put together, but I don't think I've seen anyone in heels or really decked out. And it isn't a topic of discussion among guests.

amother

Sat, Jan 10 2015, 4:07 pm

I personally did not like taking the baby out either. I didn't want everyone to stare at my newborn, breathe on my newborn, ask to hold my newborn etc. I tried to minimize taking her out and had other family members (mainly DH watch her) when possible. I was forced to take her out pretty early on as she was yellow and needed to see the dr. several times. I did take her out other than that as well, especially cuz she needed fresh air and light (helpful for sleeping).

Anyway, OP, why don't you see how you feel? You may or may not get cabin fever so fast. After I gave birth, I felt amazing. I had very few stitches and was in shape. I was walking around the street fully dressed. (Big clothes and small maternity) for a few days as my parents came and they had better (and free) AC and I wanted to walk other visitors out.
Anyway, one day I was walking w/ my mother and the stroller up hill maybe a week PP, when suddenly, I started to feel bad and had to sit down and then turn around. This just reminded me that as good as I felt, I was still very weak and needed to rest.

Also, the first month is when you can take advantage of people that want to help. If you can get away w/ not doing a/t yourself. (Sounds like you can if DH wants to insist about the baby staying inside.), do it. You will have to manage a stroller, a diaper bag, a baby, feedings etc. soon enough. Why make it earlier?

If you are feeling cabin fever, I totally agree w/ other posters. Have DH watch the baby. I found it much easier to learn how to get back on buses myself (I looked kinda wobbly at first, ppl for sure thought I was preg.) before attempting w/ the stroller.