Do I need help? | Imamother

Barbara

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 3:42 pm

amother wrote:

original op here. they are not babies.. the are almost a year old if you read the original post. I did hold them a lot in the beginning. Thanks yes I know I need therapy. I have a therapist and I am on meds. nothing is helping though. and I want to know if I should just kick out my full time help. maybe being forced to deal with them is the answer.

Are these your oldest children?

When you say that you held them a lot in the beginning, did you also feed them and otherwise care for them?

What happens when the nanny isn't there?

What does your therapist say?

I don't think its a particularly good idea to be "forced" to deal with the babies for a full day. Trying to do more while the nanny is there would probably be best. Otherwise, what about sending her to the store with one baby for an hour or so, to see what you can do.

Dolly Welsh

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 3:44 pm

I would say don't fire her. I would say, sit in the room and watch her care for them. Just be there. See what develops.

You might consider a very thorough medical check-up.

Tell whoever is prescribing the meds what's going on with you. They NEED to know. Ask for a change in meds, either dose, or type. Consider asking for a recommendation to another doctor.

Consider asking your therapist for a recommendation to another therapist. They WON'T be offended. It comes with the job.

Sometimes you just need a different one. It's not that the first doc or therapist isn't good, it's that there can simply be a need for a different pair of eyes on the case.

Try to be in the same room with the children as much as you can stand.

No, don't get rid of the nanny.

I really appreciate that you are doing your best. Refuah Shleima.

Miri7

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 4:11 pm

Have you tried making a schedule and sticking to it? Make yourself the pilot in caring for the kids and the nanny your copilot?

She can prep food, clean up toys, do baby laundry, run errands for you or hold or play with one while you do the other?

As a mom of twins I think it would be great to have so much help. But really try to take on caring for the babies and use her as extra help. You could also take outings with one while she watches the other.

I would also suggest getting out of the house by yourself once or twice a week. Exercise, go for lunch or coffee with a friend. But make yourself get up and out of bed and dressed each morning. Take charge of the kids. (I'm trying to be inspiring here, not bossy).

But see if you can commit to a new routine where you care for the kids and she's the helper there to make things easier and fun for u.

I am glad that you are seeing a therapist. PPD and being a mom of twins are both really hard!!