handing out the challah

amother

Sun, Jan 11 2015, 10:16 pm

In what order does your husband eat/hand out the challah after making the bracha?

For example...
Does he say the bracha, cut himself a piece, take a bite, then cut the rest and hand it to you, then everyone else? Or something different?

And would anything change if his parents were present at the meal?

I'd love to hear from a variety of responders. Thanks!

joy613

Sun, Jan 11 2015, 10:28 pm

He says the Beracha, cuts a piece for himself, dips it into salt and takes a bite.
Then he cuts another piece, dips it into salt and gives it to me. Then he does the same for each kid, one by one.
It's been a while since we had his/mine parents at our table but if I remember correctly he gave himself, then me, then parents, and then the kids.

seeker

Sun, Jan 11 2015, 10:32 pm

Says a bracha, cuts a large piece of challah, cuts a small piece off that for himself, takes a bite, then cuts up the rest of the large piece so everyone is getting from the "first" piece. Gives me next, then any parents/grandparents who are present, then other guests, then kids oldest to youngest. I imagine if there were ever many parents/guests/kids we would probably do more of a pass-the-basket idea, but the max we ever have is usually one or two guests and our own two kids so the distribution is individual.

clowny

Sun, Jan 11 2015, 11:55 pm

Makes a brachah, cuts for everyone a slice challah, dips first one into salt and hands me, dips second one into salt and takes it for himself and then continues to dip and hand out for the rest of the kids.
I once asked him why he does it that way it seems like a very long hefsek. He said that's what his father does too.

doctorima

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 12:02 am

clowny wrote:

While it sounds chivalrous to give you first, I don't think that halachically he's supposed to give you (or anyone else) before he takes for himself.

momX4

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 12:09 am

doctorima wrote:

While it sounds chivalrous to give you first, I don't think that halachically he's supposed to give you (or anyone else) before he takes for himself.

I have seen men do the same. They also dont eat their food until the wife sits down to eat as well, even if he gets served first.

clowny

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 12:13 am

momX4 wrote:

I have seen men do the same. They also dont eat their food until the wife sits down to eat as well, even if he gets served first.

Right. Dh would not start eating before me.

Doctorima, He does what his father does. I don't think there are halachas to this. It's family tradition and/or minhagim.

vicki

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 1:58 am

Dh says the bracha, pulls a piece for himself, dips in salt and takes a bite. Pulls a piece for me, dips and throws it across the table.
Then he proceeds to pull pieces for each person at our table in age order, dips in salt unless they start making furious hand motions. In that case he skips the salt and throws it across the table to them.
Then I sweep the floor.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 2:11 am

vicki wrote:

I have a friend who's DH is a "tosser". I was so shocked the first time I saw him lobbing pieces of challah across the table, even at guests!

I have another friend who's DH will take the first bite of challah, and then tease everybody else by not giving out the challah so that no one else can talk. It was funny the first couple of times, but now I find it very annoying and childish.

Things are nice and boring at my house. DH cuts all the challah, salts it, takes for himself and has a bite, then gives to me and DD in that order.

amother

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 2:29 am

vicki wrote:

My father used to do that (rip the pieces and throw). I once heard a sheur where a Rav described doing it like that. DH doesn't

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 4:02 am

Here is an answer to shake things up Wink

My mother has a friend and I have a friend who they do the bracha on the challah, the wife, not the husband. And they make the bracha, cut and give to themselves and husband at the same time, then to the children. I would assume if a parent was over they would give to the parents after the spouse.

etky

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 4:13 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Here is an answer to shake things up Wink

We also have friends in whose homes the wife makes the hamotzi. Can't remember in what order they give out the bread. We also have friends who are 'tossers'.
In our own home we do it the boring way, as FF described.

kalsee

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 4:25 am

momX4 wrote:

I have seen men do the same. They also dont eat their food until the wife sits down to eat as well, even if he gets served first.

The difference is, when a person makes a bracha and at the same time is motzi others.
the one making the bracha should eat before the others. check it out in hilchos brochos

cinnamon

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 4:50 am

seeker wrote:

This is what dh does.

sky

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 9:09 am

DH cuts challah for everyone. Dips his piece in salt. Takes a bite. Dips for me. Gives me. Dips rest and passes it out.
If his parents are there they get after me (his father told him this is how it should be).

I was taught that you cannot eat the challah before the one who made the bracha.

We don't "hand out" challah. We place it in front of the person or pass it out in a tray. I don't know why but my husband's family doesn't hand someone challah.

[BTW with the cup of wine used by bentching, my DH said specifically it should be given to the wife of the man who "bentched". When the melachim came to Avrohom he sent the wine into sarah. ]

amother

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 12:37 pm

I was also taught that the cutter/bracha maker eats first. In our house whomever cuts takes a bite first, then gives to others. DH and I will usually hand to each other, then pass the rest on a tray. If it's just us then we hand directly to our kids.

I'm glad that there are other homes where the wife makes the bracha.

But our house might be a little unusual because I also make Kiddush sometimes when it's just us or our parents and siblings. I don't make Kiddush when we have guests who may prefer that a man does it. I have a DH who insists that his daughters grow up knowing all of the Davening, how to lein Torah and the megillot, and learn Gemara regularly just like our sons. So it's his idea that I should make Kiddush in our house as a dugma for our kids.

amother

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 12:59 pm

When I was young, I often went to a sefardi friend whose father also threw the challah at the Shabbos table. I think he noticed the shocked look on my face because I remember him explaining that they throw it in order to show that they do not have to stretch out their hand to ask for bread because that shows poverty. Like it says in the last paragraph of bentching "Vzaro mevakesh lachem"So they throw it to everyone as a sign of bracha and plenty. I've always thought that was such a beautiful minhag and remembered it for all these years Smile

Rubber Ducky

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 1:03 pm

My husband cuts a tiny piece from the end, next cuts through the exposed area perpendicular to the first cut but not all the way through the challah, and then goes back to his original direction so his next cut actually creates 2 pieces.

He dips one piece in salt for himself, dips the second piece and puts it on my plate, and takes a bite of his piece. Then I take a bite of mine and he cuts for everyone else, dipping each piece in salt and either handing them out or or putting slices on a tray depending on how many people are at the table.

Ruchel

Mon, Jan 12 2015, 2:42 pm

By us my husband slightly "slices" on the "best side" of the chulla, makes bracha, tears a bit for himself, dip in salt, eats a bit, tears as many as people and dips, puts them on a dish and makes it turn, start by me.

He learned ideal is the one making bracha, then balebus if not him, then balebuste, then guests from most important to less, finally the family kids oldest first.