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How would you feel if your husband would be a polygamist?
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:17 pm
How do you feel about the fact that the Torah allows a man to have more then 1 wife? How would you feel if your husband would get married to another woman in addition to you?
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:18 pm
Ha he can hardly handle one wife. LOL
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:22 pm
If you have the type of husband who wants intimacy every single night, and once a week is plenty for you, then maybe it could work out. I think that some wives would be relieved when the nagging stops. Wink
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:23 pm
Aghast at the exhorbitant funeral expenses.
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youngishbear




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:28 pm
sequoia wrote:
Aghast at the exhorbitant funeral expenses.


I was going to bring up divorce... not homicide shock ...

Twisted Evil
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:31 pm
I see most people posted joking (half joking?) responses. Here is my very real response.
I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate that! It's not fair. I am so happy it was banned (for now). I can't stomache the thought of the thought of thought of my husband being married to (or remotely interested in) any women other than moi.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:32 pm
amother wrote:
If you have the type of husband who wants intimacy every single night, and once a week is plenty for you, then maybe it could work out. I think that some wives would be relieved when the nagging stops. Wink


Banging head At wits end

or the other way around

this should be on shidduch resumes
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:35 pm
This is actually the one thing that I just cannot wrap my head around in terms of yiddishkeit. If anyone has a good explanation please let me know! It never sat right with me and really bothers me.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:37 pm
amother wrote:
I see most people posted joking (half joking?) responses. Here is my very real response.
I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate that! It's not fair. I am so happy it was banned (for now). I can't stomache the thought of the thought of thought of my husband being married to (or remotely interested in) any women other than moi.


This is why it was banned.
But think back to a time when it offered women protection, was normative, and men really did everything they were supposed to, and the women could contrast their lives to the polygamous cultures around them without the safeguards we had.
And no, I'm not for bringing it back. Most men aren't either - two mothers in laws Tongue Out
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:40 pm
PinkFridge wrote:
This is why it was banned.
But think back to a time when it offered women protection, was normative, and men really did everything they were supposed to, and the women could contrast their lives to the polygamous cultures around them without the safeguards we had.
And no, I'm not for bringing it back. Most men aren't either - two mothers in laws Tongue Out


I'm the amother you quoted. What safeguards do you mean?
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:44 pm
since lineage is patriarchal - one always knows who their descendants are ...

I wouldn't mind having a minyan of my own ~ iykwim [jk]

but I guess jealousy would come into play & ultimately I would feel cheated on - dunno how they did it back then
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blushy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:45 pm
From what I learned , there were certain conditions that had to be met before a man could take another wife, it wasn't as common as we think it was.
For example, he had to be able to fully support two families. So even if it were to be re instituted, the vast majority of men today would be not able to do that. (Double tuition payments, anyone? Not likely!)
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Undefined




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:46 pm
I have often somewhat jokingly told my husband he could have a concubine, but really I'd prefer a cowife. Imagine sharing the burden of the house with her, we could split up making shabbos together, take turns putting kids to bed , help with cleaning, decisions etc. Not to mention when I'm not in the mood for intimacy. My only requirement is that she be slightly heavier than me, not that attractive, and not smell as good as me Wink
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:48 pm
amother wrote:
I'm the amother you quoted. What safeguards do you mean?


See blushy below, though I can't say for sure exactly what. I think he had to split his time fairly, for ex.

ETA: blushy's below my previous post, but above this one.


Last edited by PinkFridge on Thu, Jan 15 2015, 6:30 am; edited 1 time in total
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mazal555




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 5:58 pm
Honestly, it would depend on the circumstances. If G-d forbid I was really infertile even with treatments, and DH wasn't and really wanted to have kids, I would rather share than lose him. Or if he had to divorce me after 10 years because of it, I would rather he add a second wife. Or if I had a health problem and really couldn't be intimate in a reasonable way, I would rather share him with a second wife than have him look for it in some dangerous place. But as an ideal in a normal situation, I wouldn't go for it. But I think it was always for special cases, never an ideal.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 6:00 pm
There is no way I would feel anything because my dh would not be allowed to live long enough to indulge, lol! But seriously, it is all about expectations and what one is used to. If one grows up in a milieu in which this is normal, one accepts it as normal. It makes economic and social sense in a society in which women outnumber men and women have little or no way to earn their own living, but it is never a good idea from a personal standpoint. Even though it is permitted, the Torah does not encourage it and in fact makes it fairly clear that it is not a good idea. In virtually every case in Tanach where there were multiple wives, there was strife among them, and if not among the wives themselves, then among their children, particularly in matters of who had the right to the succession. There is enough animosity among full siblings, let alone half-sibs.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 6:09 pm
Think it would be nice to have a wife...someone else to carry my babies for 9 months instead of constantly stretching my body Smile
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supty




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 6:29 pm
Watch the show Sister Wives. It's fascinating!!
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Fave




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 6:35 pm
It would solve the shidduch crisis
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b from nj




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 14 2015, 6:54 pm
He would be my EX husband & NOT my husband. I would NEVER tolerate it b/c it's so disrespectful especially in today's day & age.
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