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Bo Ba yom?



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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2015, 3:27 pm
From the bar mitzvah spending thread, I'm seeing people talking about making a seuda for this. I've never really heard of such a thing before my own step sons bar mitzvahs. My husbands minhag (Breslov) is to do hachnasas tfillin on the bo Ba yom if possible (not shabbos or Yt), and for both of them, what was done in their schools was to bring in dougnuts for the class and zehu (on the hachnasas tfillin. Nothing extra or special if the bo ba yom wasnt on that same day). Whats with all the added expence of extra seudas for? and then a kiddush, then another shabbos seuda, and then something after Shabbos?
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2015, 3:32 pm
I think there is an inyan to have a seuda on the birthday itself. Since it is not always a convenient day to have a big party, I guess people make it separately. We are doing that since I want to have the big party the day after the leining so people can travel in for both.

We did hanochos tefillin a few months before the bar mitzva. (2 or 3, can't remember) That was just cake and lchaim (which no one ate) in shul.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2015, 3:35 pm
most boys I know do hachnasas tefillin 2 months prior to their bar mitzva so as to have it learned in advance - by the time he is 13 he should put on tefillin proper

the day of the actual birthday some people do make a seuda because they want to celebrate as maybe not everyone can come on shabbos or just because it's nice [no it does not have to be a mini wedding without the kallah]

some boys layn in shul if it's a muntig or a durnstig ... others will just bring donuts for the boys in school
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2015, 3:36 pm
amother wrote:
I think there is an inyan to have a seuda on the birthday itself. Since it is not always a convenient day to have a big party, I guess people make it separately. We are doing that since I want to have the big party the day after the leining so people can travel in for both.

We did hanochos tefillin a few months before the bar mitzva. (2 or 3, can't remember) That was just cake and lchaim (which no one ate) in shul.

Seuda does not equil big party. Just sayin.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2015, 3:36 pm
We live in Jerusalem. I called my son's minahel before he started putting on tefillin to ask what the "minhag" is. He told me to bring in pastries for the boys (should have bought them at Osher Ad instead of bakery- would have been lots cheaper) with drinks. I brought in paper goods too. Zehu, as they say.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2015, 3:39 pm
My sons bo bayom will be at home. Schnitzle and rice and dessert for about 20 people. Classmates, a few cousins his age, and teachers.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2015, 3:45 pm
But when did it become "a thing" to do something for bo ba yom AND hachnasas tfillin?
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2015, 3:54 pm
A lot of people combine the bo bayom with a siyum to make it a seudas mitzvah. Sometimes it's the way to celebrate with friends, if they do a family only thing on Shabbos with the laining.

No idea when anything became the norm. Our resident historian (cough, cough) is not supposed to be on here anymore. Wink
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2015, 3:55 pm
well since they are 2 different days & 2 months apart ... I dunno I wouldn't make a big thing by hachnasas tefillin - but a bo bayom there is an inyan after all it's the real barmy day
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momX4




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 07 2015, 4:08 pm
Im not up to this stage yet, but the yeshiva encourages a bo bayom breakfast INSTEAD of inviting the boys to the bar mitzva party.

When the boys bring doughnuts they give one to all their previous rebbeim that are currently in the yeshiva, which I think is so sweet.
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goodmorning




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 08 2015, 2:58 pm
Hashem_Yaazor wrote:
A lot of people combine the bo bayom with a siyum to make it a seudas mitzvah. Sometimes it's the way to celebrate with friends, if they do a family only thing on Shabbos with the laining.

No idea when anything became the norm. Our resident historian (cough, cough) is not supposed to be on here anymore. Wink


Actually, many poskim say that a seuda bo bayom is already a seudas mitzvah due to the bar mitzvah (no siyum necessary). If you make a party some other day, that would require a siyum to make it a seudas mitzvah.
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