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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Explain to son he takes Ritalin?



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amother


 

Post Tue, Jan 13 2015, 6:23 am
My 9 year old is on Ritalin for months. We told him it's a vitamin but lately he's skeptical and it's hard to get him to take it. I'm afraid if we explain what it really is he will flat out refuse to take it. He's asking more questions about it and wants to know why his siblings don't take it. Would you tell him the truth? If so, how do I explain without making it sound like I've been lying to him this whole time?
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 13 2015, 6:35 am
Yes, I would tell him. You're going to have to tell him eventually, and the longer you wait, the more upsetting he'll find it that you've been dishonest.

He's hardly the only kid on Ritalin, and a lot of families are open about it, so the longer you wait the bigger the risk he'll figure it out on his own.

You were lying to him. But maybe you could spin it as, "I said it's a vitamin, but that's not exactly true. It's like a vitamin in that it helps keep you healthy and focused, but it works a little differently." IOW portray it as a partial truth rather than a full-out lie (but again, keep in mind that he will eventually know exactly what ritalin is and exactly what vitamins are, and you're going to want him to still trust you at that point. It's better to admit to a lie when he's 9 to get his trust at 15, than to lie now only to have him figure you out and trust you less at 15).
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 13 2015, 6:37 am
Im wondering why you felt the need to lie to your son about it to begin with.
I have a relative who is 11 and the parents told her why she needed to take the medication.
I think like ora said, you will have to tell him the truth eventually. Start a clean slate now and go forward with your son in a positive way.
Good Luck to you!
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jan 13 2015, 7:04 am
My son is 6 and we are trying Ritalin for 2 weeks. We have tried everything else and I couldn't not try it if it helps him with being sucessful and boosting his self esteem when it comes to school, social skills, and more. He was really suffering without the help.

I crush it and put it in a litle chocolate milk or juice (feeling bad the whole time for not telling him!).
If it works well for him, and so far it has- I will absolutely tell him. It is nothing for him to feel bad about, its just helps him work at his best. He is very self aware about what is challenging for him and knows he just needs help to think about just one thing at a time. So far it has been very helpful and I hope this will continue to work for him.

As for wondering why nobody else has it? Nobody in our house gets the same things. It is very straightforward, this is what he needs and what helps him. That's all. If one person in the house gets a fever and needs tylenol, it doesn't mean everyone should take it or that everyone needs it. There is nothing wrong with medicine when used the right way. That is how I would explain it to him.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 13 2015, 7:20 am
Great answer, amother! That's the approach we took, too -- everyone has different strengths and different needs, this one needs glasses, this one benefits from meds.

I agree with Ora about spinning it but getting out of that lie ASAP.

Many kids are relieved to have ADHD explained to them. Often, they are painfully aware that there are things that other kids seem to do easily, and they just can't.

There are children's books that can help you explain. Your doctor may have some ideas, too.
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m in Israel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 13 2015, 7:27 am
Definitely tell him -- keep it honest and non-judgmental. We explained to my son that everyone's brain works differently and has different strengths and weaknesses. His brain is great at certain things (we discussed some of them -- creative thinking, problem solving, he has a great memory), but it also has some trouble staying calm and paying attention. This difficulty is called ADHD and is actually pretty common. There is a medication that helps the brain work better in this area and the doctor thinks this will help him. Answer any questions as honestly as you can.
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CatLady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 13 2015, 9:23 am
I'd explain to him that some people need glasses to help their eyes focus, and some people need Ritalin so their brains can focus. (Some people need both!)
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supermom3




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 13 2015, 10:06 am
Ritalin makes a lot of kids feel sick. No appetite, tired, dull... It may be good for sitting in class (that's the idea Wink ) but it takes away the fun of recess and can generally ruin your day. My kids who needed it always fought it cause it made them feel sick. You have to tell your son about it. Make sure he knows it's not a behavior drug. It's really just like glasses. But you have to see why he's opposed to it. The stigma? Makes him sick?... When you know the reason you can work with him. One concerta in the morning so no one knows he's taking it. Or a 10 mg just before math...

My friend's son told her - I don't need it but it makes school so much more interesting.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jan 13 2015, 10:43 am
shabbatiscoming wrote:
Im wondering why you felt the need to lie to your son about it to begin with.


Before you judge me you might want to read what I actually wrote. I explained that I feel if we tell him the truth he will refuse to take it.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jan 13 2015, 6:29 pm
When I started my daughter on ritalin at the age of 6 I was also quite nervous about what to tell her, anyway I really didn't want to make a big deal about it so I just told her that the dr said she should take this tablet everyday because it is good for her, she actually took it with out too much of a fuss.
But I Was totally shocked a few weeks after she started taking it her teacher told me that there was a discussion going on in class about tablets because one of her class mates had taken a tablet for something and my daughter said, "oh I take a tablet every morning, I used to have just half of it now I have a whole one every morning, why do you think I have become so good, I never used to have any friends because I wasn't so nice but now I have got lots of friends" I was so overwhelmed when her teacher told me this, I had never indicated to her that she was taking tablets because of her behaviour.
Also two weeks after she started taking them I was lying on her bed with her trying to get her to go to sleep and she said to me "since I have started taking these tablets I can't fall asleep at night" I was also very surprised then how perceptive she was that she connected the two.

And just as a side note, putting her on ritalin was the greatest gift I could have given her.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 13 2015, 8:27 pm
it's a hard call because I don't believe in being dishonest & yet you need him to at least try it so he has a chance for it to help

he'll find out soon enough as well - you don't want him to have reason to mistrust you - this would be my concern too
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