what unexpected kindness have you done for your DC?

Undefined

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 11:31 am

One time when I was younger I came home way past my curfew, when I got home my parents called me into the kitchen for what I thought was going to be confrontation, instead they asked me if I wanted to join them for ice cream! More than being upset they were relieved that I was ok. What out of the ordinary things have you done for your children that surprised them and made them really happy?

amother

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 2:48 pm

Quote:

I once took my dd out if school for an "appt." Really we went for ice cream it was a great day and she was so happy. I suggest doing more of these things for our kids.

I know kids love this, but as I teacher I cannot stand parents who do this. I come to school day in, day out and devote hours on end to teaching your children. What lesson are you teaching your kids by taking them out of school for these "appointments"? That school is not as important as eating ice cream with your mother? That the teacher's time is not as important as your time? And then I have to spend more of my time either reviewing what the child missed or teaching them something entirely new.
Take your kid for ice cream on Sunday or one night. Please don't do it on my time!

mommyla

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 4:15 pm

Iymnok wrote:

Because a happy child learns better.

And because every kid needs a "mental health day" once in a while. They need breaks. I pick up early or take mine out of school once in a while too, and it makes a huge difference.

amother

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 4:25 pm

He won't remember this but when my special needs son was 3 years old, we had our third child. And I didn't have any help or any money for help and I lived in a walking neighborhood. And I pushed in a huge double both my 3 yr old and my newborn around for all his therapies so his schedule would not change and he would never miss a therapy appointment. Literally a few days postpartum in the harsh winter and he never missed one appointment....I even remember nursing our newborn in a stairwell because my older son didn't cooperate with one of this therapists when I was nearby.

Sad thing is, not sure if it helped any....

amother

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 4:32 pm

amother wrote:

Quote:

I once took my dd out if school for an "appt." Really we went for ice cream it was a great day and she was so happy. I suggest doing more of these things for our kids.

I'm a teacher, too. And I think it's so beautiful when parents take their children out. I wish my mom has done something to make me feel special. I hope to do the same for my children one day God willing.

amother

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 4:36 pm

amother wrote:

Quote:

I once took my dd out if school for an "appt." Really we went for ice cream it was a great day and she was so happy. I suggest doing more of these things for our kids.

I'm a teacher too. And I think that yes...sometimes it's more important for a kid to eat ice cream with their mother than sit in my classroom.
Sitting in school is not the end-all be-all, being a healthy, happy person is. A kid cannot learn if they are in distress. I'm not saying this should happen all the time, but are there times when it would be completely appropriate? IMHO absolutely.

imaima

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 5:31 pm

amother wrote:

Why are children who are learning "in distress"?

amother

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 6:40 pm

If the only way we can make our children happy is by taking them out of school - something is very wrong with how we are raising our kids.
I want my kids to be happy in school. They can be happy that they are learning something new, or that they turned in their homework on time. If our children already need "mental health days" what kind of adults are they going to be?

zaq

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 6:56 pm

amother wrote:

I'll tell you: the kind who consider their impulses top priority. The kind for whom a commitment means "unless something more appealing comes along." The kind who will be unreliable when they enter the work force. Because that's what moms are teaching their children when they take them out of school for something frivolous--having fun is more important than school.

Undefined

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 7:32 pm

Having some quality bonding time alone with your parents is anything but frivolous, in fact it may even be more beneficial than anything they could learn in school. Not every aspect of life, especially responsibility is taught at school. I can't believe people feel this strongly about a child missing a short period of time from school. My kids school days are longer than many adult's workdays, kids could be harsh to each other as well. Ideally kids should like school and feel proud of their work etc but life isn't perfect, many kids are crushed by school and all that goes with it.
.

sky

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 8:12 pm

amother wrote:

Quote:

I once took my dd out if school for an "appt." Really we went for ice cream it was a great day and she was so happy. I suggest doing more of these things for our kids.

My high school used to give us a mental health day off. It was a fantastic thing.

amother

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 8:25 pm

Second teacher here. I wasn't thinking in the way of getting a break from school. My students are in preschool. If a mother comes to take a child out for special time together it shows that mommy made time in her busy day to give you special attention. The kids feel like a million dollars. That is worth everything.

sped

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 8:30 pm

My friend whose DH is big in chinuch kept her kids home every now and then for a break, but always found some "excuse" for it. She never told them it was "stam". Either the child had a sniffle or went to sleep very late after a simcha, or had an appointment and took the whole day off for that, etc. Her husband feels it's important for kids to have home time.

sneakermom

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 11:16 pm

We live in a fast paced world. Many moms work full time or have large families to attend to. Children are often craving one on one time with their parents.

That's why making a special outing together makes sense and is so special. It often has to be during school hours because that's when siblings are in school.

I do it with all my kids here and there and it's invaluable. I believe they will always remember it. And it is a teaching moment. They are learning they are special and how close we feel to each other.

And in the year 2015 that lesson is priceless.

seeker

Fri, Jan 09 2015, 1:19 am

zaq wrote:

I don't consider anything I do for my dc "a kindness", expected or otherwise. It's called "being a mother", that's all.

You could "be a mother" just by keeping your kid basically fed, clothed, sheltered, and schooled. That's not kindness, it's simply not being neglectful. But the unexpected acts of kindness are what really make children feel loved and build their inner self-worth. I think it's nice that someone started this thread so we can share and gain more ideas of how to do this for our kids.

My parents took excellent care of me in all the basic ways and even beyond that, got me nice things and tutors when needed and all these things that in truth are kindness but are perceived as part and parcel of parenting. But the things I remember most that give me the warm fuzzies are things like when they would bring home a little unexpected treat that showed they were thinking specially and kindly of me while they were away. I was into art when I was young, and once in a while my father would bring home some art supplies - now me being into art and him being totally not, his choices were usually not of much interest to me but the feeling of being loved was clearly strong because this is what I remember when thinking "unexpected kindness for DC"